Missing the Hunt
by Stryder2008
Summary: Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he knows he has to be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brother? Hurt/Tortured!Dean, Angsty/Hurt! Sam. Not Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into th_**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. _**

**Chapter 1**

_It's just Beginning_

Dean stared quietly out the window of the Impala…his father had turned on the radio but he wasn't really _listening_ to any of the music. The passing fields were making him feel a little dizzy, but he couldn't look at his father or the sleeping form of his little brother in the back seat. So he watched the fields flash by and he tried to ignore the slices of pain echoing through his skull and finding release somewhere in his body. The surgeries had all gone well and he was _recovering_, if that's what this could be called. To be quite honest, he was scared…and he had to get control of these unfamiliar emotions…and quickly.

Dean's thoughts kept turning to the coming future…_his_ coming future. He drew in a deep breath and felt his ribs twinge with pain as they reminded him for the hundredth time just how closely he'd come to not making it out this time. He hated that he couldn't breathe easy yet, that he seemed to relive the memories at the worst possible moments. At night when he should be sleeping he could feel the knives cutting into his flesh and he would wake up in a cold sweat. Dean had never been afraid of anything…not in his entire life. With the exception of screwing up and losing Sam…or screwing up and getting his father killed while they were on a hunt. But truthfully, that was it. He wasn't afraid of the dark, or things that went bump in the night…but losing his family? Yeah…that scared the bejesus out of him. He glanced back where Sam was currently drooling all over the pillow he was laying on. His right shoulder carefully tucked against his body as he slept.

And Dean felt an almost overwhelming sense of responsibility. Sammy wouldn't have been hurt if he hadn't had to come after Dean's sorry ass…and that thought hurt. That _he_ was the reason for his brother's pain…_he_ was the cause of the injury that was going to require months of rehab. Dean furrowed his eyebrows and thinned his lips in frustration at the situation that those slimy human bastards had put him in. Sam's too long _girly_ brown hair had fallen forward making him look even younger than his fifteen years. And that too plagued Dean…whenever he looked at his little brother…he would see the little kid that used to follow him everywhere. The kid that had thought that he'd hung the moon and would never let anything bad happen to him…and yet there he was with his fucking arm in a sling after being shot.

It didn't help that he'd gotten some pretty crappy news from the doctor right before he'd been released…and unfortunately…it was proving to be pretty accurate. The slight headache that he seemed to have _all_ the time would increase in the evenings and he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Because the other shoe _always_ dropped where he was concerned.

Dean wasn't under any illusions, he knew what he was…knew where his place in the family was. He was the _guardian_…the _protector_…and any other descriptive word that meant…grunt. And he didn't mind it…he really didn't. He would always put Sam and his father's needs first…their safety would always trump his. But as he looked at the uncomfortable way his father would shift every now and then, because of getting stabbed while saving _Dean's_ life…he felt his guilt digging deeper into an already saturated soul.

"How's the head?" His father asked, causing him to jump a bit as it caught him off guard. Dean looked over and saw the worried expression his father was throwing his way.

"Uh…it's okay." Dean stumbled over the words as he fought to sorta tell his dad _a version of the truth_…if not the details. He didn't want John knowing how bad the headaches were getting; or that they were there all the time…kinda Omni-present in the back of his head. Didn't matter if he was awake or asleep, he always hurt.

John raised an eyebrow and pulled in a long labored breath as he debated on whether or not to call his son out on the lie. He could see Dean struggling with the pain and not just the physical pain, but the emotional fallout as well. Taking the boys to Bobby's was best for both of them…but he couldn't help but wonder whether or not Dean would bounce back from this. They'd been through a lot and his eldest son was one of the strongest men he knew…but strong men could be broken. He'd seen it when he'd served in the Marines…it just took the right hammer. And watching the broken looks his son kept throwing in Sam's direction…John knew what Dean's _hammer_ was...and that terrified him. What his son would be willing to do for Sam? It was unlimited.

"Really?" John said quietly.

Dean looked over at him and he sighed pitifully...a sound John had never heard from his eldest son before. "Dean…it's, okay to talk to me you know..." John said gently. He wasn't really a caring and sharing kind of father…and Dean _really_ wasn't a 'chick-flick' kinda son...but they needed to talk about this.

Dean reached up and scrubbed his hand down his face and then shook his head in denial. "I'm fine dad. Can we just not talk about this?" His voice was slightly desperate in an attempt to get his father to just leave this alone. He wasn't ready…he couldn't talk about it. Dean wasn't going to burden either his father or his brother with his weaknesses.

"Okay...Dean…okay. Just if you decide you need to talk…I'm here." John said quietly as he turned his eyes back to the black pavement. Bobby had taken his truck and driven it back to his place, so that when they got there John could leave the Impala with Dean and Sam. But he wouldn't be staying for long. John had a lead and he needed to follow that up. He needed to find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch…and he couldn't tell his boys about it. Because he still didn't know what the bastards end game was. And John thought that might be the scariest thing of all. That the demon had come after his family for a reason, one that he still didn't understand. As his blue eyes shifted between the huddled form of his eldest and the stretch out relaxed one of his youngest son…he sighed.

Dean's glassy eye's flickered in his father'a direction, but he didn't say anything. He could see what his father was thinking…and whatever it was that his father was thinking about it was a heavy subject. John had _that_ look on his face. The look that he got whenever he started wondering about decisions that he either had made or was about to make.

XXXX

They pulled into Bobby's salvage yard around midnight. Dean had finally managed to fall asleep, his body's exhaustion trumping his rampaging mind. The Impala rolled to a stop and the sudden lack of motion had him jerking against the door. The sudden flash of pain made him groan and he twisted slightly to pull his body into a better position.

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asked as he leaned forward and placed a light hand on Dean's good shoulder...fingers squeezing gently.

Dean nodded without looking back at his brother. He already knew what he'd find there…sympathy and understanding would be plastered on his little brother's expressive face. His blue-green eyes wide and worried as he waited for his brother to reassure him.

"I'm okay, Sammy." Dean managed and swallowed as a bolt of agony pulsed behind his eyes. He reached up and ran his fingers through his short hair and then scrubbed it down his face in frustration. He couldn't quite seem to get rid of the headache…no matter how much medication he took. Although at the moment, he wasn't really taking much of anything. He didn't want it to dull his responses if something had happened while they were driving. Even with his father right there…it was still Dean's responsibility to take care of Sam.

"Sure you are Dean." Sam said flippantly and removed his hand in frustration. _When are you going to trust me Dean?_ He asked himself as he watched Dean slowly climb out of the car. Sam grabbed his bag and followed his brother out of the car and in toward the inviting lights of Bobby's old farm house. He watched as his brother limped across the gravel, the soft shoes he wore doing little to protect his injured feet from the cold and jagged ground. Dean wouldn't even let him carry his duffel bag, their father might have been able to trump his older brother…but John had limped back to quickly shut the gate and reconnect the wards and protections that Bobby had stashed all over the yard.

Dean looked at the steps and inwardly sighed as he grabbed the railing and he pulled himself up the wooden stairs and onto the landing if the old porch. The door was suddenly thrust open and the smiling face of one Bobby Singer was revealed as the soft white light of his kitchen poured out around him. His face broke into a brilliant grin as he looked at the two boys standing in front of him.

"Well don't just stand there letting all the heat out…come in ya idgits." Bobby said. His voice was infused with warm affection as he helped shuffle the boys inside the house.

Dean thanked him quietly and then asked if he could go straight to bed. At the slight nod from Bobby he'd limped through the kitchen and into the living room, looking at the line of stairs that led to the room he and Sam always shared when visiting. He felt more than heard Sam step up behind him and offer silent support as he carefully pulled Dean's bag from his almost limp grasp.

"I can carry this Dean." He said in a quiet voice as his heart ached for the pain this was going to cause his big brother.

Dean thought about it for only a moment and then he pulled in a labored breath and started the trek up the stairs. By the time he reached the top landing he was covered in a film of cold sweat and he was shaking from the exertion. Sam had wisely kept quiet and waited at the bottom of the stairs as he watched his brother struggle. It was hard to table his knee jerk reaction...which was to help. But he knew that Dean would never allow it, the fact that he let Sam take his bag was somewhat amazing in and of itself. His thoughts kept flitting back to Dean's normally bouncy step, his constant need to move and talk…and he felt tears burning in his eyes at the thought that that side of Dean might not return.

These were some of the things that Sam both loved and hated about his brother. But as he watched the broken shell that limped down the hallway toward their room he determined that he would do anything to have that side of his brother back...he missed Dean...the old Dean. Cocky and self assured, Dean.

XXXX

John looked over at Bobby over the rim of his glass as he downed the burning golden liquid. He knew that he needed to leave first thing in the morning and he hated himself for it. "I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing here, Bobby." He finally ground out with the help of the the whiskey.

"John, you gotta go and track this thing…and yer boys? They're safe here with me." He said simply as he watched the father struggle with this decision.

"I know that. I wouldn't leave them here if I thought differently." He sighed and ran his fingers through his dark hair. "I just…I'm worried about Dean. He isn't handling this as well as I would have hoped." John looked over at the older hunter and gave him a grim smile. He knew what Bobby was thinking…_how was a person supposed to handle torture?_

Bobby shrugged. "People heal on a curve, John. He'll be okay, we just gotta get him healed up and back out on some hunts. I'll do that as soon as I get an okay from his doctors." He walked over and poured himself another glass of whiskey and then offered the bottle to John. "How's his head?" He asked as almost an afterthought.

"I'm not really sure…he won't talk to me about his injuries. I think he's getting headaches…but the doctor wouldn't talk to me about them either. I think Dean must have asked him not to. Because he's over the age of eighteen, I can't get that information unless Dean gives it up willingly…and he doesn't seem too inclined to do that." John sagged as exhaustion tripped through his body. "I gotta hit the sack Bobby. I'm heading out at first light." He finished as he gulped the last of the whiskey from his glass.

XXXX

_No sight…no sound…just nothing…and then pain. Pain that ran through his head like a pick ax trying to split his skull open. His body arched against the bed, which set off a cacophony of groans emanating uncontrolled from his lips. He was trapped inside the confines of his own mind. The feeling of helplessness and confusion making him pray that he wasn't back in the clutches of Kale and the others. Somehow he wasn't exactly sure how…he'd been reinjured…at least he thought that's what must be going on. Because this level of pain...it just couldn't be normal…Dean could feel every injury screaming for attention as he tried to deal with the nausea and the dizziness that swirled through his abused head._

_Sam…his father…he needed to find them…needed to know that they were okay. He struggled against the pull of the darkness and fought to open his eyelids…but even as he did there was no light…just sounds…_

It took a second for Dean's brain to catch up with his body and for him to latch onto the fact that it was still dark outside…which explained the diminished sight thing. Dean struggled to sit up in bed as the blanket fell and pooled around his hips. The pain in his back rippling through his system. His right hand strayed upward to claw at his head in an attempt to stop the blinding pain that was slicing through it. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and tried to pull himself to his feet. Dean knew that he needed to make it to the bathroom that was just down the hall, or else he was going to throw up all over the floor. Dizziness washed through him and he choked back the bile rising in his throat as he lurched to his feet and his torn soles slammed onto the cold wooden floor. Dean bit his lower lip to the point that he tasted the metallic ring of blood. In a desperate attempt not to cry out and wake up his little brother, who he knew was sleeping less than ten feet from him.

But as he struggled to his feet, he felt the room spin and his grasp on reality slip as he crashed bonelessly to the floor. A soft 'Oomph…' the only sound he made.

TBC…

**Author's Note: ** _This is just the started chapter to bring anyone that didn't read the first story up to speed. The chapters will move away from this type of backstory and off into the healing and the start of a hunt that neither of the boys see coming. John will be mostly absent for this story as it will focus mainly on Dean and Sam…with some awesome Bobby thrown in too. I will also explain Dean's medical condition, as far as his headaches are concerned. This story is going to be cool, I've got some research ahead of me…but I'm excited to see where it goes._

**Please Review: So I know that you guys are interested in seeing this sequel continued. If interest is low, I may just table it. Thanks in advance.**


	2. Damn-it Dean

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response...please continue to let me know what you are thinking..._**

**Chapter Two**

_Damn-it Dean…_

The world was warm and soft and smelled of a mixture of dust and old dryer sheets. A long slow breath was pulled into a tired body as movement shuffled through the muscles. Thoughts of being safe and happy floated through a tired mind when a sudden jarring sound caused him to start unintentionally.

Something pulled Sam from his restful sleep, his muscles bunching suddenly and then a painful shock rippled through his system, causing him to moan. He launched himself up in bed, his eyes frantically whirling around their shared room. His concerned gaze falling quickly on the rumpled…but _very _empty bed of his brother; he shifted so that the blankets fell off his chest and swung his long legs out over the floor as he climbed stiffly to his feet.

"Dean?" He called as he stumbled forward and then righted himself when he kicked something soft on the floor. A slight moan from below him had Sam crashing to his knees as he recognized the unconscious form of his older brother. "Dean!" he cried as he grabbed at the unmoving shoulder. Fear rushing through him as visions of his brother's still from, covered in water and blood on the banks of a river, flooded his mind. Sam gulped and pushed the vivid images away when he heard Dean's pained moan.

"S'mmy…?" Came the almost inaudible reply. Dean's voice was rough and scratchy as he groaned in response to his aching body and the constant pumping pain in his head. He could feel the uncomfortable chill from the wooden floor seeping past his thin sweatpants and the old black t-shirt. It was permeating deep into his bones the longer he laid there on the wood…unmoving.

"Dean? Can…can you get up?" Sam asked quietly. He couldn't lift the nearly 190 lbs of dead weight…he cringed inwardly at his own thoughts…_dead weight…_ "I can't…lift you." Sam whispered in a defeated tone as he watched his brother start to struggle upright, his face pinching as he struggled past the pain. Sam was constantly amazed at Dean ability to compartmentalize his pain. Somehow his brother was able to push it to the back of his mind and accomplish whatever he needed to get done. While this was invaluable on a hunt…it was frustrating at other times…and this was one of those times.

Dean moaned again and pushed himself up on his good arm…allowing his stomach to settle somewhat before he attempted getting to his feet. The smell of the dust from the wooden floor coating the inside of his nose as he sneezed and then immediately curled around the pain that lanced through his head and chest.

"Dean?" Sam asked again. He was trying desperately to keep his own emotions from shining through…at least not until he had dealt with his brother.

"I'm…just getting my…bearings Sammy…chill." He said. But there was no heat in his tone or anger in his voice…just resignation. Dean swallowed and pushed harder, finally bringing his knees under himself and then Dean blinked very slowly several times before coming all the way to his feet and then sinking slowly onto his bed. The nausea was still rolling just beneath the surface and he wasn't ready to test those limits yet. Thus far he'd managed to keep his meager dinner down…but it was still sending him threatening messages.

Sam huffed and picked himself up and settled next to his brother. "You want me to get dad? Or Bobby?" He knew the moment he'd asked the question and his brother's shoulder stiffened where it touched his…that there was no way in hell that Dean was going to allow him to get anyone else involved.

"No Sam…I'm fine…just give me a minute." Dean said through clenched teeth. He'd wrapped his good arm around his stomach and was trying to breathe through the tightening of his throat. He had to get control of this…he couldn't afford for Sam to see this weaken side of himself. He hated that Sam had seen what he had. It made him feel weak and inferior…and a number of other crappy descriptive terms that would remain _un-thought…_

Sam bit his lower lip in debate as he watched his brother suffer through in silence. It wasn't fair…their lives were already so messed up and this…it was just one more nail in their coffins.

XXXX

_Two Months Later_

Dean reached down and pulled his brown leather boots into place. He had been relieved when he'd finally been able to get rid of his 'blue-suede-shoes' and return to his sturdy work boots. The doctor had wanted him to wear the less-than-desirable- 'shoes' a little while longer but Dean had flat out refused and then to prove it…he'd pushed his still tingling soles into his leather boots…and then stared triumphantly at the rolling eyes of Dr. Thompson. His back had healed as much as it was likely to, it didn't hurt so much anymore, but he still refused to walk around without at least a t-shirt on at all times. He didn't want Sam to be reminded of the injury and how he'd come by it. The ribs still twinged painfully when he breathed too deeply or if he managed to twist just right…but it was getting better every day.

Dean had been able to pass off his collapse that first night to exhaustion and lack of sleep compiled with pain meds…that he wasn't really taking…but Sam didn't need to know that. He had managed to convince his _girl_ of a little brother, that he was fine and he just needed to get some rest and that would take care of the unfortunately vertigo. While Sam had looked unconvinced, he'd nodded slowly and then helped Dean to bathroom. Dean knew that he shouldn't lie to Sammy like that…that if the situation was reversed that he'd be livid if he found out his little brother had been lying to him. But this wasn't about Sammy's feelings…this was about keeping up a front…showing that Dean could still take care of his little brother…despite his detour into the backwoods. He had something to prove…and he knew it.

Sam's own rehab was finished and he was able to move his shoulder at close to 95 percent mobility…Dean was about that far along on his own shoulder…although his head was another matter entirely.

The headaches had gotten worse…particularly in the last several weeks…he wasn't sure why they were still plaguing him, but was very careful to keep the pained faces from the others. If he started to feel the unquestionable nausea course through his system, he'd make and excuse and head for the bathroom…where more likely than not, he'd lose everything he'd eaten that day. His weight was suffering some as a result of that nasty little side-effect. Sam would throw worried glances in his direction when he'd excuse himself and make a beeline for Bobby's bathroom. He'd already had to tighten his belt…he was going to have to eat more pie or something and then hope that he could keep the calories down.

Dean had yet to mention the increasing severity of the headaches…on a few occasions he'd been unable to hide them from Sam…those days sucked out loud. He would have to make his way back to their shared room and hide in the darkened corner, where his bed sat, and suffer as the migraine pounded around inside his skull. He knew that he was supposed to tell the doctor about these types of things…but he couldn't quite bring himself to voice the problem.

Sam was too smart not to know that something was going on with his overly silent older brother…but since he had started school a few weeks ago it had been easier for Dean to hide the growing problem.

Currently he was sitting quietly in Bobby's kitchen nursing a cup of black coffee and scrolling through the headlines of the local papers. The old kitchen was like Bobby…relatively clean…if a bit crowded and dated in its furnishings. But to Dean it felt like home…always had…other than the Impala. Which he'd been careful to avoid driving since he didn't want to have an 'episode' while behind the wheel; something told him that he was going to have to spill the beans sooner or later to his doctor…he just hoped it was as late as possible.

Their father hadn't been around since that first night. By the time Sam and Dean had trudged sleepily down the stairs in search of the source of the awesome smells wafting up to their room…John was gone. Not that Dean had been surprised by that…it wasn't unusual for his father to drop in for a few days and then take off for months at a time. John had called them at least once a week, sometimes more, to check up their progress and let them know he was okay and roughly where he was in the country. The fact that neither of the boys could help him was weighing heavily on Dean as he flipped over to the next article on the screen. The more he allowed himself to delve into the ever widening pool of guilt the worse he felt over all. So now he was trying to find something to occupy his mind…a hunt. Bobby would be please by that. The old man had been trying to get him involved in something for the last three weeks, but Dean had insisted that he would do the research and he'd let Bobby know if he found anything promising close by.

His tired gaze flickered as he heard a noise that indicated he was no longer alone. Sam trudged through the archway near the stairs and grunted a 'mornin…' before immediately pouring himself a mug of coffee. He'd be turning sixteen in a few months and Dean felt his heart pull at the thought that the little brother that he'd all but raised was becoming an adult. He already looked it…Sam had gained another inch in height and was rapidly approaching Dean's own height of six feet. He was still lanky and had yet to put on any real muscle other than the strong sinew that had been developed over years of running and training in fighting techniques. All in all…Sam was growing up into a very capable looking hunter. The only issue that Dean still had was that the kid didn't seem all that interested in hunting.

That had been especially true after the encounter with the camp…and Dean's subsequent torture. Sam had pulled further and further from the 'family business' as Dean like to call it. He'd buried himself in school and books, always arguing with Dean about training…whereas before Dean's little sojourn…Sam had been the one to remind Dean on occasion that they had yet to fulfill their training quota for the day.

Dean sighed as Sam sank into the chair across from him and eyed him over the rim of his cracked mug.

"What are you up to today?" Sam asked as he stood up again to put some toast in the toaster and snake a piece of bacon off the platter that Bobby had left out for them. Dean just tilted his head and shot an irritated look in his brother's direction.

"What do you think I'm up? Fixing cars, healing up, ya know the family curse." He said with derision. Dean was so bored that he wanted to scream or punch something…but he knew that he was lashing out and it wasn't exactly Sam's fault that his head hurt like a bitch today.

Sam narrowed his eyes and bit back the smart ass retort that popped into his head. He knew his brother well enough to know what _this_ was. Dean hated being sick…he hated being sidelined…but be hurt _and_ sidelined? That made him a walking ball of anger and frustration and Sam was the perfect target for all that pent up ire. And Sam was sick of being a target, so he stayed quiet. His toast popped up and he grabbed some butter from the fridge spreading a generous amount over the dried bread and then sank into the chair he'd already claimed. His gaze drifted to the clock above the sink, he had about an hour before he had to be at school.

"Can you give me a ride?" Sam asked quietly. Dean always gave him a ride…but Sam didn't want it to feel like he was taking advantage of his brother's time…so he always asked.

Dean grunted an affirmative and then turned back to the computer screen.

"What are you looking at?" Sam asked conversationally.

Dean rolled his eyes and then glanced up at the genuinely interested expression on his little brother's face. He sighed dramatically and then turned the screen so that Sam could see the article that had caught his interest. "These people all disappeared from the same stretch of road…all within the third week in October. And none of them have ever been seen or heard from again."

Sam carefully set his mug down and then turned to face Dean, an incredulous expression fluttering across his eyes. "That's sounds a little familiar…doesn't it Dean?"

Dean felt the icy fingers of a chill tremble up his spine. He forced down the underlying fear and put on his best 'it so doesn't matter Sammy' face. "Not really…" he lied easily.

Sam gaped at him and bit his lip as he watched his brother slam the great-wall-of-Dean firmly into place. He had never figured out how his brother did that…just shut down all emotion…at least the ones that showed on his face or in his eyes. Somehow Dean was able to do it with pain as well…it was a skill that Sam had never really learned. His brother could do it without any thought at all…but Sam had to lie through his teeth…and generally Dean could see right through his lie. As he looked at his brother, Sam was surprised to see the deep almost purple shadows beneath Dean's green eyes. It made them appear almost luminescent in the bright morning sunlight of Bobby's pale white kitchen.

"Yeah…right." Sam muttered as he rose to his feet and went in search of his backpack.

Dean watched his brother walk out on him and he pulled his eyebrows together in frustration. It didn't seem to matter what he did…he just kept pushing his little brother further away. But there were some burdens that he couldn't place on his brother's shoulders…and fear? That was at the top of the list.

The soft ringing of his phone had Dean leaning across the table to answer the little silver phone.

"Hello?"

"Dean Winchester?" A masculine voice asked quickly.

Dean swallowed as he recognized the origin of the number. Dr. Thompson's office… "This is Dean." He waited for the proverbial shoe to drop and smash his head in the process. He winced at the analogy…anything that involved 'smashing his head' needed to be off limits.

"Dean…your last brain scan…we need to talk about the results." The doctor said evenly.

Dean felt the instantaneous panic lurch through his stomach and the light thrum in his head increase to a steady thump. "Is everything okay?" he said after a moment of silence.

"No…but we need to talk about this in person."

Dean made the arrangements to meet with the doctor after dropping Sam off at school.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _The hunt will start to reveal itself in the next chapter as well as the results of Dean's brain scan. He will have a difficult decision to make…will he allow Sam to be a part of it? Or will he decide for himself how much his brother knows. Of course, Sam is pretty damn smart…so he might just figure out what's going on without Dean's input. _

_I also wanted to thank everyone that reviewed the first chapter. Guests that I can't PM…thank you for taking the time to tell me what you thought. Specifically…Silent Howler (who says the internet won't let them sign in J ), Candylover665, and the several other guests with no name. Thank you._

**Please Review: Please take the time and let me know what you think of this chapter. It will start getting darker and more angsty in chapter 3.**


	3. 5050 Chance

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response...please continue to let me know what you are thinking..._**

**Chapter Three**

_50/50 Chance_

Dean sat in the waiting room of Dr. Thompson's office, his knee bouncing as the nerves raced through his system, finding a release in his leg. He couldn't stop thinking about all the reasons that he _might_ be here; just what the doctor had planned to tell him. Something that apparently he didn't feel Dean could be told over the phone. That wasn't exactly giving Dean a case of the 'warm and fuzzies'.

He'd dropped Sam off near the front doors of the high school, ignoring the pointed looks his brother kept tossing his way as they drove the few miles to the small school. Dean had swallowed several pain pills, so he could at least concentrate on the road and not the twelve piece brass band screaming inside his head, he was really coming to hate the cymbals…it felt like they were being bashed together with his poor head in between the large brass circles.

"Dean Winchester?" The female receptionist called from the check-in window near the front desk. Her eyes were scanning the few people waiting in the large off-white room…as they finally fell on Dean's hunched visage. "He's ready for you, Dean." She finished, before turning back to whatever she'd been working on prior to being interrupted by the doctor with a request for the next patient.

Dean nodded robotically and pulled in a deep breath, grateful when for once his ribs didn't twitch with pain. Dean pushed the wooden door open and smiled slightly at the man behind the desk. Dr. Thompson was mid-fifties, with greying hair and a pleasant smile. His office always smelled of oatmeal cookies…though Dean had no idea why that was…maybe it was a byproduct of his headaches…smelling weird sweet scents everywhere.

The doctor was smiling now…but it didn't reach his normally jovial brown eyes and that put Dean on immediate alert. He shook the man's hand and sank into the chair on the opposite side of the large oak desk. His eyes flitting around the room, looking at the multiple diplomas and awards that the man had received over a lifetime in medicine; it was impressive.

"Dean…I asked you to come in today, so that we could talk…"

"About the last scan. I know why I'm here, doc." Dean said quickly as he interrupted the guy; his eyes never leaving the steady and determined gaze of the older man across the desk. "So…what's wrong with me now?" He dead panned, a slight smirk inching its way onto his lips.

Dr. Thompson thinned his own lips at Dean's attempt at humor. "A lot…I'm afraid."

Dean stiffened involuntarily at the comment and his smirk died on his lips as he leaned forward to get a better view of the doctor. "What do you mean? Am I gonna die?" His head raced and thoughts of Sam flooded his mind….he couldn't die! He had to be there for Sam…he had to protect Sam…that was his job.

"Well, that's why we're talking privately. No, I don't think you're going to die. I believe that we can correct the problem…but I'm not going to lie to you Dean…it's got about a fifty-fifty shot of success…and that's the best shot I can give you." The doctor narrowed his eyes and then tilted his head as the news reflected out of the slowly panicking wide green eyes of his young patient. He hated having to give this type of news to young patients…ones that haven't had the opportunity to live a life yet…and this kid? He'd already survived so much…he didn't need this type of thing…but the evidence was there…in black and white. The kid needed surgery if he was going to make it to twenty one…and there was no arguing that fact. If they didn't correct this soon, then it could start to affect Dean's lungs and heart…not to mention the headaches had to be nearly killing him.

"What's wrong with me?" Dean asked quietly.

Dr. Thompson sighed and leaned forward placing his elbows on the flat surface of the old desk, his chin coming to rest on his knuckles. "When you took those blows to the head during your incident…" He watched as the kid visibly flinched at his choice of words, he felt bad about that. But how did one approach the subject of torture…carefully. "A small bleed in the occipital lobe went untreated for several days…and I'm afraid it caused some damage to the surrounding tissue…It's not usual, but it does happen sometimes...a tumor has developed inside of that damaged tissue…that's the reason for the headaches…and the vertigo…and probably the constant smell of sweet things…your experiencing...?" The doctor knew that he had hit the nail on the head, when Dean's eyes shot up and connected with his...shock registering clearly on his face.

Dean's mind was reeling…he had a tumor? _What the fuck?!_ How could he keep this from Sam and his father? "I…I don't…understand…" Dean stuttered as he too leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk, staring intently at the doctor. "What do I need…like…surgery or something?"

The doctor's grey head bobbed. "That's the only solution at this point…we need to biopsy the tumor and make sure that it's benign….but because of the nature of its development…I'm fairly sure that it is not malignant…"

Dean's jaw dropped open at even the slightest possibility that he could have cancer…the big-C… "Will I die…if we do the surgery…will I die?" The pain in his head was being compounded by the frantic beating of his racing heart and the rising panic coursing through his system. He allowed his eyes to fall shut as he focused on steadying his breathing, all the while hoping that it would reduce the intense flashing pain behind his eyes.

The man blew out a breath that did nothing to stymy the building panic inside Dean. "I'm not going to lie to you Dean. There's a fifty-fifty chance that you might not make it off that operating table. The location of the clot is sensitive. Where it is sitting is directly next to the neural network that controls systemic reactions and responses…your heart or lungs could stop during the surgery."

Dean felt like he'd been hit…the news rippled through his body and he found it difficult to focus on the rest of the doctor's words. Who would watch Sammy? If he died, who would take on that responsibility? How could he watch his father's stubborn back if he didn't make it through the procedure? Guilt warred with fear as he struggled with an over whelming decision. "When?" He asked quietly.

The doctor raised his eyebrows and then looked away long enough to grab some pamphlets and a schedule off his bookshelf. "I want you to read these Dean…and talk it over with your family…then we can schedule the procedure…sooner is better than later." He stopped talking when he saw the nearly palpable panic explode from the young man's eyes…

"My family?" He whispered.

"Yes Dean. They need to be made aware of the severity of the situation…they will need to be present the day of surgery…and after to help you recover." His voice was warm and supportive, but with an air of authority that Dean wouldn't…no couldn't…argue with…it sounded too much like his father's voice. "I can give you a couple of weeks to decide Dean…but keep in mind that we need to do this as soon as possible…to give you the best chance of a full and quick recovery."

Dean's eyes were roving around the office again as he looked everywhere but at the doctor. His slight nod was the only answer that the doctor was going to receive. He wasn't ready to acknowledge this out loud yet. He needed time to discern how he felt about the whole situation…and try to figure out how the hell he was going to tell Sam…or his father for that matter.

XXXX

Sam had needed to go to the library for a couple hours after school, so he'd asked Dean to pick up there at 5pm. His brother's voice had registered as more than a bit 'off' when Sam had called him at lunch. Sam wasn't sure if that had anything to do with the building headaches that _knew_ Dean was suffering from. He'd decided that while he was at the library he'd check out the medical section and see what it had to offer on the subject of 'migraines'. By the time he was done reading, Sam was well and truly worried for his brother. Anything that could create the debilitating pain that he'd seen reflected on occasion from his older brother, when he thought Sam wasn't looking of course, was not a good thing.

There were blood clots, tumors, broken neural pathways, and of course cancer. He'd refused to read about that one…mostly because Sam couldn't accept even in the slightest…that his brother might be dying. Nope, that just wasn't possible. So he'd moved on and read about tumors and blood clots…neither of those options were much better than cancer.

His eyes flickered up to the large clock above the stairs to the first floor, and he sighed as he realized that Dean would be here any minute. He gathered up his research materials and handed back the reference books to the librarian, she smiled at him and took the large dusty books.

"That's some heavy reading." She said.

Sam nodded. "Yeah…trying to get a head on a research project for biology class." He wanted to kick himself…he was getting far too good at lying to the average person. She simply smiled and placed the books on a metal cart behind her. Sam turned and walked slowly toward the stairs, his heart thumping as he considered one of about a thousand things that could be wrong with Dean. And then there was the _small_ problem of getting his martyr of an older brother to actually _tell_ him about it.

Yup, this was going to be a fun evening…

The gleaming black of the classic car was parked along the curb, his brother's form leaning back in the driver's seat…almost like he was taking a nap. His right hand was covering his eyes and there was a pinched look beneath his fingers. Sam grabbed the handle of the passenger door, startling Dean into looking over at him, and threw his backpack into the back seat before settling himself in.

"Hey." Dean said as he started the car.

Sam was once again reminded how 'off' things were, when the radio didn't immediately blare in the silence. He furrowed his eyebrows and then shook his head at the differences that just didn't seem to be going away. "Hey yourself." Sam answered.

"Get everything you needed there geek boy?" Dean said as he pulled out onto the blacktop.

"Think so." Sam said cryptically. He looked out the window at the passing houses and small yards with white-picket fences and sighed. That was what he wanted for both himself and his brother…the 'normal' life…a safe life.

Dean had caught his sighed breath and raised an eyebrow as he glanced over at Sam's silence. "Well do tell me everything or anything…wouldn't want you to ruin the surprise."

Sam's eyes flashed back to Dean's with a hint of irritation. He immediately tamped it down when he saw the sight humor in Dean's gaze and small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, sorry. Just didn't think you'd be interested in what I'm working on in school."

Dean tilted his head and nodded slightly. "Well, I am…interested, I mean." He said evenly.

"Okay…" Sam proceeded to explain something about a history project involving the local history…Dean wasn't really listening. He was just enjoying the sound of Sam's chattering voice as he drove. He wondered if he was going to get to hear Sam when he was older…when he would be talking about life and not just what happened in high school. He prayed silently to any of the hundreds of deities he knew of that he would be…around.

They pulled into Bobby's and Sam's worry ratcheted up another notch as he noticed that Dean was just nodding and grunting in appropriate places while _he_ did all the talking. "Dean…." He asked quietly once his brother had turned off the car.

Dean glanced over at him, his wall in place to hide what he was thinking or feeling… "Yeah, Sam?"

Sam inhaled and then trudged forward. "Please tell me what's going with you?" His voice was slight and breathy as he all but begged his brother to _talk_ to him. "Please Dean…I know everything's not okay…" His eyes immediately shifted into _wounded puppy mode_ and Dean sighed as he ran a frustrated hand down his face.

"Sam…" He drawled. But his brother just shook his head and placed a gentle hand on Dean's forearm.

"Please…" he said again. He saw the moment his older brother's resolve broke…the moment Dean's shoulders sagged as though the weight of the world was crushing him. Dean wouldn't look at him as he started to talk.

"My head…I have to have…surgery." He decided that he would tell Sam about the procedure…just not the level of risk involved with it. His little brother didn't need to know that there was a good chance…at least fifty percent…that he wouldn't make it through. _Nope…I am not burdening Sammy with that…_ He decided firmly.

"Surgery…on your brain? Seriously?! Is it serious?" Sam asked quickly. His eyes widening in surprise and touched with fear as he started picturing the worst possible scenarios. His breathing picked up speed and he wondered if Dean had told their father yet…or even how long he'd known that he was sick? "Have you told dad?"

Dean blew a breath and then shook his head 'no'. "Not just yet Sam…I'll call him later this week…" _Or maybe next week…or maybe never…and I'll either be dead (so he can't kill me) or I'll already be recovered._ The thoughts were rampaging through his skull at lightning speed…how could he protect his family from himself?

XXXX

Dean had retired to their shared room quickly after walking inside the kitchen…for once he was grateful that Bobby wasn't anywhere around at the moment. He needed some time…and Sam didn't seem too inclined to give him any. His brother had followed him around like a puppy until Dean had finally snapped at him to 'Don't you have homework or something?' Sam's head had dropped and his shoulders slumped as he'd trudged off to the living room to work on the assigned work for the week.

The middle Winchester flopped onto his bed, throwing his arm over his eyes in an attempt to alleviate the pulsing behind his eyes.

_A twelve year old Dean held an eight year old Sam tightly as their father raced toward the hospital. He and Sammy had been messing around (jumping on the motel beds, even after being told to stop by their irritated father) and Sam had fallen between the crevice between them. He'd caught his left arm in just such a manner that it had not only broken…but also created a compound fracture…the white of the bone protruding from his small forearm. _

_Dean felt like the worst brother on the entire planet. He'd been so caught up in playing with his brother that he'd neglected to take care of him… now Sammy had a busted arm…and the blood…oh God the blood. His stomach twisted in regret and guilt to a point that he wondered if he needed to ask his father to stop the car. But as Sam mumbled a soft sob against his chest he choked back the bile and held Sam tighter. "It's okay Sammy…we're almost there…they're gonna take good care of you…fix that arm right up." Dean assured his brother._

_Sam nodded slightly against his shoulder and then turned huge watery ocean colored eyes up at his brother. "It hurts…Dean…" _

_Dean felt his own eyes burn with unshed tears at those lost words…he gulped back his own emotions and held Sam tighter. "I know buddy…but it's going to be okay…I promise…"_

_Sam hiccupped against him again. "You promise?" he said softly._

_Dean felt his chest clench even tighter. "Yeah…Sammy. I promise…would I lie to you?"_

TBC…

**Author's Note: ** _Uh…so the angst got the best of me in this chapter. The hunt is going to fall between now and Dean's surgery…so pretty quickly. I figured that Dean would have to tell Sam about the surgery…but that he would only ever tell Sam as much as he absolutely had to. As far as John goes…well you'll just have to wait and see how he finds out. Thanks to all people that reviewed the last chapter,__Candylover665_ and any others I can't PM and especially those I did. Thank you. P.S. This is NOT a death-fic. Just thought you guys should know. :)

**Please Review: I know its angsty and full of emotional hills and valleys…action picks up next chapter. Promise.**


	4. Dean and his Backup

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response.._**

**Chapter Four**

_Dean and his Backup_

Dean was pulled awake by the soft pitter patter of rain hitting their large window, the single paned glass doing little to hide the noise. It wasn't exactly unpleasant, there was a soft rumbling outside that indicated a storm off in the distance. Dean had always liked the thunder and lightning that came along with a good rain storm...but he didn't like to be woke up by it. He groaned as he looked over at the blinking green digital display of the small alarm clock 4:43am…he rolled his eyes and sat up slowly, bringing a hand up to pinch at the bridge of his nose. _So...I guess I'm up then..._He thought in slight irritation. Dean shifted his legs out from beneath the warm comforter...how had that gotten there...? he wondered silently as his stocking clad feet hit the floor…he realized, almost immediately, that he was still fully dressed, with the exception of his boots…_which Sam must have removed before going to bed himself._

His tired gaze flickered over to where his little brother's soft breathing was even and relaxed…he was obviously still asleep and unlikely to wake up in the near future. Dean stood and then closed the few feet between their beds; he reached out to gently pull the strands of long dark hair from across Sam's face. His heart clenched at even the _thought_ that he wouldn't get to see the kind of man Sammy would become. His brother was strong and knew what he wanted…and he went after it with a kind of single-minded energy that, Dean, sometimes wished he possessed, outside of hunting that is. He pulled in a long slow breath and pulled his hand back when Sam twitched and shifted in his sleep.

"Go back to sleep, Sammy…" Dean whispered. He watched as the lines on his little brother's forehead smoothed out again and he slipped back into the world of the sandman.

Dean carefully navigated the death-trap that Bobby insisted was actually a staircase and flipped on the light in the kitchen. He went about getting something to drink, coffee…since he didn't want to be out of it when he was forced to talk to Bobby about his upcoming surgery. While he didn't want to bother his father with it, Dean knew that he would _have_ to tell Bobby…after all they were living with the guy. It wasn't like he could hide the fact that a doctor wanted to cut open his melon and dig around for while with a spoon. He grunted at the analogy…it sounded about right…not at all what he wanted to think about at the moment.

He listened as the coffee brewed and decided that rather than sit here and feel sorry for himself…he should get some research done on the disappearances he'd told Sam about, so he turned on the monitor of the computer. The coffee maker beeped behind him, letting him know that it was finished. Dean pulled his tired body up and headed over to pour himself a mug full of the bitter black liquid that was as much a staple in his diet as pie. He was grateful that his headache was minimal so far this morning…he hoped that today would be a good day. One of the few where his head didn't start to pound in a painful rhythm that was echoed by his heart..and always by late afternoon. His eyes narrowed as he started reading through the articles again.

The disappearances…always in pairs…no specific age range, although most of them seemed to be between the ages of 25-40. The couple didn't need to be an actual 'couple', just two people…generally travelling through the area. The last pair to disappear was set of twins…_Ah…twins…_his mind shifted for only a moment before he pulled it back and started reading again. 'Ugh…male…twins.' That wasn't nearly as appealing to think about…

Dean continued to read, he was so engrossed in the stories that he failed to hear the soft pad of a set of feet. "Dean?" Bobby asked as he eyed what was left of the coffee, wondering if there was enough for a full mug. "What are you doing up boy?"

Somehow Bobby always had a way of making Dean feel all of twelve years old when he called him _that_…like he'd done something wrong. Dean knew it was just how Bobby talked and some days it would bring a slight quirk to his lips…like today. "I could ask you the same thing old man." Dean quipped and watched as Bobby narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in a reproving manner at the comment.

"Hummm…well okay." Bobby said easily as he poured the last of the coffee into his own mug and set about making a new pot. He guessed that they weren't up for the same reasons, but it didn't appear as though either of them would be getting back to bed again tonight. "How are you feeling today?"

Dean raised a sandy blonde eyebrow and then rolled his eyes. "I'm okay today…doesn't hurt too bad." He shifted and rolled his shoulders in an attempt to alleviate the stiffness that had settled in as he sat in the hard wooden chair at the table. "Fell asleep pretty early…so I guess I get to wake up early too."

Bobby listened and his shrewd eyes looked for signs that Dean might be having nightmares…and just not telling _him_ about them. He didn't see that _look_ in the kids eyes today…so for that small miracle, he was grateful. He caught a subtle shift in Dean as he started an internal debate that Bobby had seen a million times. It always happened when Dean had something important to say…something that he didn't _want_ to talk about. It usually involved something about himself, but Bobby knew him well enough to recognize the signs.

"Alright….spill it Dean. What's going on?" Bobby said as he set his mug down and stared pointedly at the nineteen year old. This boy was as close to a son as he was ever going to get...him and Sam…and he'd be damned if the kid couldn't feel like he could trust Bobby with anything he might have on his mind. Especially when it could put _that_ _look_ on Dean's face.

Dean groaned and stopped clicking the keys on the keyboard as his guarded eyes slowly raised to meet Bobby's genuinely concerned gaze. He bit at his lower lip in frustration and his leg started to bounce as his nerves searched for an outlet. "I'm not sure where to start Bobby." He said after a minute.

"How about you start at the beginning?" Bobby suggested as he leaned back in his chair and waited patiently for the kid to talk.

"I had a meeting today...well yesterday...with Dr. Thompson…" Dean started. His eyes maintaining a forward glare as he tried not to look at the other man when he shifted forward in his chair and set his own mug on the cluttered table.

"And…?" He prompted.

Dean sighed loudly and then closed his eyes as the weight of this decision and the potential ramifications washed over him. "My head…." He snorted, although there was no humor in his voice when he started speaking again. "What's going on with it…it's not normal Bobby. I have to have surgery to fix the headaches…" His voice drifted off as he finally looked over at the older man, his gaze worried.

Bobby's face was open and supportive as he listened. He hid his fear and the rapidly rising panic that he had for this kid as he carefully schooled his features into one of acceptance and support. Dean wasn't the only one that had an emotional wall. "Okay…how serious is the surgery?" That was where he saw Dean started to _spin_ the story. "Truth Dean." He said as soon as he saw the tell tale signs of the lies building behind the kids words. Dean gaped at him and then looked down at his hands…Bobby had always been able to read him better than any other person they'd ever met. Even his father fell for Dean's cool suave exterior when he laid it on thick enough…but not Bobby…he'd always seen through Dean's shit.

"I have…a tumor…it's in a bad spot…I got like a fifty percent chance of making it off the table." Dean was now staring blatantly at Bobby's reaction. He wanted to know how the older man would handle this news…because he was going to have to be Sam's support if things went wrong…because as much as Dean knew their father loved them…he couldn't be _that_ for Sammy. He was chewing on his thumbnail in anticipation as he watched the news surprise the older man sitting across from him.

"A tumor? How?" Bobby said quietly.

Dean shrugged and took another drink of his coffee. "I guess there was some bleeding during my…camp experience…and when it wasn't taken care of immediately…it caused some damage to the surrounding tissue…voilà…not-so-instant-tumor."

Bobby shook his head and exhaled as his hand scrubbed down his own face and he tried to accept this shitty turn of events. "Does Sam know?" He finally asked.

Dean nodded. "He knows enough…"

"And your daddy? He know _anything_?" Bobby already knew the answer to the question. Dean wouldn't tell his father anything that could shift his focus from the hunt at hand. Dean would rather be long dead and cold in the ground before he'd do anything that would make his father vulnerable. The slight shake of Dean's head was simply a confirmation of what he already knew. "Okay…Dean we need to tell your father about this…he would want to know…he has a right to know...Hell, he'll be pissed as cat in tub of water if we keep this from him."

It was Dean's turn to sigh. "I know Bobby. But can we wait…for a couple of weeks. I gotta set up the date for the surgery before the end of the month anyways…can we tell him then?" He turned hopeful wide eyes in his friend's direction. "Please?" he said again…softer this time.

"Fine. Does Sam know how serious this surgery is?" He blew out a breath of complete frustration when again Dean shook his head 'no'. "Why not Dean? He deserves to know about this, that kid would be lost without you…we need to tell him."

Dean's head was flying back and forth so quickly that Bobby wouldn't have been surprised if the damn thing had ripped right of Dean's shoulders and flown across the room. "NO! Sam's knows I have surgery…I don't want him more upset than he's already going to be. Please Bobby…promise me…promise me you won't tell him…you can't." He pleaded, his voice getting higher with his rising concern and taking on a panicked quality that Bobby had rarely heard before.

Bobby's face went through a myriad of emotions before finally settling into one of compromise. He was lucky that Dean had told _him_ as much as he had…plus he knew that the kid had trusted him with a huge secret by telling him exactly how severe things were getting for him. I wasn't like Bobby didn't already know that. He'd seen the days when the middle Winchester had to excuse himself from the dinner table and run to the bathroom…he'd seen those times when the kid could hardly function as the headaches debilitated him and sent him racing for the empty acrid silence of his room. Bobby couldn't imagine the turn that both Sam and John's lives would take if Dean died…Jesus…_he_ couldn't imagine his own life without the inappropriate ball of energy that represented the kid.

He finally nodded slowly. Dean visibly relaxed when he saw the older man smile and nod in agreement.

"Okay…so now that that's settled….I think there's a hunt two towns over. Couples…meaning two people couples, not the married kind…they keep disappearing along a stretch of road on Highway 30. It happens every third week in October and the two people are never heard from again. So far I have tracked it back for the last 10 years…what do you think?" Dean said.

Bobby raised his eyebrows and leaned forward so he could see the article Dean was reading. "Sounds like a good bet…that it's our kind of thing." He perused the information for a minute before offering his opinion. "Sounds like it's either a ritual of some kind…or a ghost."

Dean snorted. "Yeah…that was pretty the direction I was headed with this too."

"Do you think you should be looking for a hunt right now?" Bobby knew the instant the question was out it was the exact wrong thing to say. Dean's face hardened and he turned icy green eyes in Bobby's direction.

"You think I can't handle it?" He said. The anger was there right on the surface, but Bobby was skilled enough with navigating Dean's constant mood changes that he recognized the hurt and betrayal that was just below the choppy waves of rolling anger.

"No…that's not what I meant…I just can't help but wonder if we should wait until after the doc takes care of your head." He was very careful how he approached the subject.

Dean groaned and dropped back against the chair. "This is why I didn't want anyone to know. Look Bobby, the third week starts Monday and if we don't do something two more innocent people are going to die. I can't have that on my conscience…not when I could have done something about it. I can't live with that…and I sure as hell can't _die_ with that." His voice dropped to a whisper as he stared intently at the other man.

Bobby felt like a heel…he hadn't meant to call Dean's ability as a hunter into question. The kid had the makings of one of the best damn hunter's that Bobby had ever known. Of course it helped that he'd been doing it since the age of four… "That's not what I meant Dean…and I get it. Saving the innocents…I get it. I just…I worry about you, that's all. Uh…promise you'll at least take Sam with you?"

Dean gulped…that was the last thing that he wanted to do…take Sam. Not that he questioned his little brother's skills…they were good, Hell, they were awesome. But he didn't want Sam around if something happened with his head while on this hunt. He was just starting to shake his head, when Bobby interrupted him.

"Either you take your brother for backup…or I call your father and spill the beans about this whole mess." Bobby didn't like using John's presence as a bargaining chip…but he also knew that it was the one thing that Dean wouldn't fight.

Dean sputtered for a moment and then finally nodded his agreement to this really 'shady deal' that his friend had offered. He'd rather have Bobby tagging along if he had to take someone. "Why can't you come with me?"

"I have a gig this weekend, I promised Pastor Jim I would help with a Rugaroo in Wisconsin. He can't go after the thing alone…and I've killed them before." Bobby wished like hell he could go with the boys…but this was important and if they didn't take care of it…then innocent people would die there too.

"Fine." Dean finally grumbled.

XXXX

Sam was staring out the window of the Impala as Dean drove. He watched silently as the trees flashed past them in a flurry of autumn colors…it was going to snow soon…he could read it in the air. Dean had filled him in on the possible hunt, so now they were headed out to take a look at the actual site of the disappearances. He'd argued with his older brother until he was blue in the face, but Dean had flat out refused to involve their father…in fact he'd threatened Sam that if _he_ called their dad…then Dean was going on this hunt _alone._ _Stupid Winchester pride_…Sam thought with irritation. Dean had scheduled the surgery for a week and half out…and Sam was just a walking bundle of nerves as the days ticked away...he needed something to take his mind off it too...so he'd agreed to keep silent.

Today was one of Dean's few good days. He had woke up with only a slight knocking inside his head, so he'd told Sam that they were going to check out the stretch of road. Sam had reluctantly agreed. Bobby had taken off that morning to help out Pastor Jim, so it was just the two of the in the house for the remainder of the weekend. Sam had a huge assignment due in government class…but there was not a chance in Hell, that he was going to let Dean go out alone. Not after the last time.

"So…what do we know about this stretch of highway?" He asked conversationally. Sam hated that it was now up to him to break the silences that reigned supreme between them.

Dean shrugged. "Well, we know people are disappearing on it…" He dead panned and then glanced over at Sam with a slight smirk on his face. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head at his brother's attempt at humor.

"Okay. What _else_ do we know?" His eyes caught the glint of brass as Dean shifted and the amulet he always wore reflected the early afternoon sun. Sam couldn't help the warm feeling that washed over him as he took in that one symbol of their relationship. He'd given that to Dean several Christmas's ago…and his older brother had never taken the thing off in all the intervening years.

"Well, so far the last two people to go missing was a set of twins…" Sam's eyes darted his way and Dean chuckled. "Male…twins Sammy…I already checked."

Sam stared at him open mouthed and then shook his head slowly. "Okay…"

Dean's gaze shifted back to the road. "Apparently at exactly mile marker 65 there was an accident ten years ago. Two friends that were travelling across the country hit a guy that was hitch hiking, the guy died instantly…the two kids, they were both ejected from the car after they swerved to try and miss him…one died on impact and the other died several days later in the ER. Either way…I think we got ourselves at least one pissed off spirit…maybe more."

Sam mulled over the information, his brain dissecting it for all the ways this hunt could go wrong. People disappearing in pairs…he glanced at Dean again…_check._ Young people disappearing in pairs…_double check. Damn I hate when the victims are a mirror image of us._

They had just passed mile marker 63 when Dean started to slow down, pulling off into a turnout near the edge of the road. He looked over at Sam and smiled. "Ready?" He asked. Sam gave him an incredulous look and finally nodded before climbing out of the car and heading toward the trunk. Dean lifted the false bottom and revealed the cache of weapons that had been stowed inside the car for as long as Sam could remember. He looked up as the Sun dropped over the mountain's tip and the light shifted into that of late afternoon. "Well, let's go get ourselves a ghost Sammy…" Dean said with a smile as he handed his brother both the homemade EMF meter and one of the sawed off rock salt guns.

Sam found he was again shaking his head at his older brother…but this time at Dean's ingenuity…he'd taken an old Walkman and turned it into a ghost reading instrument. That was pretty damn talented if he did say so himself. Sam had always known that Dean was way smarter than he gave himself credit for. In fact Sam was pretty sure that the only reason that his brother had dropped out was because he had gotten bored in school…not because he wasn't smart enough to complete it. A small part of him wondered just where they would be if their mother hadn't died…if they'd both grown up in the usual manner…school, friends…college. Dean probably would have done something with cars…the guy was a genius under the hood.

"Earth to Sam…?" Dean called after he'd started to walk away and realized that his brother wasn't following him. Dean was stomping on his fear of the dark forest with all his inner strength...he was not going to let what had happened to him scare him away from a hunt...just because it happened to be in a _forest._

"Wh…what?" Sam stuttered as he turned and jogged the distance between them.

"You done day dreaming? Can we go ghost hunting now?" Dean asked with a twinkle in his eye. This was what _he_ wanted out of life…he wanted to hunt evil things…and he wanted his little brother there with him…backing him up…his ultimate wingman.

Neither Winchester saw the flicker of something inside the trees further up the road from where they were parked…and because they missed that…neither of them saw the other flicker just behind them either.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _So I promised a hunt…here you go. Thanks so much to anyone that took the time to read and/or review this story so far. Your comments have been so inspiring that I find that I keep sitting down and writing on this story…when I have 4 others that are in desperate need of attention as well. Thank you to all 'guest' reviewers, Ed, Effy, and any other's that don't have a name to put here._

**Please Review: I use the feedback to write, so please continue letting me know what you think.**


	5. Winchester Luck vs The Unknown

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response.._**

**Chapter 5**

_Winchester Luck vs. the Unknown_

Dean was currently kicking himself mentally…hard. He'd somehow managed to get separated from Sam and now he was trudging through the rapidly darkening forest calling his brother's name. His head was pounding and he wanted to go throw up in the bushes…but not until he found Sam…there'd be time for puking later…right now he _had_ to find his floppy haired 'can-stay-by-my-side' brother.

"SAM!" He called again. His green eyes flashing in several directions as he twisted and avoided tripping over a root that he'd missed. Catching his balance before he went face first into the mud, Dean managed to right himself as an unnatural wind suddenly picked up and he was spinning without any control over his body.

"You shouldn't be here." A voice whispered through the whirling buzz that sounded more like the propellers of a helicopter than a natural force of nature. _Oh great, now the forest itself is telling me that I shouldn't go camping…that's just fricken awesome._ He thought in irritation.

"Dean!" He heard Sam calling desperately as his eyes landed on the sprinting form of his lanky little brother.

"You shouldn't be here…." The voice said again and Dean pulled in a worried breath. He hadn't been tracking where he was going as he'd searched frantically for his lost brother…and now as he looked around fear invaded his mind as he realized that they were alone in the forest. And he had no clue where they were or how they got back to the road. That and the small fact that his head was starting to make him a little dizzy the more longer he spun in circles.

"Sam! Are you okay?" Dean gasped, the winds dies almost instantly and he stomped his fear back into its dark little corner. He raised worried eyes at Sam as he looked carefully over his brother, searching for any injuries. "What happened to you?" He asked when he noticed that Sam's jeans were ripped and that was definitely blood on his knees.

"I fell…freaking mud…and tree roots…" Sam grumbled. "Are you okay, Dean?" Sam's eyes flickered up and he sighed in relief when he didn't see anything wrong with his older brother. He wondered if Dean was suffering from a headache…he kept looking around at nothing, his eyes wide and unsure.

Dean's fingers lifted and pinched at the bridge of his nose as he pulled in a long slow breath. "Yeah…headache."

Sam nodded, a part of his was kicking himself for allowing Dean to talk him into coming out here in the first place. He'd known it was a bad idea…but Dean had a way of talking Sam into stupid things. "Okay…I think we need to head back to the car and we can try again tomorrow." He was just stepping toward his brother when something shoved him, hard, from behind and he fell forward landing sprawled out on the cold muddy ground. His gun shooting forward out his hands and slipping through the mud to rest at the feet of something that was flickering in and out of his vision. "What the hell?" Sam cried. His brother spun around and brought his own weapon up; firing off two rounds of shells…they flew right through the flicker and hit the trunk of the tree on the other side.

"Son of a bitch…not a spirit Sam." He called as his anxiety amped up. Dean reached for his pistol…before he was able to gain a hold on the handgun he was thrown into another tree, the air whooshing out of his lungs as he hit the solid object.

"I see that Dean…" Sam drawled as he picked himself up just in time to see his brother get thrown like a rag doll into a tree. Dean's limbs flying out in all directions as they flailed violently in several directions at once. "DEAN!" He cried loudly as he stared in shock at the flicker on the other side of the clearing. As it moved he was instantly aware that there was no way that this had ever been a problem with a spirit…how had Dean missed that? How had _he_ missed it? Yeah, the signs made it look like maybe…but the constant loss of two people for the last ten years in the same stretch of land…well it pointed to a…_No…there's no way…_Sam's thoughts warred with his rational side. But as he looked around the clearing he and Dean had accidentally found themselves in he groaned and his fear for their safety went through the fricken roof.

"Dean…?! Are you okay?" Sam asked as he pulled himself upright and rushed quickly to his brother's side. The instant he saw the blood on the side of Dean's temple he panicked. "Dean…come on…Dean…wake up…we gotta get the hell out of here." He said as he gently pushed at his brother's shoulder. His gaze kept pulling back to the now solid individual that was standing on the edge of the clearing…near a cave. _ Okay, that really makes no sense…I don't remember seeing a cave there a moment ago._ His thoughts were shifting rapidly as he tried to get his brother up and keep an eye on the figure looking at them.

"Mmmphhhh…" Dean groaned and then his hands flew to his head as a sharp cry of pain ripped its way up his throat. "Sammm…." He said through the clenched teeth and the white hot agony of his head. He wondered if he could chop the damn thing off…maybe that would help him…because he couldn't deal with this much longer. He opened his eyes and waited for the world to stop spinning and come into focus…nausea whirled in his gut and he swallowed to keep from retching all over his little brother's worried form…or his shoes.

"Dean…we _need_ to go." Sam said again, never taking his eyes off the figure that watched them from the trees. The figures right arm was starting to glow and Sam's eyes widened even further as he started roughly pulling his brother to his feet. He ignored his brother's sharp protests and got Dean up onto unsteady feet.

"Sam…what the hell is it?" Dean finally managed as he stared at the figure…its arm starting to elongate and Dean's eyes widened as he recognized the distinct outline of a claw…it was forming out of what used to be a regular old human arm. The beast thrust out and a ball of flaming red light was lobbed in their direction. "SAM!" Dean cried as he grabbed desperately onto his little brother's shoulders and spun him away from the ball. The flames slammed into his back and Dean cried out in pain as the clothing surrounding the impact point immediately burst into flames and the liquid fire incinerated a hole between his shoulder blades. His cry of alert changed to one of agony as his knees folded and he went down in front of Sam.

"No! Dean!" He cried. Sam stared at his brother and then up at the being that was slowly advancing across the square…its left hand now glowing and starting to stretch in a mirror image of the right. "Stop…we're not here for any of it…" Sam cried as the tears burned their way down his face. The creature stopped and stretched to its full height…which was well over at least seven feet…at least it appeared that way from where Sam was standing. It tilted its hooded head and then looked at the burned figure at the young man's feet, finally reaching up to push the hood back.

Sam was taken aback when a female face stared at him with slitted yellow eyes. "You don't want what it mine?" It asked in a low sultry tone. She had long flaming red hair and snow white skin…in fact she might have been the most beautiful woman that Sam had ever seen. He shook his head frantically and then dropped his eyes to his brother's burned and bloodied back…that reality pulled him back to the problem at hand. How to keep this monster from burning them alive?

"No…we just wanted to stop the killings. That's all…I swear." Sam stuttered as she stepped forward and closed the few feet separating them.

"If that's true…" She reached out and placed a very human hand on the side of his face…it felt weird…like she was probing around inside his head or something. She stepped back and nodded before leaning down to perform the same action on Dean. Sam started to protest but cut it off when her yellow eyes flashed up to his. "I will be the judge of that…"

She removed her long fingers from his brother's pale face and stood before addressing Sam again. "He has a lot pain…and anguish…he has much to make up for…or so _he_ believes."

Sam was just about to interrupt her and tell her that 'she' was a large reason for the _pain_ part…but a pointed look from beneath the fringe of her hair silenced him immediately. "Your brother is sick Sam Winchester…and I do not hunt the sick or the weak. Take him and leave…do not come back…I will not give you a second chance." She turned and her form shifted again, large leathery wings unfolded from beneath her cloak and with one powerful flap she was gone…and Sam was left to deal with the agonized form of his brother.

Dean groaned as he tried to think around both the pain in his back and the pounding in his head. Sam leaned down and gently placed his hands on the edges of the burn on his older brothers shoulder blades…it was about the size of basketball and the outer rim was charred black. The smell made Sam turn for a moment when he couldn't control his stomach any longer and his lunch made a second appearance…it wasn't nearly as appetizing coming up as it had been going down.

"S'mmy…" Dean groaned as he rolled and tried to pull himself to his feet. His eyes rolling as pain thrashed through his system and he panted as he tried to control his body.

Sam scrambled to his feet and knelt next to the shaking form of his brother. "Dean…we need to get you to a hospital."

"That'd be…good…mor'phine…" Dean said through his labored breaths. He was trying desperate to not allow his over active brain to send him into convulsions as he kept picturing the white hot iron rods that the doctor at the camp had used to close his wounds. The ones that Kale had left him with…a constant reminder of what he'd suffered at the hands of mere humans.

One good thing about burns…? They only hurt like hell for a few moments and then the seared nerve endings refused to send anything along the neural connection between them and the brain. Although, it could be because his head was killing him and the pulsing pounding electricity that was frying his brain wasn't leaving much left for other pain receptors.

"Stop joking Dean…that thing could come back…we have to get out of here…think you can walk?" Sam's eyes were scanning the sky for the return of the beast as he talked to his brother. He reached down and carefully hooked his forearms beneath Dean's armpits and hauled. A cry of distress from his brother had him slamming his eyes shut and gulping back tears as he continued to haul until Dean was mostly on his feet.

"Wha…what was…it…?" He asked in an attempt to try and take his mind off the pain.

Sam narrowed his eyes and started to move toward the path he'd come in on… "I…I'm not exactly sure Dean…something we haven't seen before…something I didn't even think existed." He said quietly.

Dean glared at him when his answer didn't reveal anything new to the older Winchester. "That's so…not helpful…" He grumbled. Sam had wrapped his arm over his own shoulder and was supporting much of Dean's substantial weight as they trudged back through the darkening tree line.

"Sam…I think…we should…stop…" Dean managed around the pain in his head. He was having a difficult time keeping his feet under him and he could feel his strength flagging the longer Sam tried to haul him out of this situation. Sam's arm tightened around his waist and he looked over at his brother's pleading tone. It made his heart hurt at the sight of Dean trying so hard to be strong…when it was painfully obvious to Sam that his brother was hurting.

"Dean…we're not prepared to stay out here for the night, man…besides don't you _hate_ camping?" Sam tried to lighten the situation with humor, but his smile died on his lips when Dean turned agonized eyes in his direction. The rubbery legs that had been supporting him choosing that moment to fail and causing him to drop to his knees. The sudden drop was so unexpected by Sam that he wasn't able to stop Dean's rapid descent and his arm pulled across the burn on Dean's back. His brother cried out as Sam felt the sleeve of his jacket slide up Dean's back and his grip loosened causing the middle Winchester to slip from his knees to his ass in the mud.

"Dean…I'm so sorry…look I'm going to get us out of here…okay…but you gotta keep pushing…come on man…I can't do this alone Dean…please." The tears were now streaming unchecked down Sam's face as he knelt in front of his brother. "Come on…Dean…I can't do this without you. And I'm not leaving you…so just stop thinking it." Sam finished firmly.

"Wasn't….think…ing…anything…S'mmy..." Dean stammered. His vision was blurry, but he could see the tear tracks on Sam's face and it killed him that he was the cause. He swallowed his own self-loathing and struggled to get his pain under control enough to haul himself back to his knees. He looked up into Sam's determined, if worried, face and nodded. "Help…me…?" he asked, holding his arm out and gritting his teeth when Sam grabbed it and hauled him the rest of the way up. "Do you…know where we…are?"

Sam nodded. "About half a mile from the car." His little brother bit his lip and then stared in wonder at the determination he saw on his older brother's face.

"K…let's go." He whispered. Dean's arm was wrapped tightly around his middle and he was hunched over, but he was putting one foot in front of the other…and that was more than Sam had hoped for.

Forty-five minutes and an ass-load of cuss words later…Sam nearly sagged with relief when the black of the Impala's outline came into view. He was sweating and he was cold...and Dean was barely even conscious anymore…yet he was somehow still stumbling along beside Sam. His head bowed and his body shaking with either pain or exhaustion…_probably both…_Sam thought silently. "See Dean…there's the car…just a few more steps and then you can rest."

Dean never even lifted his head, he simply nodded and slowly moved along beside Sam…an unseen hole tripped him a few steps later and Dean's body tilted forward as consciousness finally left him. He collapsed, Sam just barely able to stop his head from smashing into the asphalt. "No! No…no…no Dean…not now…we're so close." Sam gently laid Dean down and reached to feel for the thump of his heartbeat…he was gratified to feel the faster than normal beating of his brother'a heart against his fingers as they pressed into the soft flesh of Dean's neck. "Okay…think Sam…" He pulled in a ragged breath and slowly pulled his brother up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry.

He grunted as he heaved Dean's dead weight. "No. More. Pie. Dean." He said in a stuttered voice to no one in particular as he squatted and shifted his brother into position. Sam had helped carry his brother plenty of times, like when he'd been hurt after hunting a Wendigo in northern Wisconsin. Sam had been left to 'guard' the car as his father and brother had taken off into the woods. Hours later his father appeared at the edge of the trail, a limping Dean leaning heavily against his side. Sam had jumped from the car and taken over trying to support his brother when he noticed his father's own limp and head wound. But in all the times that Sam had help support Dean…he'd never done it when Dean had been completely unconscious. And now as he took on the full 'dead' weight of his brother…Sam understood that Dean always tried to carry more of his weight than Sam. He had never leaned completely on his little brother for either physical support…and certainly not for emotional support.

Just as he was setting Dean against the car a sudden rise in the wind had him spinning to see the cause…there behind him was the beast. She watched with a raised head and narrowed yellow eyes as Sam pulled open the door and quickly pushed Dean's body onto the back seat. "We're leaving…what else do you want?!" Sam screamed at the woman. She arched one elegant eyebrow and folded her arms over her chest.

"I see it in your head Sam Winchester…you plan on coming back…to hunt me…I would suggest that you rethink that." Her gaze shifted to the unconscious form of the other human. "He can't afford to lose you…and mark my words…if you come back…I _will _kill you…you don't understand what's at stake here." Her hand flickered up and gestured toward Dean again. "And I'll finish what I started with him." And then she was gone…just like that…there one minute and gone the next.

Sam's mouth was hanging open in astonishment…he'd never been personally threatened by the supernatural before…and he'd certainly never had anyone threaten his brother. An unnatural rage built inside Sam as he stared at the empty air where she'd been only moments before. _You're not getting away with that…you bitch! You can't just threaten to kill my brother and walk away…or fly…whichever._ His thoughts were spinning out of control…the soft moan from the back seat had him racing back and jumping into the driver's seat. His hands cranking the engine of the classic car and then quickly turning back toward Sioux Falls and the hospital that was waiting for Dean.

"Hang on big brother….I've got you." Sam said when Dean moaned in pain.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Whumpage alert. Dean's just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. This new beasty is unlike anything that the brothers or any other hunter has faced. It's not over yet…but now there is hurt Dean to deal with along with the surgery…and then we'll see how Sam deals with this new threat to his family. Is he like Dean? Will he sacrifice whatever he has to…to keep them safe? Thanks again to all reviewers both named and guest alike. You keep motivating me._

**Please Review: I'm so interested to see what you guys think of this new monster. So much fun developing her…er' it…uh…whatever it is.**


	6. A Dream or Reality

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in, Isa-just-me, jojospn, Cecile. I appreciate it so much._**

**I'm sorry it has taken to post the next chapter, my computer got a virus and had to go to the doctor.**

**Chapter 6**

_A Dream or Reality_

Sam pulled into the emergency lane of the hospital and ran around to the back door of the car, his heart racing when he saw that Dean was still completely unconscious. How was it that he kept ending up trying to save his brother several times in just the last few weeks…never in his entire life had Sam had to be the _grownup_. And he was discovering that he didn't really like the strings that came with that _title._ He gently hauled Dean up and out of the car, pulling him over his shoulders and walking as quickly as he could through the automatic doors. Instantly he was surrounded by a multitude of nurses trying to take stock of his brother. The instant they saw the charred skin on his back they had a gurney in there and were helping to lay Dean out...on his stomach.

Dr. Thompson came around a corner and stopped dead in his tracks when he recognized Sam sitting in the waiting area. Sam's eyes were glazed and he wasn't really paying attention to anything going on around him. He crossed the white tile floors and placed a gentle hand on the kid's shoulders, he was a bit surprised when Sam nearly jumped out his seat.

"Dr. Thompson…?" Sam asked as he consciously slowed his rapid breathing and swallowed thickly, shifting in his chair to cover up his nerves.

"Sam…what are you doing here? Dean's surgery isn't for a week." The doctor sat in the chair next to Sam and looked at him with a simple but concerned look on his face. He watched as the kid's composure started to crack and Sam turned worried blue-green eyes in his direction.

"Dean…he got hurt." His voice was a bit breathy and Sam wasn't sure that he would have even recognized it as his own. "Burned…"

The doctor's eyebrows rose into his hairline and he blew out a long slow breath. "Okay…" He didn't want to worry the kid but he needed to ask if Dean had gotten hit in the head…because that could be a real problem. "Sam…did he take any more hits to his head?" The boy's head tilted a bit so he was looking at the doctor and he nodded slowly. _Damn-it._ He thought.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he fell…there was a pretty deep gash on his temple." Sam said quietly. He was really starting to feel like a horrible brother. "We went camping and then he tripped fell backwards into the campfire, it burned his back pretty badly. But I think he must have hit his head on a rock or something."

The doctor nodded. "Sam…did Dean tell you about this surgery?" The kid nodded an affirmative, so he pushed on…he was wondering how much exactly Dean had told his little brother. "I told him to be careful, that the odds were fifty-fifty as it was…" He stopped talking when Sam's shocked gaze flew up to meet his.

"What?" He said. _Dean only had a fifty percent chance of making it out of that surgery_? "He…he didn't tell me that…" Sam's voice was soft and a bit strained like he was holding back tears…which he probably was. Dr. Thompson shifted in his chair and then looked toward the emergency doors that he knew they would have taken Dean through and then back at the slumped form of the little brother.

"Dean's a strong man, Sam. I need to go see if there was any more damage to his head…but why don't you go wait in my office. There's a tv, you can watch something if you want to…and I'll come find you as soon as I know something. Have you called your father?"

Sam shook his head 'no'…

"You should. We might need to move his surgery up." The doctor patted Sam's knee and stood up, glancing at the nurse to get her attention and then pointing at the youth in front of him.

Sam knew the doctor was right. But he'd promised Dean that he wouldn't bother the man…and yet as he sat there in the hospital, the scents making him nauseas as he thought of the last time he'd been in one, he wondered if that had been a promise he had any chance of keeping. How he'd almost lost his big brother that time and how upset his father had been about Dean's condition. He sighed and pulled his cell phone out dialing his dad's number.

He started to wonder if his dad was going to answer the phone and just as he was about to hit the 'end' button…a deep voice came over the speaker. "Sam? What's wrong?"

Sam wondered how it was that his father seemed to have a sixth sense when things were going wrong in his boy's lives. "It's Dean…"

"What happened Sam? Is your brother okay?" John's voice was tight as he waited for his youngest son to answer him. John moved from his bed to the desk at the motel he was staying in, his fingers carding through his dark hair in frustration. It had been months since he'd actually seen his boys, but he was so close to finding out what the demon wanted_ exactly_ and where it was hiding at.

"No…dad Dean is definitely not…okay." Sam's voice hitched and he blinked several times to clear his watery eyes. "Dad, Dean has to have surgery…and he might not…" Sam broke off as his emotions overwhelmed him and tried to finish.

"What? What do you mean, Sam? Surgery? Are they sure? What the hell has been going on since I left….when?" John was throwing questions at Sam faster than his muzzy brain could answer them.

"Dad! Stop. Can you just…come back…please. I need you…Dean needs you." The youngest Winchester was barely controlling his shattering world…he needed his father's steadying influence…and he knew that while Dean would be pissed that the whole thing had caused the return of their father. He would also be glad to have the man there when the surgery came around…which sounded like it was going to be sooner rather than later.

"Sammy…what happened?" John was careful to keep his voice even and calm in hopes that it would calm down his emotional youngest son. Internally he was a wreck…Dean just couldn't seem to get a break, the kid was a great hunter, but the last several months had taken a toll that no man should have to deal with.

"I…we…we went on a hunt…" Sam stopped as he waited for his father to blow up at him over the phone, he was unsure what to do when he was met with only silence…so he continued. "Looked like a simple salt and burn…but it wasn't…I'm not sure what it was dad…I've never seen anything like it. It threw a fire ball at me…"

Now John did cut off his son… "A fireball?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, dad…a fireball. Dean spun me around and it hit him in the back…he's burned pretty bad. But that's not the worst of it…" Sam knew that his father was going to cut him off again so he pushed forward quickly. "He hit his head…again…they need to move his scheduled surgery forward." His voice finally broke as he tried to figure out how to tell his father that there was a chance that Dean might not come out of surgery. "His chances of not making it are..." He pulled in a breath… "He could die…dad."

John felt his throat close at the thought of losing his son not on a hunt, but on a surgeons table…because of damage caused by _humans_… "Sammy…" He sighed. "I'm on my way. Don't let them do anything that's not absolutely necessary until I get there."

Sam nodded and released a breath he hadn't even realized that he'd been holding.

"We can talk about what you guys were hunting when I get back. I'll be there first thing in the morning…I'm about 15 hours out." John could hear the relief in his son's voice, but he was having a hard time pushing down his concern for his oldest son. That kid was so much like he'd been at that age…minus these last couple of months…Dean was going to need help to get his stride back both as a hunter and just a person…his confidence seemed shaken the last time they'd been together. John determined that he was going to need to stick around a bit this time.

"Okay…thanks dad." Sam said as he hung up the phone. He reached up and pinched at the bridge of his nose and then nodded at the nurse who waived him through the doors and directed him toward the doctor's office.

XXXX

_Dean watched his little brother run across a soccer field. He'd tried to tell Sam that trying out for the team wasn't a good idea. Not that his brother wasn't athletic enough or anything. Just that there was always a good chance that they'd move on before Sam even got to play in their opening game. And Dean hated it when Sam got shafted by their lifestyle. He leaned against the bleaches and pointedly ignored the head cheerleader…who was doing some really interesting things while trying to get his attention. (I'll deal with that later…she's interested...she'll wait.) He thought. _

_Sam waived from the center of the field and Dean smiled and gave Sam a 'princess' type wave…making his little brother scowl and shake his head while rolling his eyes. Dean grinned widely when he saw the irritation on his brother's face…mission accomplished. The coach called all the kids over and then pointed at the locker room. Sam ran toward the benches and grabbed his bag before running up to his sixteen year old brother._

_Dean was grinning as he wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders and ran his knuckles through his little brother's floppy hair. _

_"He said I can come back on Friday for the final tryouts." Sam beamed as he smiled widely, his dimples cutting deep swaths in his cheeks as he nearly vibrated with excitement. _

_"That's great Sammy…" _

_"Maybe dad could even come watch?" Sam said as he walked next to his brother and then threw his bag into the back seat of the chevy. He missed Dean's smile fade somewhat as he tried to figure out how to tell his little brother that their father was more likely to wear a dress than come to any of their school activities. Dean had accepted that a long time ago, but it killed him that Sammy had deal with it too. He would do just about anything to protect Sam from any form of disappointment. And as much as Dean loved and respected the hell out of his father…he hated that the man never made an attempt to be involved in Sam's school stuff. It was important to the kid...so it should be important to their father as well._

_The kid had gotten the lead in a school play last year, and he'd been so excited that he'd barely been able to tell Dean about it…and then they'd moved right before the first performance. His little brother had put in weeks and weeks of work…and no one had ever been able to see him. Sam had spent weeks moping around and Dean had eventually snapped at him and then felt guilty as hell for it._

_Sam deserved all the great and wonderful things that school could afford him…but in this line of work…hunting monster…there wasn't much call for a college education. And that made Dean sad…because he'd never known anyone as bright as his geeky little brother._

Thoughts were swirling in Technicolor inside Dean's head. He kept seeing the monster…or woman…or glowy thing…and it was trying to kill Sam. He'd move to grab his brother, but his hands wouldn't move fast enough and Sam would take the brunt of the fire…and then he was screaming as he watched the fire engulf Sam. Memories of seeing his mother pinned to the ceiling of his brother's nursery would flood an already destroyed mind. The blood dripping from her stomach and the smell of burned flesh invading his nostrils and then it would morph into the damn cement room in the camp. He'd be hanging from the ceiling, his arms extended above his head and his back literally on fire. And the only thought that would race through his mind was that he deserved this…somehow he'd done _something_ to deserve this…and then he would see Sam again...and it would start all over.

_No…Sammy…no…not you too. I already lost mom…I can't lose…you too…_ The painful realization that he'd managed to lose his brother…he'd failed in his mission to protect Sam. It was enough to make him wish that he was back in that room with Kale…and that he'd finished the job he'd started. The pain that was echoing through his head was making him regret even being alive…but not more than the thought that he might have failed.

The constant flickering of his mind made no sense, only the pain as the iron railroad spikes were being pushed into his head, entering through his eyes and trying to exit out the back of his skull…and the white hot agony burning its way along his spine.

Suddenly he wasn't alone any longer, a presence was there…inside his mind with him and as it turned out inside his room. He pulled his destroyed eyelids up and was met with the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. She covered the distance separating them in two smooth long steps, she leaned down and gazed into his eyes as he found he was mesmerized by her soft yellow gaze.

"You were there to stop the ghosts…not to come after what is mine…" It wasn't a question, it was a statement. The woman already had her answer, she reached out and touched Dean on the shoulder, he felt relief spread through his back as the fire eased and only the pain in his head was left. "I do not hunt the sick…but you are not weak Dean Winchester." She tilted her head and her long red hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders as she stared into Dean's wide green eyes. He felt like she was seeing all the way into his soul and whatever she was seeing there…she must have been okay with.

He wasn't sure if he was dreaming…but at least he couldn't feel the pain of his injury to his back anymore. The headache was still there, if somewhat reduced by her presence.

"Why would you help me?" He asked in a rough soft voice. Inching further up the bed as she stood and stepped away from the edge.

She raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

XXXX

Sam walked from the doctor's office toward the room that Dean had been assigned. He stopped when he could suddenly smell something that wasn't quite right for a hospital…brimstone. His gaze dropped and he was immediately scrambling for the handle of Dean's door when he noticed a soft red haze coming through the crack near the base. He threw the door open just in time to see the woman vanish out the large open window.

"Dean!?" Sam called frantically as he ran for his brother side, fearing the worst. He leaned over Dean's body and then his mouth dropped open in disbelief. Deans back was...healed...no recent traces of the fireball burn...the scars from his previous encounter still visible though. The burn from the fire was gone….as he stared at the scarred remains of Dean's back…it was only the damage from his captivity that remained. The damage from the woman in the forest it was completely gone. _Why after threatening both me and him…would she heal him?_ Sam thought silently as he stared in wonder. He had no answers…only questions.

Dean turned toward him, his glassy drugged eyes surprised to find his little brother standing mere inches from his bed. "Sammy? You okay?" He asked quietly. The pain was still there, radiating in his head…but other than the normal headache, he always had, he felt okay. But the scared look on his brother's face had him questioning what had happened.

"Dean…how…what…why was she here?" Sam stuttered as he tried to wrap his head around what he was seeing and what he'd known had been there only hours before.

"She didn't exactly leave a note Sam…" But then his mouth snapped shut as he remembered her words. _I do not hunt the sick. He'd thought it was a dream...apparently not so much._

"Don't be an ass Dean. Why was she here?" Sam said. His voice getting more and more irritated…although not with Dean…just the whole messed up situation. Sam didn't like not knowing what was going on…and this 'one' was confusing the hell out of him.

Dean shrugged, but remained silent.

"Dean, dad's on his way." Sam gulped as he waited for the inevitable explosion from his brother…he didn't have to wait long.

"What the fuck, Sam!" Dean cried and then winced as pain lanced through his skull and he reached up to touch his temples in an attempt to lessen the agony.

"Dean. Don't yell at me. I thought you were dying…the doctor said I needed to call dad…so I did." Sam glared at his brother. "And why didn't you tell me just how bad your head really was? Huh?!" He continued as his anger found momentum in his brother's shocked silence. "How do you think I would have felt if you'd died in surgery Dean and _then_ I found out how dangerous it was? Did that ever occur to your stubborn ass? I would be _broken_, Dean!" Sam finished as his legs finally gave out and he sank into the chair next to Dean's hospital bed. His cheeks jumping as his jaw clenched and unclenched and he struggled to reign in his anger. He wasn't even sure who he was angrier at…Dean for trying to cushion the truth…or himself for believing his pain in the ass 'martyr' of an older brother.

Dean's head sagged against the soft white pillow as the weight of what his little brother was saying finally sank past his _prime directive_. How would _he_ feel if Sam had been sick…possibly dying…and then lied to him about it? Or at the very least not told him the whole truth…it made him sick to his stomach to think of losing Sammy, but the fact that _he_ had put that look of shattered trust on Sam's face…well that just about broke what little resolve he had left.

"I'm sorry Sammy…I never thought of it like that." Dean said quietly. His green eyes wide and glassy as he fought through the increasing stabs of pain in his head and stared at Sam; his wall finally completely down and allowing Sam to see how truly upset he was.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows and then leaned forward, wrapping his brother in a hug and relishing the fact that Dean didn't pull away in pain as his arms folded around his older brother's back. "Dean…I love you…just don't lie to me anymore. Okay?" Sam asked in a soft voice. He felt his brother's head nod against his collarbone.

A sudden spasm wracked Dean's body and he went rigid in Sam's arms…the spasm causing Sam to jump back in surprise...he watched in horror as Dean's eyes rolled back in his head, the whites the only part showing and he collapsed against the pillow again. The seizing muscles clenched tight and making the veins on Dean's neck and arms stand out.

"DEAN!" Sam called helplessly. He scrambled for the door and screamed into the hallway for someone...anyone to help him…and then he turned back to the still seizing form of his brother. "Oh God…Dean…" He whispered as he was shoved out of the way and medical personal invaded the room. Sam sank into a corner and folded his long legs against his chest as fear took control and reason ran and hid in a dark corner somewhere else. _He's going to die…Oh God…He's going to die…_The thought just kept replaying over and over in his head.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _The monster has a purpose here and it wasn't to kill Dean…or even hurt him. What happened in the forest will make sense in the next few chapters as John, Sam, and Bobby work to figure out what she is and what she wants…or doesn't want with Dean. Again, not a death-fic…just working out Dean's injuries and how this new monster fits in. Surgery in the next chapter…and more Dean, Sam, and John…with some awesome Bobby thrown in. Plus some time jumps to expedite the healing process._

**Please Review: I know this is an odd jump for the story. But it is going to somewhere…hang with me.**


	7. Dean's first Cross Road

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in, I appreciate the reviews._**

**Chapter 7**

_Dean's first Cross Road_

Sam watched with something akin to panic as the doctors and nurses worked frantically to stop the rapidly progressing seizure. They were pumping a bunch of different drugs into his brothers IV and Sam felt his panic raising the longer Dean's body bunched, coiled, and hen barely released on the small hospital bed. Sam's head was resting against his arms as they lay folded across his knees, which were currently pulled up against his chest, in an effort to make himself smaller. The tears were leaking steadily from his closed eyes and dropping onto his jeans, only to be absorbed by the thin material.

"Sam?" A deep voice interrupted his thoughts as the doctor waited to see where the boys head was. He appeared to be all over the place and none of those places was here in this hospital room with his older brother. The doctor finally laid a hand gently in Sam's shoulder and then pulled back when the youth shrank away from the contact. "Sam…what happened…?"

Sam finally managed to pull his tortured gaze up and reluctantly met the doctor's concerned brown eyes. It was such a different look from the ones that he and Dean generally got whenever they were in a hospital. Dr. Thompson looked not only genuinely concerned for Dean's health but also for Sam's…and the youngest Winchester just wasn't used to relying on anyone that wasn't…_well either Dean or his father. _Even the faith that he had in Pastor Jim and Bobby was limited to the fact that he would go to them once he'd exhausted used of his family. But as his eyes flickered over to the bed, where they had finally managed to stop the seizure, he knew that they weren't going to be waiting on the surgery and that ultimately, he'd be placing his brother's life in this man's hands.

"He started to seize…I don't know what set it off…I'm sorry." Sam's gaze dropped back to his hands and his brown hair fell forward obscuring his face. It was a practiced move and one that Sam employed a lot with his father. It was frustrating to have to deal with this situation without the man being present…normally Sam would have leaned on Dean…but obviously _that_ wasn't a possibility.

"Sam…" The doctor squatted down and waived off one of the nurses that was trying to get his attention. "What happened to Dean's back…?" He furrowed his eyebrows as he watched for a reaction from the kid. He was surprised when Sam's surprised eyes shot up to meet his questioning gaze.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked quietly. He was careful to school his expression into one of complete shock and bewilderment. He gulped, internally, and thanked his lucky stars that he'd at least mastered this little trick of Dean's. His brother could look someone in the eyes and bald-faced lie to them and make them absolutely certain that he'd told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…_so help me God…_

"His wounds…they're gone Sam. I can't explain that…there are scars…but these appear to be months old, like the ones from his encounter in Alabama." The doctor tilted his head and thinned his lips. He sighed when he saw no recognition flood the boy's eyes and then ran his fingers through his greying hair. He was going to have to table that discussion for the moment; he had bigger things to worry about where Dean was concerned. "Okay…well. Here's the deal Sam…I need to take Dean for a CT scan so that I can determine if that seizure is a precursor to something worse."

Now Sam's blurry blue-green eyes focused entirely on the doctor and widened as fear lanced through his chest. "What do you mean…something worse?" He bit at his lower lip and slowly dropped his knees so that he was sitting Indian style on the floor, his legs folded in front of him. Not exactly relaxed, but not as closed off as he'd been a moment before.

"Well, because you said he hit his head again…and I can see just by the swelling that it was hard enough to cause at least a moderate concussion, there is a possibility of a bleed forming in the brain. If that has happened where the tissue was already damaged and the tumor is sitting…we may need to prep Dean for immediate surgery." He didn't want to scare the kid, _he really didn't_…but looking at how close these two brothers were, he didn't feel that it would be fair to keep Sam in dark about the severity of Dean's current situation.

Sam's mouth dropped open and then snapped shut as he found that he had no words to express his chasm sized guilt. He'd allowed his brother to talk him into going on that stupid hunt…and then that _monster_ had thrown his brother around, burned him, and then _healed_ him…at least partly…_what the hell was I thinking? _Sam thought angrily. And the worst thing was that he had no one to be angry at but himself…he'd done this…he'd allowed this…when was he going to learn to say 'no' to his brother and his empty threats. Although, thinking back, Dean's threat to go on this hunt alone probably hadn't been _that_ empty. His older brother wasn't exactly thinking clearly right now, after all…he'd just been told that he could be dead in as little as two weeks.

So Sam probably shouldn't have surprised by the insistent need on his brother's part to find a hunt. It was probably the only way to get his mind off the upcoming surgery and the possibility that he'd be leaving Sam on his own. That thought had Sam dropping his head into his hands again as the guilt flowed fresh from yet another source. This was quickly becoming the worst damn year of Sam's young life.

"My…father…he's on his way. He wanted to make sure that nothing happened with Dean until he could get here." Sam looked up and saw the sympathetic look on the doctor's face…_He was really starting to hate the sympathetic look doctors give to the families of terminally ill patients…or my case…the maybe terminally ill…_He could feel his anger starting to bubble just below the surface of his guilt.

Dr. Thompson shook his head and sighed as he pulled himself to his feet and reached out to help Sam up as well. Sam stared at the man's hand like it was a snake for a moment, before getting himself up…with the help of the good doctor. "Sam, I'm afraid that if my suspicions are correct, then Dean may not have that long." He watched with a heavy heart as the news landed about how well it could have. The boy's face drained of what little color he had left and his eye's widened as though the doctor had just slapped him. "I'm truly sorry Sam." He finished and then turned as the nurse popped his head back into the room and asked if they were ready to go to radiology.

"Yeah, just give me one more minute Jack." The doctor turned back to Sam. "I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that your brother makes it Sam." And with that he turned and walked out, leaving Sam standing inside a now empty room…the nurse having wheeled his brother out a moment earlier.

Sam felt his knees buckle and he sank back into a kneeling position, his head bowed, like he was praying, and his shoulder shaking with the weight of what he now knew. He might not have an older brother as of this time tomorrow…and he wasn't sure that he would survive that.

XXXX

_Dean found himself standing at a huge cross road. The slight breeze rustling his leather jacket as he looked in each direction with growing interest, on one side he saw an easy path. It was paved in sandstone colored pavement and there were huge green trees and small animals…and frankly it looked like a Disney vacation. And then…his gaze shifted to the other road…it was about as opposite as a road could be…it was covered in deadfall, lightning flashing in the distance, wind was whipping through long-ago dead trees…and worst of all…there was no identifiable pathway. A cliff dropped off on one side of what looked more like a game trail than a path that was meant for a human. _

_Dean's hand came up and ran down his face as he looked at the two paths laid out before him…there was a bench at the apex of the roads…he walked over and slowly sank onto the wooden seat._

_"Ya know…each path will ultimately take you to the same place Dean Winchester." A soft melodic voice, that Dean would have recognized anywhere, said from just to his left. His green eyes snapped up and landed on a tall blonde woman, her soft blue eyes and wide smile something that Dean hadn't thought that he'd ever see again._

_"Mom…" He breathed before he was lunging at the grinning woman and wrapping her in a hug. Dean breathed in the scent of his mother's hair and felt his chest threaten to choke off his air supply. _

_Her arms came to rest around her eldest son. Mary couldn't have been prouder of the man her son had become if she'd had a hand in designing it from the very start. Dean was everything that she'd hoped he would be, he was fiercely protective of his family…almost to a detriment to himself…and he was a strong protector of her youngest son…Sammy. "Dean…" She said in low voice as she leaned away and stared into the eyes that reminded her so much of John that she felt a tear slip down her own cheek. "You've grown so much."_

_Dean snorted. "Well, last time you saw me I was four, mom…that tends to happen." He was grinning like an idiot…he knew that…but he couldn't help it. He'd missed his mother so much in the intervening years that just seeing her was making him feel all of four years old again. _

_Her grin widened further as she heard the sarcastic influence of her husband in her oldest son's choice of words. "You sound like your father." She said easily._

_"That happens too. Mom, where are we? Is this a dream?" He glanced again at the two roads before pulling his gaze back to his mother's face. She had lost some of her smile and glow at the question as she too glanced at the different paths._

_"Dean…you have to make a choice." Her eyes were sincere as she looked at her son. Mary's heart was breaking inside, she wanted nothing more than to take her son with her…to keep him safe from the troubles and the pain that awaited him._

_Dean narrowed his eyes and then stepped back slightly. More to give himself perspective than to move away from his mom. As he watched the pain slip across her visage and then the slightly hesitant smiled that she forced onto her lips…he knew where he was…it was 'The CrossRoads' . The ones between life and death…and for whatever reason Dean was being given a choice. His eyes were pulled back up as a crack of thunder resounded from the darken trail on his right. "A choice, huh?" He said with anger. How could they ask him to make a 'choice' between staying with his mother and going to back to…Sammy._

_That one word had Dean's whole face filling with terror and panic and even the guilt of getting to see their mother was playing into it now. _

_She nodded. " I think you know where you are, Dean." She moved and sank down onto the bench next to her son. "Dean…you are being given a choice. If you choose to come with me…it's over…no more pain…no more hunting…you'll be safe and happy." _

_Dean felt his eyes burn at the description…it sounded wonderful…but what about Sammy? He licked his lips and turned so he was facing his mother more fully. "What happens to Sam?" He watched a myriad of emotions play across her beautiful face…the strongest one being sadness. "Mom…what happens to Sammy…if I stay…is he gonna be okay?" _

_She inhaled slowly and then shook her head 'no'. "No, Dean…Sam will have a…difficult life…and I'm not sure if he will make the right decisions without you there to guide him." Mary hated to doubt the warm and noble heart that she was certain beat within the chest of her youngest boy…but she had seen the two futures…the ones that existed down each of these roads. And as much as she wanted Dean to stay with her…she was secretly hoping that he chose to remain with his little brother. Because the damage that was down the 'Disney' road was far more destructive than anything down the dilapidated looking trail to the right. In fact it was positively Apocalyptic…_

_"What does that mean?" Dean asked quietly._

_"I can't go into details, sweety. Just know that 'you' are the glue to keeps your brother from flying apart at the seams…he just doesn't know that yet." She smiled sadly as she saw the decision etching its way slowly across her son's handsome features...he really had grown into quite the lady killer._

_"How long do I have? Before I have to go?" _

_"A little longer. But not much, Dean. The choice, once made, must be acted upon…it's just the way this cross roads thing works." She pulled him into a hug and stared into his face…memorizing it as it was now…and not as she remembered him as a four year old. "You've become an amazing man Dean…I couldn't be prouder of you. Continue to take care of Sammy…and watch out for John too?" She said as he felt tears burn behind his eyes and he took a shaky breath. He would always watch out for his family, it was encoded in his DNA at this point._

_"I love you, mom….I miss you…so much…and Sammy…he's amazing. You would be so proud." She grinned at him, her own bright blue eyes glistening with unshed tears._

_"I know and I am, Dean." She looked up sadly as another roll of thunder cracked through the air. "It's time." Dean pulled his eyebrow's together as his heart broke at the thought that he'd be leaving his mother._

_"Will I remember? Any of this…will I remember?" He wanted to…oh God did he want to. But she shook her head and he felt like a chunk of his heart had cleaved off and was sitting on the bench between them. He'd though that losing her when he'd been young had been tough…it was a million times worse as an adult…when he understood what that loss meant._

_"No…sweetheart…you won't remember. But I will…and you'll know you have a purpose…and that its Sam….just not why the compulsion is so strong…but you'll be okay." She pulled him against her chest one more time and then with a crack of rolling thunder she was gone and Dean was sitting on a bench in front of only one road…the dark and dangerous looking one. The lightning cracked ominously as he pulled himself up and started carefully picking his way down the nearly impossible to see trail._

_"Love you mom…" He said to the winds as they picked up, his words ripped away on a current of air and he continued to trudge deeper and deeper into the creeping darkness,_

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Hope you guys liked this, I always wondered why Dean was so hell-bent on saving Sam…this is my explanation of that drive…outside of family loyalty. Thanks to everyone that reviewed and took the time to read the newest chapter, I hope this meets with your approval._

**Please Review: They are inspiring every chapter guys…please keep it up…and thank you for the inspiration.**


	8. The Chosen Path

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in, I appreciate the reviews._**

**Chapter 8**

_The Chosen Path_

The doctor looked at the multi-colored CT scan and slowly reached up to run his hand down his tired face. There was indeed another bleed and it was causing more problems with the tumor in the frontal lobe. As it stood right now, if they didn't stop the bleeding, Dean _wouldn't be _waking up…and it wouldn't matter whether or not that damn tumor was removed, the young man would be in a persistent vegetative state for the rest of his natural life. He needed to get Dean into surgery and remove the tumor as quickly as possible and then fix the bleed…that is if the Winchesters wished Dean to remain even semi-lucid for any period of time in the future. Which…on the whole…most people preferred it when their siblings could actually _talk to them_. He was still debating on how to tell Sam about the regressive state that his brother now found himself in. Plus, now it sounded as though the father would be showing up in the near future…another conversation that wouldn't be any fun. He sighed and then took a drink of the coffee that had long since turned cold as he pulled himself up out of the chair and headed down the hallway.

Sam was seated in the uncomfortable plastic chair situated next to Dean's bed, his head resting against his folded arms where they laid crossed on the white covers near his brothers still form. His breathing was even, obviously indicating that the youth had fallen asleep.

"Sam?" Dr. Thompson asked.

Sam shifted and pulled his tired eyes in the direction of the male voice. He looked older than his fifteen years and the doctor shook his head as he looked at the kid's tattered appearance. He was carrying a lot of weight for his family right now. Trying to be strong Dean and their absent father; because the doctor was working so closely with Dean and a past friendship with Bobby, he knew about the type of _job_ that John Winchester had. And he agreed that it was important…But he still couldn't help but feel that this wasn't the right thing to be doing…at least not for these two boys. They deserved a regular life where they weren't being thrown into trees by spirits, healed by the supernatural…or kidnapped and tortured by bat-shit crazy humans.

"Yeah? Is it Dean? Is he okay?" The kid got more animated as he woke up further and his worry for his older brother kicked in full strength. Sam stared at the medical professional, his face reflecting the rising fears that he had for his brother's life…

"Sam…he's okay…at the moment." The doctor sighed and then continued. "But…he needs surgery…now. I am having the OR prepped and we will be taking him into surgery within the hour. I'm sorry but we just can't wait for your father to get here. Dean is legally an adult and he's already signed the necessary forms of approval for this particular surgery…and if I wait…he may never wake up Sam."

Sam's eyes widened marginally as he bit his lower lip and then his gaze flickered over to where his brother laid quietly on the bed. Dean was never this quiet in real life…he was always bustling and moving and this _person…it _just wasn't _Dean._ "Okay…just please…save my brother…" Sam said in a whisper, his eyes never leaving Dean's still form.

"I will do everything I can Sam." The doctor assured the boy and then turned and looked at the door. He made a quick decision and placed a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder and gave a light squeeze of support…and then he left.

Sam was still staring at Dean, his thoughts running a million miles an hour and in a million different directions. The prevalent emotion was fear…fear of losing Dean…fear of this life and what it meant for them…fear that he wouldn't be strong enough to go on without Dean. Sam had never realized just how much he relied on Dean's support, both emotional and physical, and his simple presence in Sam's world. He could deal with them being in different locations, but he couldn't live with the idea of Dean dead…that much he knew.

He watched his brother's even breathing and wondered where things would be with them in a few years. Would they even still be alive? Or would this life take a toll on their family that is actually too high to pay. The down payment had already been significant…the death of their mother. He was simply not _willing_ to pay with his brother's life as well…that price was simply too high.

"Dean…you need to fight." He whispered to his brother's silent form. Sam reached out and gently picked up one of Dean's loose hands and placed it between his own palms. He could feel the heat radiating from his brother's body and it gave Sam a certain sense of calm…it let him know that Dean was still there…still alive…still fighting.

"Sam….we need to take Dean up to surgery now." A male nurse said as he pushed open the door and watched the kid who was talking to the silent form of his only sibling. The nurses had gained a level of respect for the youngest Winchester during the last several days; he'd handled the set back of his brother with a fairly mature attitude, which had surprised many of the older nurses assigned to the ward. That and the fact that they'd all fallen victim to Sam's wounded-puppy-eyes….particularly the older women nurses. It was a talent that Dean had always teased him about…his ability to turn even the most crotchety of women into saintly grandmothers with a single look.

Sam sat up and nodded silently as he laid his brother's hand back against the sheets, arranging it next to his hip. "How long will this surgery take?" He asked quietly. The nurse busied himself disconnecting wires and releasing the brakes on Dean's bed.

He looked over at Sam and shrugged slightly. "I honestly don't know Sam. Depends on what Dr. Thompson finds when he gets in there."

Sam watched silently as Dean was rolled out of the room and he sank heavily into the empty chair next to the spot where the bed had been only moments before. He looked at the empty space and Sam gulped back rising emotions as he saw what his life would look like if Dean didn't make it…_No, I am not going to think about that…_He was not going to admit that the empty space echoed an empty hallow space that was generally taken up by Dean's larger than life presence.

XXXX

_He'd been walking for what felt like forever…his feet hurt, his back was spasming, and his legs were starting to feel like lead…the more times that he had to pick up his feet and put one foot in front of the other…well it was getting down right painful. His green eyes flickered up to the many colors of the threatening skyline as it belched thunder at him and threw lightning bolts across a rapidly darkening cosmos. The trail was every bit as precarious as he'd thought that it would be…and he was tired…so that wasn't helping his mood any bit at all. _

_His mother had told him that he had to navigate the trail to get back to Sammy…but she hadn't really given him any other guidelines. And as he looked at the winding and twisting rabbit's trail he had to follow…he was getting more and more irritated about his lack of knowledge. (What if he never made it back to Sam?) His thoughts were drifting between his memories of his mother and his memories of Sammy and his father…and how they would handle it if he didn't make it back down this trail…not well._

_Sam was strong…and it hurt to think that he might be okay without Dean…he could go to college and maybe have a regular life. But then his mother's words echoed through his mind… "His life will be…difficult…and he may not make the right choices…without you there to guide him." It didn't make sense to him…Sam was the kindest and most honest person that Dean had ever known…how could he ever make a 'bad' decision? He thought out every possible scenario and its outcome…before he committed to a course of action. Dean didn't see that changing at any point in the future…if anything, Sam would probably get more careful and less reckless as he aged._

_Dean tripped over a large root that seemed to come from nowhere, his body plunging forward and causing him to land heavily on his hands and knees. "Son of a bitch!" He said out loud as he pulled himself back to his feet. The sky had opened and began pouring on him almost as soon as he'd started on this fucked up journey and now he was straining to simply keep himself upright in the gathering storm. The mud was pulling relentlessly at his boots and trails of water were leaking into his eyes, making his sight more and more blurry as he struggled to make his way over the quickly darkening trail. _

_A sudden crack had him jumping and swearing loudly as he tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. The rush of something from further up the side of the mountain had his eyes tracking upward desperately seeking the source. His eyes widened in fear and surprise as a wall of mud, water, and (was that a tree?) rushed toward him. Dean spun looking for anything to get a hold of that would prevent him from being washed from the path and down the rocky drop off into an unknown abyss._

_His fingers latched painfully around a small branch that was sticking up out of the mud, just as the slide crashed into his unprotected body. He could feel the rocks pushing painfully past his legs and ripping at the material of his jeans…the icy cold water was lowering his body temperature and he was starting to shake as a result...badly. The mud pressed and pulled as it rushed past him, filling his eyes and cutting off his air supply as it finally closed over his head. His thought shifted to Sam…he had to fight…whatever the cost…he had to get back to the surface. _

_Dean kicked and tried to lunge for the surface just as a large trunk of a tree slogged its way down and slammed into his ribs. Pushing the precious little bit of oxygen that he had from his lungs as pain rocketed through his body. His arm pushed through the viscous material and wrapped around the injured side of his body as he continued to push for the surface. Dean's lungs were burning and his head was starting to ache with the need to breathe. _

"Dean…you need to fight."_ Sam's voice cut through the mire and had Dean straining against the pull of the mud as he sought the surface…and Sam's voice._

_XXXX_

John rushed from his truck into the hospital. He glanced at the map in the waiting area, searching for the ICU wing and then damn-near running toward the room where Sam had told him Dean had been assigned. He hadn't heard anything from his youngest in several hours and his panic was rising with every minute that he couldn't get a hold of his son. He burst from the elevator and then closed the few remaining feet between himself and his boys.

He went to push the door open, his gaze looking through the long glass in the barrier between them…his eyes falling on the slumped form of his youngest son. Sam was curled up in a chair, his head resting on his pulled up knees…he looked…so young. John felt his heart clench in a suddenly painful spasm of emotion as he looked at the vulnerable position.

He'd done this…he'd left his sons to handle something that he couldn't. John had been having a difficult time seeing his boys injured…it had seemed easier to go after the demon alone. To let his boys heal from their latest injuries without his influence. As much as he hated to admit it, Bobby had always been better with his boys. The old man was more patient and understanding than John was…and he allowed the boys to be boys…which was something that John had never mastered. He saw the threats that they would face and the only thing he could think of, most of the time, was how did he make them into warriors? Make them into soldiers…in a war that they did not _enlist_ in.

He gulped and then quietly pushed the door open. Sam's head snapped up and he spun in the chair, nearly losing his balance and toppling to the ground in his haste to see who was coming into Dean's room. "Dad?" He said in surprise.

"Sammy…" John's eyes took in the empty space where he knew Dean's bed should be. "Where's Dean?" Sam looked over his shoulder and then back at his father as tears burned behind his ocean colored eyes.

He pulled in a ragged breath before continuing…never moving from his place on the chair. "They had to take him for surgery…or he was going to…die." It didn't escape John's notice that his son did not launch himself into his father's arms for support this time. Sam had been handling his own emotional upheaval alone for months…and he'd gotten used to it. But it didn't do anything to reduce the desire within his father…the desire to know that his son still needed him…still trusted him…still loved him. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat and then stepped up, pulling the other chair over and sinking into it next to Sam.

"Tell me what's going on Sam…?" He asked.

XXXX

By the time Sam had finished recounting what had happened over the intervening months…John's head was spinning. Dean had been hiding the increasing severity of his headaches from both Sam and Bobby…only giving up the information after he'd been painted into a corner with the threat of death. John had never meant to make his oldest son so secretive that he didn't feel he could rely on his family for support when needed. He'd thought that by making the boys more self-sufficient they'd be better prepared for this life…but now as he looked at the broken face of his youngest son he wasn't so sure that had been a fair decision. He'd had a choice…he chose this life because his wife had been killed by a demon…but his boys? They'd been forced into fighting his crusade…and now as he looked back…perhaps that wasn't exactly fair.

And then there was this _monster_ to consider. Sam had said that she been the one to injure Dean…and send them racing for a hospital…and then she'd shown up…at said hospital…and miraculously…Dean is healed. So had she done it? And if so…why? Monsters never did something for nothing…there was always a price.

John looked at Sam and then back out the window…_what does this woman want? And what type of monster is she anyways?_ The description didn't match anything that he knew of…and he was pretty damn sure that she wouldn't match anything that Bobby had heard of either. So what did that mean? Well, it meant that he couldn't very well kill her…because he didn't know how…or even whether or not she actually deserved to die. While most of the people that knew John thought that he simply killed anything and everything that was supernatural. But that wasn't exactly true…he only killed the things that killed innocents…anything else didn't really concern him.

Sam was lost in his thoughts as the room slowly filled with the rising light of the morning sun. They had had Dean in surgery for over six hours…and his nerves were nearly fried at this point. The arrival of his father had done little to calm the youngest Winchester.

He was still leaning against his legs when the door to Dean's room pushed open and the squeak of the wheels of a bed interrupted his randomly shifting thoughts. He jumped to his feet and swayed slightly as the blood rushed back into his starved muscles.

Sam moved as they rolled Dean back into his spot and reattached the lines of leads of the medical equipment. There was a white bandage wrapped around his head and he was definitely not conscious. Dr. Thompson followed in a few moments later, his brown eyes moving from where Sam stood staring forlornly at his brother, to the father standing against the window.

"John Winchester I presume?" He asked as he walked over and held out his hand.

John shook the doctor's hand quickly. "Yeah…how's Dean?"

Sam's eyes were flitting back and forth between the doctor and his father.

"He made it through surgery. It was touch and go there for a little while…but he's a very strong young man…and his will to survive is equally strong. I was able to remove the tumor and stop the bleed." The doctor sighed and then licked his lips before giving the small family the less than stellar news… "He hasn't regained consciousness yet…and while that is not totally abnormal…it is nor necessarily a good sign at this juncture."

Sam pulled in a breath. "What does that mean?" He stepped over and looked the doctor right in the eyes, his own gaze reflecting both hope and despair simultaneously.

The doctor's gaze moved to the boy and he tilted his head to the side. "It means, Sam that I won't know if the operation was successful…until Dean wakes up." He shifted his eyes to John's worried gaze. "If he wakes up."

TBC…

**Author's Note: **_I know cliff hanger…sorry. Again remember…not a death fiction…don't worry. I don't like those…so I don't write them…there is a point to all the angst and drama. The monster still has a part to play…soo….wait for it. Thanks to everyone that took the time to review and favorite and follow…I am humbled by your support. Thank you._

**Please Review: You have been instrumental in this little fiction…it has kept pulling at my brain because of your overwhelming response.**


	9. Complications of the Mind's Eye

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in, I appreciate the reviews. _**

**_Just a warning...this chalked full of ANGST...so be prepared...don't like...don't read._**

**Chapter 9**

_Complications of the Mind's Eye_

Sam stared at the man as though he'd grown a second head. _If…what the fuck does he mean…if?_ He wanted to shout at the doctor, but his father beat him to it. He'd never been one to sit back and let other's speak for him, but since his father was saying exactly what he himself wanted to…Sam stayed silent.

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? If…Dean's going to be fine right? He made it through the surgery…it was a success…so now he should be fine…right?!" John's voice was picking up both speed and volume as he bombarded the doctor with questions and what he perceived as known _facts_. Sam's eyes were flying rapidly between the two men and his heart was picking up its incessant pounding inside his chest. He wanted the same answers as his father…but he was afraid that they might not be the answers he wanted. And if that was the case then he _didn't _want to know…not if it meant he didn't get his brother back in the same obnoxious condition he had been in before all this crap went down.

"I mean, Mr. Winchester that the surgery was successful…but we won't know if there was other damage until he wakes up and we can talk to him." The doctor didn't like giving bad news…and this case they didn't even know if the news was _bad_. But he wanted to prepare the small family for whatever the outcome might be…promising or otherwise.

Sam sank onto the bed near Dean's feet and watched the interaction between the two men. He had known that Dean was strong enough to make it through the surgery…but a battle inside his own mind? Sam wasn't so sure that Dean could win that one. He leaned down and placed a hesitant hand on his brother's ankle and then sighed when there was no reaction.

His father walked over and pulled a chair out once the doctor had left. John looked at his two sons and felt his heart constrict with unvoiced emotions. He bit at his lower lip and then leaned forward… "Sam?"

Sam's weary eyes connected with his fathers. "Yeah?" John tilted his head and _really_ looked at his youngest boy. Sam had grown several inches since the last time he had taken the time _see_ the kid. But he also looked far older than his fifteen years…and sad…Sam looked so sad.

"Ya know…I remember the day I took Dean to meet you…after you were born." He chuckled and a smile finally reached his eyes as he continued. "He was so excited…he couldn't sit still in the back seat of the Impala. He kept asking when he could go out and play with you…when you'd be ready to throw a ball with him." He raised his hand to touch Sam…and then let it drop without making contact. "But you know what I remember the most?"

Sam looked up and shook his head 'no', his eyes wide as he waited for his father to finish. He almost never talked about what Dean had been like when their mother was still alive…and Sam found that he was craving the information like he craved oxygen.

"He said he was a 'big brother' now…and that he was going to be looking out for you…for the rest of your life." John sighed and ran his hand down his stubbled face. Sam could feel the swell of emotions swirling around inside of him and the love that he had for his brother increasing…_if that was even possible_. "He just wanted to be a big brother Sam…that was the most important thing to Dean…even at four years old…and after fifteen years…that's never changed."

John knew that these were conversations that he'd had with Dean when Sam wasn't around…and he wasn't sure whether or not Dean would want Sam to now…because it might have him feeling guilty…not that he had anything to feel guilty for…but, John thought Sam should know how much Dean loved being his _older _brother.

Sam pulled in a shaky breath and nodded. Dean rarely talked about what life had been like before their mother had died. If it was brought up somehow, he always answered in a very robotic manner…that Sam was sure kept him from dropping into the emotional quagmire that was his brother's guilt complex.

They were interrupted a moment later when the door to the room was quietly pushed open and Bobby stuck his head inside. His truckers cap firmly in place on his head and a very worried expression on his face. "Mind if I interrupt?" He asked as he slipped into the room.

John and Sam shook their heads simultaneously. Bobby grabbed the other chair and pulled it over so that he could see the pale visage of the boy lying in the hospital bed. Bobby had known Dean for the whole of Sam's life…he'd seen _firsthand _the stage where Dean hadn't spoken for almost a year after the death of their mother. He would communicate with Sammy…but that was it…and it hadn't been in words. They had developed their own 'language' and it was one that neither John nor Bobby had been able to decipher. But he'd loved that boy from the moment the freckled, little green-eyed, blonde haired kid had stumbled across his old porch and into his kitchen, following his father like a small shadow.

But as Bobby looked at the silent figure lying in the bed he wondered if Dean would be strong enough to pull himself back this time. He was going to have to fight his demons alone this time and make his way back to both his family and himself without the aid of his support structure. Because that's what Dean's family was for him…a support structure that he relied on heavily.

"How's he doing?" Bobby asked.

John waived his hand at the still body of his oldest son. "We don't know yet. Surgery went well…but he needs to wake up before they'll know for sure how he faired."

Sam's eyes shifted back to Dean's face and he watched for any sign that his brother was coming around…any sign that Dean was coming back from whatever precipice he was teetering on. There was nothing…no movement behind the eyes, no twitch…absolutely nothing.

XXXX

_Dean pushed against the thick mud and he finally managed to break the surface, his lungs burning for oxygen and finally managing to pull it in through his split lips. He gulped the air like it was going to run out if he didn't fill his lungs with the substance. He could hear the thunder pounding overhead and the constant flashing from the various bolts of lightning was washing his world in brilliant white pulses._

_His frantic gaze sought out a branch or something that he could use to pull his aching body from the cold mud that kept trying to suck him down. Finally saw a large clump of bushes just off to his right, he stretched his arms and twisted his fingers around the prickly branches. He swore as they cut into his palms, but he did not release his iron grasp of the plant. He pulled and felt his ribs pop as one separated, he groaned in pain but continued to haul himself until he was finally lying on top of the muddy deluge of water and debris. He wanted to pull in great gasping breaths of air, but his ribs were protesting loudly and with a sort of pattern that seemed similar to his heartbeat. _

_He felt more than heard the voice of his brother…it was floating on the winds that were still rippling through the naked trees. He stared at the sky in confusion…he could feel the presence of his little brother…in the trail, in the wind, and in the mud that he was lying on._

_"Sammy…" he whispered…his hands twitching where they were still wrapped tightly around the thorny branches._

XXXX

John and Bobby had gone for some food and a couple of cups of coffee. They had offered to take Sam…but he had flatly refused. He told his father that he wasn't leaving until he could actually talk to Dean…make sure he was okay.

He was seated back in the chair, his hand resting on Dean's forearm as he tried to let his tired eyes rest…just for a minute. He was jolted up as a twitch ran through Dean's hand. Sam's eyes flew to meet the rapidly moving, but still closed, eyelids of his brother. "Dean?" He asked as he shifted so he was closer to Dean's head. He stared directly into his brother's face and waited…Sam's patience was finally rewarded a few moments later as Dean's eyes flickered and he cracked his lids open…the intense green of his pupils peeking through.

His gaze shifted back and forth for a few moments until they finally crashed into Sam's worried gaze and then they held still….almost like they'd frozen there. "Dean?" Sam asked again. He watched as Dean continued to stare at him, his eyelids blinking owlishly. "Can you understand me?" Sam was getting more and more worried the longer he stared at his brother's silent form. Dean was awake…but he didn't seem to remember Sam…he was just staring out like he didn't quite understand the world as a whole.

Dean never nodded or shook his head…he just stared silently at this person that was staring at _him_ with such a look of loss and concern that he wished he could take it away. There was something so familiar about the face…but whatever it was…he couldn't hang onto his thoughts long enough to figure it out. So he stayed silent.

He wasn't afraid, somehow he _knew_ that this set of worried, soft eyes would try to protect him…would be there for him…_needed_ him. He pulled in a long slow breath and then his eyelids slid shut as exhaustion robbed his body of much needed energy and he slipped back to sleep.

Sam was now in full out panic mode…Dean _didn't_ know him…his eyes had never once shown any sort of recognition. The tears that he'd held at bay since the doctor had returned Dean to this room finally made an appearance. They ran unchecked down his cheeks as he stared at the now sleeping figure of his older brother. He heard voices in the hall and that had his eyes flickering over to the door as his father laughed and pushed it open followed by the scowling form of his friend. "…No they never…" John stopped mid-sentence when he recognized the frantic broken look in his son's eyes.

"Sam, what happened?" He stepped around Sam to see Dean…he was still sleeping. He glanced back at Bobby and then his moved once again to Sam. "Sam?"

Sam gulped back his tears and then swallowed heavily before he sank onto the bed. "He…Dean…he…woke up…" His eyes didn't light up like they should have, so John remained quiet waiting for an explanation. "Dad…Dean didn't seem to…know me…He didn't recognize me." Sam's voice broke and his eyelids slid closed as he tried to cut off his grief.

John looked quickly back at Bobby. "What do you mean, he didn't know you?" He moved closer to the bed and looked down at Dean's quiet form…his son's breathing was easy and even.

Sam shook his head numbly and then looked his father in the eyes. "He didn't know who I was Dad…there was no recognition there…he didn't know who I was…" Sam finally broke and a sob echoed through the room…

John turned and sprinted from the small hospital room, telling the nurses to get that damn doctor down here immediately. He was back moments later and had pulled his son's stiff body into his arms and hugged him for all he was worth. "He's going to be okay Sam…" he said into the top of his son's head where he rested his cheek.

Dr. Thompson walked in a minute later. "You rang?" He said with a tilted head and a hint of irritation…he'd been on duty for the last 35 hours...and frankly he was so tired the plants in his office seemed to have opinions for him. But he'd determined that he wouldn't be leaving this hospital until Dean woke up and he knew that the teen was going to pull through the surgery.

"Dean woke up." John started and moved when the doctor immediately went to the bed and started to writing down things from the many machines that were hooked up to his son. "Sam was the only one here…Dean didn't know him." He looked at the medical professional as though it was his fault that his youngest son was crying in his arms and his oldest didn't recognize them.

The doctor's eyes flashed up to the fathers and then over to the face of his son. "He had no recollection of you?" He had hoped that this wouldn't be a complication…but as he looked at the broken boy who shook his head 'no'…he knew that they hadn't been that lucky. He sighed and then turned to look at the small group in the room. "This surgery…the location is tricky…anything in the frontal lobe can be connected to both the Amygdala and the Hippocampus…both of which are responsible for both sense memory and short term memory. When we removed the tumor, we were forced to go in through this section of the brain…Dean may need to relearn certain things…but his memories of you should come back with time…as they are long-term not short-term."

Sam listened with a sinking heart…his brother would forget certain things? Like what? But as he remembered the blank look in Dean's green eyes he realized that while Dean hadn't seemed to know who he was…he wasn't afraid of Sam. He didn't seem worried about having Sam in his room while he was vulnerable. _So that's a good sign…right?_

"How long?" Sam asked carefully. He extracted himself from his father's arms and stood directly in front of the doctor. "How long will it take before we know exactly what he remembers…or doesn't remember?"

The doctor shrugged. "Sam, it all depends of the person. He's going to have to _want_ to remember and it'll be painful at times. Particularly if he gets a large chunk of memories back all at once. You have to understand that it would be akin to a person that had never been able to see, being bombarded by vision…that's what it'll feel like for him. All these memories that he won't understand will come back all at once…and that could include the ones from his…torture…or even earlier." He watched as that particularly nasty thought worked its way through the tiny group. Three sets of eyes widened and their mouths dropped open in a small 'o', of understanding.

TBC…

**Author's Note****_:_**_ So another twist…but remember that this is set up as a trilogy…so there will be plenty more time to push Dean down the road of recovery. I am writing the next chapter currently and it should be up by the end of Monday…Thanks for the reviews and PM's. It's all working toward a resolution…just not yet._

**Please Review: I know you were expecting Dean to wake up and all would be well, but the frontal lobe is a tricky place for a surgical procedure.**


	10. Conscious Memories

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in, I appreciate the reviews so very much._**

**_Just a warning...this chalked full of ANGST...so be prepared...don't like...don't read._**

**Chapter 10**

_Conscious Memories_

His first sensation was smell…he could smell an almost metallic ring to the air which left a kinda bitter taste in the back of his throat. His eyes were so freakin heavy and the last thing he wanted to do was push them open, but something kept niggling at the back of his mind and forced the action. As his eyelids slid apart he couldn't really make out where he was…it was all white and a bit blurry. He blinked a few times and pushed down the suddenly rising panicked sensation that flooded through his body when his vision started to clear…_Where was Sammy? And his father?_

Dean cast his eyes around an white empty room…but that didn't make any sense. His father would never have left them alone in a hospital…not at their current ages. Sam was only five for crap's sake…and he was nine…so how was it that he was lying in a hospital bed and utterly alone? Dean shifted uncomfortably in the bed and looked down; he was a little surprised that he seemed to be taller than he remembered. He lifted his right hand and looked at the needle that was embedded in the top of his hand…and his hand was _too big_. He heard the door next to his bed open and his eyes flew up to see who was coming in…he assumed that it would be his father…but a lanky youth walked through the door.

The kid was tall and lean and appeared to be around fifteen or sixteen years or age…and as Dean looked closer…he had almond shaped blue-green eyes just like Sammy's.

"Dean!" The kid cried and lurched forward, closing the few feet that still separated them. Dean shrank back into the bed, his eyes wary and suspicious as the kid came to an abrupt halt at the unexpected action. His eyes widened marginally and he tilted his head to the side before pulling in a long slow breath. "Dean? Do you know who I am?" He asked.

Dean's eyes shifted around his room as he stayed pinned against his pillow, his arms folded across his chest in a protective gesture that would have looked more at home on a child than the nineteen year old hunter. He looked at the kid…_really_ looked at him…but no dice…he had no clue who this guy was. _And how does he know my name? _Dean thought as he saw the kid's eyes take on a disappointed and slightly wounded look that reminded him way too much of Sammy.

The kid licked his lips and pulled a chair over, settling into it, before looking back at Dean. "It's me, Dean. Sam…"

A smirk pulled at the corners of Dean's lips…because there was no way in hell that this _guy_ was his little brother Sammy. He shook his head 'no', but didn't say anything as he tried to place the face. The kid reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and blew out a breath as his jaw clenched and unclenched. Dean didn't understand why this _thing_ was trying to convince him that it was _Sammy_…but whatever the reason…he wasn't buying it.

The door pushed open a second time and Dean's eyes flickered over and his mouth dropped open as a small sound of confusion escaped his throat. He saw his father walk in…and he looked…._older_. His gaze flitted back to the kid sitting next to him and Dean could feel the panic building as he stared at these two people. One he _knew_ to be his father and the other that was _claiming _to be his little brother.

"Dean…" John said as soon as he noticed that his son was indeed awake. But the look of utter confusion on his boy's face didn't sit well with the older Winchester. His eyes shifted to Sam and the look of devastation reflected in his youngest son's gaze didn't bode well. "Sam, what's wrong?" He asked.

Dean's eyes darted back to the youth as soon as his father called him 'Sam'…a crease formed in his forehead as he tried to piece together what he was seeing. His mouth was working, but no words were coming out.

"I don't think he recognizes me, dad…" Sam said quietly. His eyes downcast as he avoided looking into the blank expression in his older brother's face. John's own eyes flashed up and connected with Dean's, he could definitely see recognition of _himself_ in his son's face.

"Dean? Do you know me?" John asked. Dean blinked a couple of times and then nodded slowly. "Do you know, Sam?" He continued as he pointed at the kid sitting next to the bed. Dean's eyes moved to Sam's face and he shook his head. "Jesus…" His father said as he scrubbed his hand down his face. How could this possibly get any worse? He sank down on the bed and laid a gentle hand on Dean's shin, he hoped that it was supportive and didn't feel restrictive to the kid. "Dean…you had a head injury…this is Sam…your brother."

Dean's eyes flickered between the two people watching him…he could see something in the kids eyes that looked familiar…and he definitely wasn't afraid of him. But he didn't look like Sam should look…so how could he be Sam? _I had a head injury?_ "Dad?" He said quietly. John nodded and his face crumbled when he saw the confusion wash across Dean's face when he looked over at Sam. "Sammy?"

Sam forced a smile onto his lips and nodded slightly. "Yeah…hey Dean." He said as he was careful to keep his distance and not induce more panic in his brother's face than was already visible. He could see the confusion that was raging inside of Dean as he tried to accept what he was being told versus what he _thought_ to be the truth.

"The injury…it caused a tumor that the doctors had to remove. And…your memory…it was affected." Sam explained. He knew that he should let the doctor explain it, but he couldn't stand the lost look in his brother's eyes. Dean's green gaze flashed to his father's face, looking for confirmation of what he was being told. John inhaled and then nodded. Dean's gaze dropped to his lap and his finger's twisted into the white cotton blanket…but he knew there must be some truth to it…because the kid seated next to his bed _felt_ familiar.

"I don't…recognize you…" Dean said quietly. He brought his face up and looked at _Sam_. "Last time I saw Sammy…he was five years old."

Sam's gaze flashed up his face and he gasped as he twisted to look over at his father. John's face was equally astonished and he was working his jaw like he was chewing gum or something. "Dean…that was ten years ago." Sam said.

Dean looked down at the sheets again and shrugged. "Okay…but that's what I remember…I'm sorry." He said quietly. Sam leaned forward and placed a hand on his brother's fingers, stilling them and causing Dean's eyes to lift and connect to the worried gaze of the kid. He could feel the _connection_ through their hands and while Dean still didn't recognize this person…he certainly felt _at ease_ with him.

"Dean…please don't apologize…this isn't your fault…not any of it." Sam looked over at their father quickly and then back at Dean. "The doctor said that most of your memories should come back with time." Something flickered across Sam's face that Dean didn't understand…he'd looked both sad and terrified for an instant and then it was gone.

"Dean, we're going to help you get better." John said as he squeezed Dean's shin in support.

Dean's face screwed up into a doubtful expression, but he nodded. "Okay…where do we start?"

XXXX

The doctor had released Dean from the hospital just that morning and he was still trying to assess the damage to his own brain. He still didn't recall this new older version of his _little_ brother, but he did remember both his father, although he too looked older, and Bobby…he looked about the same. The doctor had suggested that Dean stay at Bobby's since that would be the most familiar place outside of the Impala and might help to connect his memories again. But as Dean crawled out of the front seat of the Impala, he found that the place didn't seem any different than it had when he'd visited the last time with Sammy. That had been the summer before the kid had started kindergarten.

Sam had been pestering him about school…he'd been so excited to go…while Dean had been apprehensive. He couldn't protect Sam there…and he knew it. But as his gaze swept across the old salvage yard, Dean couldn't help but feel disappointed. He'd been hoping that once he got here that his memories would just _magically_ come back.

He reached up and ran his hand along the small bandage that stretched from just above his left eyebrow, up into his hairline. Dean grimaced when he felt where they'd shaved his hair for the surgical procedure. He hadn't looked in a mirror yet…he was too scared about what he'd see there. While it should be the reflection of a nine year old boy…he knew just by looking down at his body, that that wasn't what he would see.

His legs were too long, his hands too big, and…other parts didn't look at all the same. That was really disturbing to see for the first time. Dean sighed when nothing jogged his memory and he walked around to the trunk pulling out his small plastic bag of belongings. Sam stood just off to the right, waiting to help his brother if he looked like he needed it.

Dean didn't seem to be suffering from headaches, but he wasn't himself either…at least not the _self_ that Sam had known for the last decade. His brother seemed more guarded than Sam could ever remember seeing him and he barely spoke to either Sam or their father. He seemed withdrawn and wasn't saying much of anything to anyone.

It was early evening and Dean was exhausted, he quietly ate his dinner…although nowhere near as much as Sam was used to seeing his brother pack away. He was still trying to wrap his head wound what had happened to him and whether or not he could deal with it. Dean hated that he couldn't remember what had happened to him for the last ten years. He felt as though someone had stolen something important from him…something made him…_well…him._

He wandered up the stairs and past the room that he and Sam had always shared whenever they came to visit Bobby. He walked into the bathroom and gently closed the door behind himself. Dean closed his eyes and then turned to the mirror…he'd known that he'd have to take a look at himself at some point. He leaned against the counter and pulled his eyelids open.

What he saw looking back at him was a tired man, one who seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. His eyes were the same deep forest green that they'd always been, his freckles were still evident on his face…but what caught his attention was how weary his soul looked as it stared at him through the mirror of his eyes. He knew that these eyes had seen a lot more than he'd ever thought possible…they were guarded and suspicious…and didn't appear to belong to the child that he still felt rushing around inside his head. He reached down and pulled up his shirt looking at his chest and his breath caught when he saw the multitude of scars that littered his torso.

"What the hell…?" He said quietly as he stared at the crisscross patterns that decorated his body. He shifted slightly and turned to try and get a look at his back…his breath caught in his throat as he stared at what he could actually see. There were raised jagged red marks that created no particular pattern, but decorated his sides and then those scars seemed to wrap around onto his back. _What the hell happened to me? _He wondered as he dropped his shirt and heard the quiet shuffle of stocking-ed feet outside the bathroom door. He jumped as a hesitant knock echoed through the small bathroom.

"Dean…?" He heard Sam asked from the other side of the door. "Are you okay?"

Dean blew out some air and then blinked a couple times to clear his face of any shock that had been present, before pulling the door open. Sam was standing outside the door, his feet bare of any shoes…_I knew he wasn't wearing any…_and a worried expression on plastered across his expressive face.

"I'm fine Sam." He said quickly. Dean desperately wanted to ask this older version of his brother what had happened to him. But a part of him was afraid to find out….so he remained silent and watchful of those around him.

Sam looked at his brother again and nodded. "Are you sure? You can talk to me Dean." He said quietly.

Dean raised his silent eyes to his brothers and felt an unnaturally strong pull toward this boy…this kid that claimed to be the small child that Dean would gladly give his life up for...and _something clicked into place_.

Pain lanced through Dean's head and his knees gave out as he collapsed to the ground, his hands flying up to grasp at his temples as image after image slammed into his unprepared mind. His teeth clenched together and blood filtered in and he bit his lip on accident. The images were varied and made little sense to Dean…he watched his brother walk into a school, he saw his father wave at them and walk away…it was like watching a movie where the frames were out of sequence.

Dean saw a Christmas tree in a dingy little motel room…he watched his brother cry after he'd explained that _monsters_ were real and that their father fought them. He felt the swell of emotions race through his chest when Sam handed him a small wrapped package…he opened it and an amulet fell into his hands…it was a bronze head attached to a leather cord. Dean saw his brother's look of immense pleasure as he accepted the small gift with an almost surprised humility.

The images continued, he saw their father leave and return from so many different hunts that Dean wasn't able to keep track.

Sam rushed into the bathroom as soon as he recognized Dean was in distress. He grabbed onto his brother to keep him from hitting his head or any other part of his body as he continued to remain trapped inside his own mind. Sam pulled in a ragged breath as he felt his own control flying apart the longer Dean stayed hunched over, his hands clutching at his head. His older brother's breathing was shallow and rapid, but he was conscious…so Sam just stayed with him. He tried to help angle Dean's body against the wall, careful of his head and then slipping his body between the wall and his brother's back.

Sam pulled Dean against his chest and waited for the episode to pass. His own heart breaking as he listened to the confused sounds emanating from deep within his brother's soul. He knew that this was a vulnerable side that his _tough-as-nails_ older brother would never knowingly let him see…and he was immeasurably grateful that he got to witness it…with or without Dean's permission.

Suddenly Dean's body relaxed and he sagged against Sam's chest. His head lolling back and leaning against his little brother's shoulder. "Dean? You okay?" Sam asked quietly.

He felt his brother shift slightly and then he twisted, slowly pulling himself out of Sam's embrace. Dean's green eyes connected with his little brother's and finally Sam saw recognition reflected out of the beloved face.

"Sammy?" Dean asked. There were still holes in his memories…but at least he wasn't seeing a stranger when he looked at his little brother anymore.

"Dean…you okay?" Sam asked again. Dean sat back on his heels and ran his fingers through his hair and nodded. His head was killing him, the pain slicing through his skull like a machete. But at least he could place Sam's face in a timeline that made more sense.

"What happened?" Dean said as he pulled himself shakily to his feet. Sam scrambled to his feet as well and watched as Dean sank down onto the closed lid of the toilet. He leaned forward and place his elbows on his knees and just focused on breathing.

"I think you got some of your memories back?" Sam hazarded a guess.

Dean nodded. "Yeah…that sucked out loud." He said in a rough gravely voice that his brother was more used to hearing. Sam barked a laugh and then a smile split his face for the first time since Dean had had the seizure.

"Uh…yeah. It didn't look too fun." He said evenly as he continued to smile.

"It wasn't…is that gonna happen again?" Dean asked, his gaze travelling up to see his brother's face fall as he nodded. "Mannnn…" Dean whined.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sam?" Dean answered slowly. He was still blinking owlishly as the pain thundered through his head and then had a dance party at the finish line.

"Can I ask…What did you remember?" Sam wanted to know…_no…_he _needed_ to know what Dean had remembered. Did he remember being taken in Alabama? Did he remember the woman in the woods? And most importantly…did he remember Sam telling him he 'hated' him? As much as Sam wanted Dean to go back to being normal…he was kinda hoping that he didn't get that _particularly nasty_ memory back.

XXXX

None of the four men inside the house were aware of the presence as she drifted overhead. Listening to the conversation happening inside the blonde ones consciousness….a head cocked to the side as she struggled to understand the random pattern of thoughts drifting through his head. As his distress lessoned she pulled her own consciousness back into the woods…leaving nothing of her presence to be discovered by the family of hunters.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Dean isn't done with the flashbacks yet…so…more angst in the future and some surprises as well. Thanks to everyone that reviewed and took the time to read the newest chapter. Thanks to the 'guest' reviewers and those I couldn't shoot a PM to._

**Please Review: I absolutely use them as inspiration when writing the next chapters.**


	11. Unwanted Influences

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...thank you for taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._**

**_Just a warning...there is still a fair amount of ANGST in this chapter...so be prepared...don't like...don't read._**

**Chapter 11**

_Unwanted Influences_

Dean sat quietly in the bedroom that he'd stayed in…an unknown number of times growing up. And he found that he was captivated by the weather and was currently staring out the large bay window into the rain. It was supposed to turn to snow later in the evening and he found that he was getting transfixed watching the water drizzle down the glass, creating random patterns as it slid out of view. His head was still bothering him somewhat from his encounter with his less than _kind_ memories the previous day, so he wasn't all that interested in leaving this room.

Sam had wanted him to explain what he'd seen and remembered and yet Dean found that sitting there and recounting how he was feeling…wasn't really something that he was very willing to do. Dean had explained that he understood where the amulet, which he currently wore, tethered around his neck, had come from and couple other things that seemed relevant. As he'd talked, Dean couldn't help but notice that Sam kept staring at him….like he expected Dean to start yelling or something…maybe bitching him out for something….

He had no clue what that reaction had been about, but he definitely wanted to know what Sam _wasn't_ telling him. Because whatever that was…it was weighing heavily on his brother's mind. Dean leaned back against the headboard and listened as the thunder rolled in the distance, his mind flinging itself against the mental barricades still in place inside his own skull.

He shivered as a cold chill raced along his spine and caused him to pull the patch work quilt further up his chest. It was getting colder by the day; he knew that winter was right around the corner…particularly in South Dakota. That also meant that Halloween wasn't that far away…and...wow did that just add a whole new level to the worries that he was dealing with. It was the one holiday that Dean both loved and hated…there were far too many rituals that required that particular day of the year and he wasn't feeling all that confident about their safety this year. But he couldn't place where the unease was stemming from…he only knew he was worried…and that that _felt right._

He could hear his family moving around beneath his room, their muffled voices making their way up and into his self-imposed solitude. Dean wasn't ready to just go downstairs and talk to anyone_, not yet_. He knew that his father and Bobby both wanted to sit down and talk with him…but as he watched the darkened sky outside his room, he found that he was happier just sitting in the room…alone. That alone, should have been a warning sign…because normally Dean never wanted to be alone.

Unfortunately…that didn't apply to Sam. His brother pushed open the door and proceeded to pad over toward the end of Dean's bed sitting down slowly and sighing loudly. He had been waiting for Dean to come downstairs for dinner, but when his older brother failed to make an appearance, Sam decided to seek him out. He set a mug of black coffee next to Dean on the old nightstand.

"Hey…How are you feeling?" He asked. Sam had a million questions that he wanted to ask…but looking at the black circles under his brothers tired eyes, he decided that maybe now wasn't the time. The small smile that graced Dean's pale lips was his version of a silent 'thank you'. _Sam assumed for the coffee._

"Mmmm'O'kay…" Dean said as he picked up the mug and took a sip of the hot black liquid. He squinted at his brother and raised an eyebrow. "Take a picture…it'll last longer…..What do you want, Sam?" The look on his little brother's face was the same one that he always got when he _wanted_ something from Dean.

"What?" Sam asked as he bit at his lower lip. "What do you mean?"

Dean smirked over the rim of his mug. "You know exactly what I mean, Sammy…you only ever ask me something like that when you…" He sighed and set the drink back down, turning to look at his brother more fully, his finger coming up to pinch at the bridge of his nose. "Sammy….I've known you your whole life…you're not exactly difficult to read." Dean leaned back against the head board again. He tilted his head and looked at his brother… "What is it _I_ don't know, Sam?"

Sam sucked in a breath and leaned against the wall, pulling his feet up and tucking his chin into his folded knees. "I just….we got into an argument….a few months ago…and you…I…I said I hated you…but I didn't mean it then…and I don't…hate you…never did…I was being an ass." He sighed and rubbed his cheek against his forearm before continuing. "I don't want you remembering that…and not my apology." He pulled his sorrow filled gaze up and connected with Dean's slightly confused and forgiving expression.

Dean slid forward and touched Sam's knee gently. "Sammy…I don't remember…any of that…but if you said it…" He smiled and bit at his lower lip as he stared at his brother's remorseful face. "I forgave you the moment…you said it bitch…I would never hold…." His body shifted at his face crumpled. "I forgive you Sam…always." Dean said sincerly as he waited for Sam to look up at him.

Sam's gaze shifted up and he looked at his brother through the fringe of his bangs and a smile worked its way onto his face. "...love you…jerk." He said quietly.

Dean snorted. "You're such a girl, Sammy…" But his face was open and sincere; he reached out and pulled his little brother into a hug.

"Hey! You two eating or what?" Their father's voice floated through the air and sliced into the dreaded 'chick-flick' moment, cutting it off before either brother had to figure out how to end the uncomfortable familial display of affection. They weren't exactly a _touch-feely _type of family.

XXXX

"So, do we have any idea what the thing is that the boys found in those woods?" John asked. He watched as his friend shifted behind the large wooden desk and he pulled the bottle of whiskey out, pouring each of them a healthy dose of the stuff. Bobby shrugged and set the bottle of amber colored liquid back on the cluttered desk as he lifted the glass in a 'solute' to the other hunter.

"No…I got no clue what those boys found. I know that it not only injured Dean…but Sam says that it _healed_ him too…so…I got no freakin clue what we're dealing with here. None of it makes a damn bit a sense. The supernatural…aren't exactly concerned with matters of the heart or the body. So why it would even _heal_ Dean….God, I wish I knew." Bobby said before he gulped the alcohol back and reveled in the feel of the burn as it slid easily down his throat. He watched as John Winchester frowned before downing his own drink and then shaking his head in frustration.

Sam had given him the details of the woman in the woods. But nothing that he'd ever heard of had the powers that this monster did. She was obviously guarding something important and somehow…there was a connection between this monster and his oldest son. And that made John _extremely_ nervous. "Bobby, it has a freaky connection with Dean….and we have no idea what that means..." He turned and looked the other man straight in the eyes. "...We _need to know_." He said evenly.

Bobby nodded his agreement. "You think I don't know that?! Okay…look John, I got no clue where to start here." He turned and pulled several books off the shelf behind him dropping them onto the desk with a loud thump. "I got hundreds of books…but none of them talk about this type of being, they don't even hint at this type of creature." He sighed and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the top of the desk and blew out a long breath.

"Figure it out Bobby!" John said in an irritated and clipped tone, causing the older man to throw an angry frustrated glance in his direction.

John raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Look, Bobby...I'm sorry. But some _unknown _creature seems to have developed a supernatural _crush_ on my oldest son…we need to know what the hell we're up against here." He knew that he'd offended his friend, but once John had learned that Dean was going to be okay, after the surgery, he'd switched over into worried father slash hunter mode…and he just couldn't shut it off.

And then there was Sam…John was always worried about his youngest son. He normally pushed down the memories of that horrific night in his youngest son's nursery…all the way to the deep dark depths of his brain…but he was always _aware_ that what had happened in that room was somehow tied to Sam. And he was still trying to piece it together…fifteen years later…and that scared the shit out of him. Because it meant that whatever it was…it didn't want to be uncovered and now there was _another_ supernatural being, that they knew nothing about, that was interested in one of the Winchester boys…and that soooo wasn't okay in John's book.

"Dad?" Dean asked as he came around the corner from the staircase. He looked tired, his eyes glazed and dull from lack of sleep, _and probably the headache of recovery_. He thought silently. The large turbin-like bandage had been removed from around Dean's head, although the stitches and a small white bandage were still firmly in place. Dean's normally spiky blonde hair hadn't started to grow back as of yet, so he was still obviously self-conscious of that fact_. At least that was what John was chalking this new conservative attitude of his son's up to._ He looked over at his father and then wandered into the living room, his eyes downcast as he looked for a place to sit down. He finally settled on an open space on the old red couch.

"Dean?" John prompted. He moved so that he was seated in the chair in front of Bobby's old desk, but in direct eye line of his son. "What's going on?"

Dean licked his lips and shook his head slightly as he tried to decide where to start. He wanted to tell his father about some of his memories returning and he wanted to ask a specific question. He pulled his conflicted gaze up and met the supportive blue eyes of his father. "I got some of my memories back…"

"What? When? …what do you remember?" John interrupted and then immediately regretted it when Dean visibly pulled back into himself.

He was still struggling with the gaps in his memory and he felt more like a kid than the adult that the mirror showed him he actually was. "Sorry Dean…please, go on."

Dean pulled in a breath as he prepared to launch into a description of what he'd experienced. It didn't take long for everything that he recalled to spill out. "Dad…I've told you everything I remember…But I need to know what I am not remembering?" His gaze fell to the multitude of scars that he knew littered his body beneath his black t-shirt. Something very bad had happened to him…and he didn't know what.

Dean was a bit confused...he couldn't figure out why the darkness bothered him…it never had before…not in his entire life had Dean Winchester been scared of the dark. But since he'd gotten out of that hospital, he was walking a tightrope that seemed to be built over a pit of fear that he simply didn't understand.

"I don't remember what happened to me…where did all the scars come from…why can't I close my eyes without seeing a huge raging fire…dad, what the hell happened to me, dad?" Dean pulled up his tear blurred gaze from where it had been resting on the old hardwood floor. His eyes, a bright forest green color, enhanced with the strength of his suppressed emotions and he looked over at his father for an explanation.

Bobby pulled in a silent breath and then quickly excused himself from the room. This was a conversation to be had between father and son…and although he thought of the boy as a _son_…he knew that this was something that John needed to deal with. Both Winchesters waited quietly until Bobby had reached the top of the stairs and there was a soft click as his door shut behind his retreating form.

John turned to look at his eldest son. And he realized looking at the broken face of his boy, that he hadn't really done Dean any favors by making him into a 'small' adult at the age of four. Dean had learned to push all his thoughts and feelings to the back of his mind and deal with whatever was directly in front of him. He had never been able to lean on anyone for emotional support and as John saw that so clearly displayed in his oldest son's face, he was a little bit ashamed of stealing Dean's childhood so blatantly. He shook his head and pushed his self-deprecating feelings back down into the pit of his emotional well as he pulled in a long slow breath and debated on what, exactly, to tell Dean. He didn't want to dredge up any memories that would be too painful, but as he looked at the lost expression in those deep green eyes, he knew that nothing he could tell Dean would be worse than '_the not knowing_'.

John had settled onto the couch next to Dean and was just launching into the story of the camp when a low hum wafted through the house. His eyes were pulled in the direction of the kitchen along with Dean's and they both found themselves on their feet without thinking and moving toward the odd noise…

Sam and Bobby were both stumbling down the stairs and fell into step with the other two Winchesters as the humming increased in both pitch and decibels. "What is it?!" Bobby yelled over the rising din outside the house.

John shook his head and raised his hands to his ears, trying desperately to block out the hum. Dean's eyes were starting to roll back and forth and he was the only one not covering his ears as the sound continued to gain in strength. The four hunters reached the old white door and grabbed one of the many weapons that Bobby kept stashed at every entrance, before bursting out onto the back porch in search of the source of the nearly deafening noise.

There floating above the ground was the creature from the forest, her mouth was open and the scream emitting from her supernatural lungs picked up in pitch yet again. Sam groaned and dropped his weapon in favor of covering his sensitive ears, Dean, still, was the only one not affected by the woman's screech.

"DEAN!" Sam called loudly as he dropped to his knees and pulled his body into a small ball in an attempt to protect himself. Dean turned at the sound of his little brother's distressed cry and his eyes widened at the slowly increasing stream of bright red blood now escaping from beneath Sam's palms.

"SAMMY!" He called desperately and then noticed that both his father and Bobby had also dropped to the knees, their hands covering their ears as well. Dean knew that the sound had to be loud, that much he could tell…but to him it sounded like little more than a far off car with bad brakes.

He turned and his eyes narrowed, in rising anger and fear, at the creature that was attacking his family. She was staring directly at _him_, her mouth open, her skin an unnatural reddish orange and her red hair was spread out like waves of fire behind her head. The winds continued to pulse in their direction and that was when Dean finally noticed the 2 sets of large, almost, clear gossamer wings spreading out behind her. They appeared to be more like those he'd seen on one of the dragonfly's that Sammy had kept in a creepy bug collection when he was little. He didn't understand how she'd even gotten this far onto Bobby's property. The old hunter had almost every ward and protection known to man or God in place surrounding the salvage yard.

"Stop! What do you want!? Please, leave them alone!" Dean cried desperately into the rapidly swirling winds.

She tilted her head to the side and then stretched her arms out as they began, what seemed to be, an elongation process…and suddenly Dean was thrown into the waiting arms of his own lost memories.

"Argh…" he cried as his traitorous knees gave out and he dropped heavily next to his little brother. Sam's eyes flickered to his, pain radiating through the blue-green as he saw Dean's eyes go blank…just the way they had upstairs the previous night. His concern went from an 8 to a 10 for his older brother when he recognized the signs of another _memory-burst_.

"You must remember…Dean Winchester." Her voice echoed through the yard. It was the first time that anyone of them had heard her speak and it left them breathless with the simple power of it.

John's eyes pulled up to meet the woman's unflinching yellowish gaze as she stared directly at his boys. He wanted to get up, he struggled to pull himself to his feet and shoot this _thing_. But he found that he had no strength…no matter how hard he fought…he couldn't rise from his kneeling position. It was like slogging through thick sticky mud, his body no longer obeying the commands of his brain. it was almost like being a prisoner of his own body. As he looked over at Bobby's angry face, he knew instantly that the older man was suffering from the same type of full body paralysis that he was. They were helpless as they watched Dean collapse and his intelligent green eyes went instantly blank when she fully focused her ethereal gaze on John's eldest son.

John could see Sam fighting to get control of himself and he was surprised when Sam was suddenly able to pull his hands away from his ears and grasp ahold of his older brother's shoulders. And then his body went stock still and rigid…like he'd been electrocuted.

The blood that had been running from his ears…stopped, but John and Bobby weren't so fortunate. John tried to scream at his sons, but nothing came out and he could only watch in horror as Sam grabbed Dean's shoulders and then his own gaze took on the same blank quality as his brothers.

_Whatever was happening now included both his sons…and he was fucking helpless to stop it._

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Told you guys she was coming back…and she definitely wants something from Dean. But now she will have to deal with the brother's together. Because we all know that there is nothing those two can't accomplish when they're together. Thanks to all the reviewers, followers, and favorites that caught the last chapter._

**Please Review: For me the reward in writing is knowing that you enjoyed the latest chapter.**


	12. The Creature Inside

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...thank you for taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._**

**_Just a warning...there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read. Probably going to get worse in the next chapter, before it gets better after that._**

**Chapter 12**

_The Creature Inside_

Dean was back in the dense forest…and this time Sam was with him. His thoughts were ranging from intensely worried to angry at being used as a pawn in some supernatural showdown. He didn't understand everything that was happening, but he knew that it couldn't be a good thing that one minute they'd been in Bobby's salvage yard and now they were…_wherever the hell this place is…in the middle of a dark damp forest._

He looked over at his brother, Sam was staring straight ahead…his eyes wide as he tilted his head to the side. The kid's body was stock still and almost rigid as he stared straight ahead.

"Sammy?" Dean asked as he stepped over to his brother and gently turned him around. "You okay?" His forehead furrowed as he looked for a spark of recognition in his brother's blue-green eyes.

Sam's mouth worked, but no sound came out as his gaze shifted to Dean. He swallowed hard and then shifted his eyes again looking in the same direction. Dean turned so that he was staring in the same general direction as his little brother, his own eyes widening at what he saw.

It was _himself_…and _he_ was searching frantically for something…although _Dean_ had no clue what the other-him was searching for. The other-Dean moved with a sense of purpose that had the brother's watching in rapt interest as they stayed still and silent.

_"SAM!" The other-Dean called loudly, his hands coming up to cup his mouth and amplify his call. They watched as Dean continued to search the downed trees and through the rapidly darkening area. A call from off in the distance had each of the boys looking off into the horizon for the owner. Their father rushed into the clearing, his own face radiating fear and concern. There was a very evident undertone of anger in his visage…which seemed to be directed solely at other-Dean._

_"Seriously, Dean…how the hell does a thirteen year old give you the slip? Are you really that easily tricked? Because that could be a real problem if you start to hunt alone." He said through clenched teeth, John was biting back the nastier things that were tumbling through his head…spurred on by his terror for the safety of his youngest son. He was staring pointedly at his eldest son as he waited for a response from the frozen teenager. _

Sam felt his heart drop as he realized what memory this probably was. He cringed internally at the remembered trip he'd taken a few years ago while they'd been on a hunt in Flagstaff, Arizona. For him it had been liberating and proven to him that while he really didn't want to hunt full-time, he could find ways to break up the constant travelling so that it wasn't that intolerable. Hell, he'd even found a stray dog and named him 'Bones' while he'd been there. He'd lived on Fungyons and Cheetos for the two weeks he'd been on his own…and he'd never been happier. The thought of what his leaving would have done to Dean hadn't ever entered the equation. It wasn't until he started running out of money that it occurred to him that he had no way to replenish his stash….which he'd stolen out of the 'secret stash' that he knew Dean kept in the bottom of his duffel bag. He actually felt kinda bad about that…but not enough not to do it.

He hung his head as it suddenly became crystal clear to him what that whole _adventure_ must have done, psychologically, to his big brother. He'd run away when Dean had been left in charge and he'd never considered what that might mean when their father came home and one of his sons missing.

Dean watched the scene in front of him with a confused expression and then he felt the bile rise in the back of his throat as he suddenly understood what he was seeing here.

_Oh God…Sam's doesn't need to see this._ He thought. The painful memories were pushing their way back into his head at lightning speed and he had to force himself to remain on his feet as the pain again sliced through his skull and left him panting. He doubled over as he struggled to maintain some semblance of self-control and immediately felt the soft pressure of Sam's hands on his shoulders. "You okay, Dean?" He asked quietly.

_"Dean, I can't hunt effectively if I'm worrying about Sam's safety the whole time. You have to be more responsible than this…I'm not sure that I've ever been this disappointed with you, son." John said angrily, the words were soft, but sharp…which was so much worse than when he actually yelled. He watched his son's shoulder's sag with each precise cut of his tongue. John knew that the words would hurt worse than any beating he could ever give his oldest son. Dean wasn't the kind of kid that learned from physical confrontation…he was the kind that learned from the harsh reality of words. And John knew that telling Dean he was disappointed in something that Dean'd done…that was about the most severe blow that could be thrown. He didn't want to hurt his son, he really didn't, _but damn-it_; the kid had to be better than this…he had to watch out for his brother…better than this…whether Sam wanted it or not._

Dean felt each word like a dagger straight through his heart. He'd disappointed his father, he'd lost Sam…and now God only knows what was happening to the kid. And he was directly to blame for that. He'd thought that Sam was at the Library, working on some project or something…but when he'd gotten back to the motel, his brother was nowhere to be found. It had had taken Dean calling his father when his fear spiraled out of control for him to even realize that Sam had _left, _that he hadn't been _taken._ And that might have been one of Dean's lowest moments, knowing that his brother had wanted to leave badly enough to simply walk away from _Dean_ as well as this life.

He felt his knees shake, his muscles refusing to accept his weight any longer and he dropped onto the cold wet ground as he struggled to come to terms with that…and to ignore the nausea now spinning violently inside his belly and threatening to throw his lunch all over the dead grass and multi-colored leaves.

_"Dad…" He started quietly. John turned a direct icy stare on his oldest son and shook his head slowly, he didn't want to hear it._

_"Dean, I don't care what the excuse is…the simple fact is…you let this happen. So if something happens to your little brother…it's on you." John watched as Dean recoiled in horror at the words. He stared at his father with panicked eyes and it was obvious to John that he was blinking back the burn of tears; Dean's green eyes always took on an almost other-worldly shade of emerald green when he was upset. John wanted to hug his son and offer some form of comfort. He knew that Dean loved Sam more than anything else in the world, but he found that his anger overrode his need to erase that 'look' from Dean's stricken face. This was a ruthless world that they lived in…and theirs was more deadly than either of these boys understood…they had to be stronger than the average person…and that strength started at home._

Sam couldn't believe what he was seeing, the cold almost savage reaction from his father was nothing less than he would have expected from the man…but as he watched it crumble his brother's generally strong resolve, he found that he wanted to find a deep dark hole and simply crawl into it. How could their father actually _say_ those things to Dean? John would have known how that would affect his oldest son…he would know that it would have destroyed Dean if something actually _had_ happened to Sam. Dean wouldn't have recovered from that…and as Sam watched the past play out in front of them…he realized that as desperate as he'd felt when Dean _had been taken_…that was exactly how desperate his brother had felt when he'd run away. But no one had _forced_ Sam to do anything…he'd done that to his brother on purpose.

"Dean…" he started to say as the _other-Dean_ and their father faded into the shadows of the forest.

Dean was staring at the forest floor; his knees wet from the rain…his shoulders slumped. His whole body radiating pain…but it wasn't physical pain that Sam was seeing at the moment…it was the emotional anguish washing unchecked across Dean's pale face…and somehow…that made it even worse.

XXXX

John came to in a painful rush of sound. His ears picking up the wind whipping violently through the trees that surrounded the salvage yard. He groaned as his head rang and he rolled onto his stomach and started to push himself up right. He reached up and brushed at the now dried blood on the sides of his neck and then looked around for the others. His gaze fell on Bobby's unconscious figure lying several feet from him. The other hunter was just starting to come to…his own groan of pain sounding light and far off in John's still ringing ears.

"Bobby?" He called as he struggled to his feet. John cast his eyes around for his boys and then spun looking for their unconscious forms…when his eyes landed on the empty porch, his fear kicked into overdrive. "DEAN! SAM!" He cried as he stumbled down the stairs and looked into the storm raging off in the distance.

Bobby pulled himself to his own shaky feet and then used the handrail to make his way down to where John was calling into the whirling winds. "John…." He said loudly as he laid a hand on his friends shoulder. Bobby hadn't seen the boys either…and he was more than a little worried, but standing out in the storm calling into the dead of night for them wasn't going to bring them back. They needed to widen their network and start getting ahold of people. Because they still had no idea what they were up against…and now the boys were missing.

XXXX

Dean felt the headache subside somewhat as he was pulled to his feet by an unknown force. His eyes glazed over and he walked in the direction of a call only he could hear. Sam scrambled to stay at his brother's side as they moved deeper into the dark forest. He tried to get Dean's attention, but nothing worked. Dean was phased out to the world as a whole…he was moving without any conscious awareness of his destination.

"Dean? Come on man…you're scaring me…" Sam rambled as they continued to move at a steady pace further and further away from where they'd started. Sam was beginning to recognize the area and his fear amplified when he saw the isolated cave in the same clearing where Dean had been injured the last time they'd been out in the forest. _So at least I know we are still in South Dakota. _Sam thought to himself. He filed the information away for future use.

The woman was again standing outside the mouth of the cave, her face lit by some unnatural light. Sam's eyes widened as Dean continued to move forward until he was standing less than three feet from the creature. He tried to follow his brother, but found that his body was frozen at the edges of the circle and he was physically unable to stay at Dean's side. "DEAN!" He called, hoping to get his brother's attention…but nothing worked.

"You must close it Dean Winchester…" she said; her yellow eyes boring into the human boy standing frozen in front of her.

Sam never saw the flickers on the outskirts of the circle. But he sure as hell felt it as he was slammed back into an enormous tree by an invisible force. The air rushed from his lungs and he felt the skin on his back tear as he slid down the rough bark of the tree and his shirt rode up exposing the sensitive flesh. His cry of pain lanced through whatever hold the creature had over his brother, sanity returned and Dean's eye's flickered in his direction and then widened in sudden realization. He turned from the woman stood unnaturally still and rushed toward Sam, only to find that he was stopped at the edge of the clearing. Where Sam hadn't been able to pass into the circle, Dean now found that he couldn't pass out of it.

"SAM!?" He cried as he flung his body against the barrier, pain lanced through his chest as he slammed into the invisible wall over and over again. Dean's voice turning instantly panicked when his brother's head lolled to the side and Dean could see the distinct red of blood that had to be coming from a head wound. "God-damn-it! Sammy!" He yelled again and then turned furious green eyes on the creature. "Let me the fuck out of here!" He seethed through clenched teeth.

Sam's eyes rolled slightly and he struggled to obey his brother. He tried to pull his gaze up, but found that he was being pressed _into_ the tree trunk. Like one of those crushers did… he'd seen Bobby demolish the old cars inside of the salvage yard with the huge steel presses. "Argh…." The cry was torn from his body as he finally saw what, exactly, was crushing him. The huge form of a misshapen man, both saucer sized hands pressing roughly against Sam's shoulders as his angry face flickered mere inches from Sam's. The man's lips drawn back over broken yellowed teeth and an animalistic rage shining through nearly black irises.

_Vengeful spirits…_ Sam thought with interest before he felt his consciousness slip into the encroaching darkness.

Dean watched in horror as multiple spirits converged on his brother, one of them was the biggest man that Dean had ever seen. He yelled as rage flooded his body and he again flung his shoulder into the barrier…ignoring it when he felt the painful 'pop' of his shoulder slipping out of the socket. White hot fire raced through his body as he bit his lip so hard that he tasted the metallic tang of blood that spilled down his chin. He turned and glared at the creature that was keeping him from getting to Sam with equal parts of rage and terror battling for control over his body. His left arm had come up and was holding onto the dislocated right shoulder as he covered the distance separating himself and the creature.

"For God's sakes…let me help him! He's my brother!" He cried as he looked at the creature. She tilted her head and then narrowed her yellow eyes, no sympathy being reflected out of her pale visage.

"You must close it…Dean Winchester." She said again.

"I don't understand! Close what!?" Dean screamed at the woman and then watched as she shifted and her eyes turned to the cave that she'd been guarding. His gaze flew back to hers and then shifted frantically to where Sam was now completely unconscious as the ghosts continued to converge on his helpless position.

Dean's eyes were flying back and forth between the creature and Sam…he clenched and unclenched his fists in panic and the almost uncontrollable rage that was vying for control of his sanity. He wasn't even aware of the pain in his shoulder anymore…the fear for his brother's life trumping his own agony.

"Will he be okay?" Dean asked quickly. She again tilted her head and folded her arms across her shimmering torso…finally there was a slight nod forward answering his question. "What do I do?" She motioned toward the cave.

"Close it…"

"Could you by any more cryptic…Jesus…" Dean muttered angrily as he rushed for the entrance. He had no idea what waited for him inside that cave…but if it meant he could save Sam? It didn't matter if it was the _hounds of hell_…he'd run in without a second thought…and no weapons…

The instant he passed the lip of the cave Dean felt the press of his mind close in around him like an Anaconda. Everything flooded into him…the torture, the fight with Sam…the last time they'd been in these woods. He was driven to his knees with the tremendous force of the pounding memories…he could feel Kales hands and they'd run over his body in a suggestive manner that made him feel somehow unclean…again. The pain of his little brother's words and how they'd ripped deeper into his soul than he'd ever admit to. And finally the fear of the thing that was guarding this cave and how he'd thrown himself between it and Sam…the fireball searing into his skin….as Sam's terrified face turned toward the creatures that continued to look through them both.

"You see…they've just been using you Dean. This whole time…you were the expendable one." The deep rough male voice shattered the last of Dean's hold on reality and he was drug unwillingly into the confusing world inside the cave.

XXXX

Bobby let out a slow breath as he slowly hung up the phone. _How do I tell him?_ He wondered. He'd been talking with Pastor Jim and several other hunter/scholars that he knew. And they'd pieced together what this creature was that they were dealing with and he was scared….honest to God scared of this one. It wasn't the creature herself that was so scary…but what she guarded. Because if that had been opened…they were all screwed…Hell, the whole damn world was screwed. So how did he tell John that his boys had been taken by a creature that was directly from Purgatory…how the _Hell_ did he tell a father that his only sons were up against _Pandora_?

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _So…da…da…da….that's the creature these kids stumbled upon. And she chose Dean for a reason…that will come out in the next chapter. But he's going to have to face some pretty nasty things before he can finish this hunt. Sam still has a part to play, again that comes out a bit later in the story and keep in mind that I am writing this as an arc in a trilogy. So anything that isn't fully resolved here…it will be in the last story. Thanks to all the people that read, reviewed, followed, and favorite…I appreciate that so much._

**Please Review: Because I get great ideas when you guys question or wonder about the direction of the story. **


	13. What's left in the Box

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._**

**_Just a warning...there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read._**

**Chapter 13**

_What's left in the Box_

Sam felt himself being pulled back toward consciousness. His body protesting the awakening as his back reminded him of his unfortunate introduction to the trunk of the tree. He groaned as he slid his eyes open, his hands slipping up to cradle his torso as he pushed himself up to a seated position. He hissed in pain as his back contacted the tree.

"Sam Winchester." A woman's voice called from somewhere in front of his current position. A wisp of wind ruffled his hair and he blinked to brink his eyes into focus. The creature was still in the center of the circle…but the ghosts were nowhere to be seen. "You must help." She continued.

Sam twisted and bit the inside of his cheek as he pushed himself up onto his feet and turned to stare directly at the woman. His body was hunched as he ignored the fire prickling along his spine and cast his eyes around the area…looking for his brother. "Where's Dean?" He called.

She shifted toward him in a slow almost gliding motion and then gestured toward the interior of the cave. "You must help, Sam Winchester…it must be closed." Sam's eyes flickered over to the dark entrance and then moved back to stare at her again. The wind was pushing her red hair around her head like a halo of fire and the shimmer of the gown she wore reflected a kaleidoscope of rainbow colors that was nearly blinding to look at.

Sam shook his head. "I don't understand. Close what? Where's my brother?" He called angrily at the approaching figure. Her pale skin almost seemed to glow in the rising light of the full moon, she again pointed to the entrance. Once she reached the edge of the circle, an elongated arm with a claw extending from the wrist reached out and touched Sam's forehead before he could pull away. The scales on the arm were a translucent pearl color that dipped down into the long sharp talons of the extended non-human arm.

He felt the slight shock of warmth pulse through his head as his body shuddered and he dropped into unconsciousness again. Sam's last thoughts were for the safety of his brother…wherever he was.

XXXX

Dean slogged slowly through the soggy mire of the cave, his thoughts constantly shifting to his brother and a silent prayer going out to anything that might have its _ears _on, that he would be okay. Sam hadn't looked the least bit okay when Dean had turned to the creature and asked if his little brother would be alright…but he didn't exactly have a choice here, if he had…he would have chosen Sam…every time. He had to enter the cave, whatever was happening to his brother was linked to whatever the creature wanted closed inside that dank cavernous hole. His lungs filled with the smell of both putrid rotted flesh and earthy soil as he pushed deeper into the subtly lit cave. Dean had no clue what was providing the luminescence, but he was intensely grateful he wasn't alone in complete darkness.

He was trying desperately to piece together what he knew at this point. The sudden presence of the ghosts was still throwing him off as he racked his brain trying to figure out what exactly he was up against here. The aching throb of his right shoulder reminded him that it was still out of the socket. Dean groaned inwardly as he looked idly over at the semi-smooth crystalline walls, he could see the glitter of the unknown light being reflected throughout the cavern, almost like the mirrors he'd seen in that one Mummy movie…years ago. He hauled Sam to see the show, since it was supposed to be action packed and it dealt with Mummies…_who wouldn't want to see that?_ Well, the answer to that had been 'Sammy' that's who. His brother hadn't wanted to go see such a silly movie…but Dean had finally convinced him that he would learn a lot since the girl was a scientist of some kind. At the end of the show, his little brother had gone straight to the library to research what had been factual and what had been all Hollywood. …And then, he'd made sure to tell Dean all about it…_thanks for ruining the movie Sammy._

He shook his head and stalked over to the glittering wall, steeling his body for the pain he was about to inflict on himself. Dean pulled in a ragged breath, held it, and then slammed his shoulder into the solid wall. He bit back the cry of pain as white hot agony shot through his body and nearly caused him to drop to his knees as nausea rolled through his stomach. "Oh…shit…ugh…." He hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes squeezed shut. He was suddenly reminded that he had had surgery not all that long ago, when his head exploded in agony. His hands flew up to the spot where the sutures were still in place just above his hairline and he breathed slowly waiting for his head to stop echoing. The radiating misery of his shoulder dialed back some as the ball and socket joint slid into place, his body still hurt like a bitch, but at least he could use his arm now.

"You must hurry Dean Winchester…" The creatures unnatural voice echoed through the stagnant air and had Dean spinning quickly as he searched for the direction he'd entered from…and hopefully the source of the voice. As Dean's agitated eyes slid quickly around the large area, he found that there was no entrance and no exit to this room… _So that's great…disappearing openings on top of everything else._ He thought with irritation.

"Where? Hey! Where the hell am I supposed to be going?!" He called angrily into the empty room, his own gravelly voice resounding off the walls his only answer. A dark corner just ahead caught his roving gaze and he did a double take when he realized that there was something waiting in the darkness. He squinted and then moved toward the huddled mass…as he got closer his legs began to move quicker, completely of their own accord. There was something familiar about that particular _mass._ '_Sammy..._' his mind screamed as he collapsed next to his brother's still form. Sam's head appeared to have stopped bleeding, but he was still unconscious. Dean gently shook Sam's shoulder and waited, albeit not patiently, as he heard his little brother moan and shift uncomfortably on the frigid stone floor.

"Sam…?" Dean said again as his brother's eyelids slid open and he blinked slowly a few times as he tried to clear the blurriness from his vision.

"Dean?" Sam asked as he shifted and allowed his brother to help him into a seated position, leaning back against the side of the cave. His immediate hiss of pain made Dean stare at him in concern. Sam reached up and rubbed the back of his head as pain shot through it and he groaned again at the feeling of the crusty dried blood in his hair. He really hated washing blood out of his hair…it made it tangle. "Where am I…?" He asked. Sam remembered the creature touching him…and then there was nothing but a blank. He was glad to see his brother though…at least whatever was happening here was now something that they could face together.

Dean looked around the lair, _which sounds better than cave, _he thought to himselfand shrugged with his left shoulder. "Inside the cavern?" He looked back at his baby brother and shook his head. "And before you ask…No…I have no idea how." He shifted back on his haunches and held his arm close to his side. Sam's inquisitive eyes shifted from the room to his older brother's protective posture.

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asked he leaned forward slightly and then wished he hadn't as nausea threatened to roll up his throat. Dean shook his head and sighed…before pulling himself to his feet,

"Yeah…Sam. I'm fine. You know you ask me that too much, right?" Dean said as he gave Sam a sardonic smile that didn't really reach his eyes.

Sam raised an eyebrow at that. He knew that Dean's version of _fine_ could potentially have him dying in a hospital of pneumonia and bronchitis mixed…and Dean would still say he was 'fine'. "So…we're inside the cave…we don't know how…and we still don't have a clue what we're up against?" He looked up at his brother. Dean nodded silently. "Okay…that's kinda what I thought."

Dean's attention shifted and had Sam looking around the silent cavern in search of what had garnered his brother's attention. He furrowed his forehead in frustration when he realized that there was actually enough light inside this 'sealed' room for him to clearly see Dean's face. He saw Dean's expression shift subtly as he glanced off into the darkness and then back at Sam. "Can you stand?" Dean asked and then leaned down once again as he looked his brother square in the eyes and he waited for an answer.

Sam took a moment to take stock of his actual condition. He was a little dizzy and he wanted to go puke in that dark corner over there, but he figured he could probably stand up if he attempted it slowly. "Think so." He answered honestly.

Once he was on his feet he gulped back the rising bile and then managed to mostly clear his fuzzy vision. Dean watched with the clarity of a hawk as he waited for Sam to crash back to the floor. As soon as he was convinced that his little brother wasn't going to pass out on him…or throw up all over his shoes…he was content to take a step back and look around the area again.

Dean narrowed his eyes when he saw a passage off over the edge of what had appeared to be a solid wall of granite only moments before. "I think we're supposed to go that way." He said as he pointed over his brother's shoulder. Sam twisted slowly and looked in the general direction Dean was pointing.

"Really Dean? And what makes you think that?" He asked with a sigh. _Damn…did his head hurt_. Sam thought silently as he considered the pounding percussions going on inside his head.

Dean shrugged with his good shoulder. "Uh…the fact that it wasn't there a minute ago?" His voice rose with the obvious brilliance of his observation. He completely missed his brother's sardonic glare as he turned to look at the suddenly appearing pathway.

Sam snorted. "Okay…let's follow the magically appearing yellow-brick road."

It was Dean's turn to look at his brother with a blank face. "Yeah…cuz that ended well…"

Sam shifted away from Dean and thinned his lips in slight irritation at his brother's lack of understanding. "Yes…it did actually…click your heels three times and magically go home?" He stared with narrowed eyes and a rising sense of frustration at his brother's complete lack of knowledge when it came to anything that wasn't either classic rock or a movie that came out in the eighties staring one Chuck Norris or any of the monkey movies with Clint Eastwood.

Dean's teeth popped together as he clicked his jaw closed and looked blankly in his brother's irritated blue-green eyes. "Sam, I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about. And what's more…I don't care, Sammy. We're going this way." He waited as Sam pushed away from the wall and started walking with Dean right at his elbow in case he tripped or passed out again.

"So…what are we even looking for?" Sam asked as Dean slipped slightly in front of him. He wasn't about to allow his little brother, who was injured, to take point on something like this. The memories that had been assaulting his mind when he'd entered the cavern had finally ceased, but the headache was still pressing at the back of his head like a serrated knife. He scratched at the base of his head as a niggling sensation flitted through his skin. "Dean? You okay?" Sam asked when he noticed that Dean had stopped moving.

"I'm fine, Sam. Quit asking me that. I don't know _what_ we're looking for, I already told you that…but I think it has to do with 'closing something'. She kept saying I had to _close something_…." Dean's voice drifted off as he saw something or someone moving straight toward them. His eyes widened in surprise and he reached out, pushing Sam into the wall.

"Owe….what the hell, Dean?" Sam said loudly.

"Shhh…." Dean answered as he pressed Sam further behind himself. He reached around to his back and grabbed the only weapon he had had on him when they'd been taken. A small knife that was stuffed into the leather pouch attached to his belt, he flipped up the snap and pulled out the silver blade. _Thank god for old habits…_he thought.

Sam shifted and tried to see around his brother's shoulder…he couldn't make out anything ahead of them. "What is it Dean?" He asked in tense whisper.

Dean gave him the sign to keep still. Sam halted more out of habit than anything else and he sank to his knees as he waited for Dean to tell him it was safe to move again.

The older Winchester moved forward silently as he tried to make out what he was seeing as the light continued to shift…finally he was able to see at least a shape. Dean motioned to Sam to stay where he was and slipped around the corner and immediately stumbled to a halt as the massive shape of man came into view.

"Hello, Dean." He smiled and Dean could feel his skin crawl as he finally placed the voice…it was Kale. His mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide as panic raced up his spine and settled into his chest. As his whole body tightened with the thought that his little brother was less than twenty feet away and this meant that they were in deep trouble here.

"You're dead…" He said quietly. The figure shrugged his shoulders and his lip curled back in a sneer.

"Did you really think that was going to stop me?" He asked coldly. Kale's eyes were roaming over Dean's body casually and Dean could feel his insides twisting painfully as a result of the action. The look in the things eyes made him feel dirty and brought up the fear that had been so prevalent when he'd been in the clutches of the men at the camp.

"What the hell are you?" Dean managed to hiss around the rising bile in the back of his throat.

"Oh…you've never met something like me before…" It narrowed _Kales_ eyes and shifted closer to Dean's position. He found his legs moving him immediately further away from the figure as it tried to close the distance separating them. Suddenly Sam was standing next to him, his own eyes the size of saucers as he stared at the man they'd killed. Sam knew there was no way that that _guy_ survived and was in this cave with them. So what was it they were dealing with here…?

"Dean?" He said cautiously. His brother turned to looked at him and Sam felt his brotherly instincts rear up as he saw the barely concealed fear beneath the surface of his brother's eyes.

Dean swallowed and then turned back toward the figure. "So what are you." It tilted its head and then burst out laughing…the sound echoed through the cavern and rattled both boys heads to the point that they were driven to their knees.

"I'm what pops out when a _jack-in-the-box_ just isn't enough." It said, the voice dripping with malicious intent. Both of the brothers were struggling back to their feet, neither of them wanting to be caught on their knees in front of this particular man or apparition of the man.

"What is it with you supernatural little bitches…that you have to answer everything with a fucking riddle?" Dean seethed as anger finally worked its way past his growing fear. He again pushed Sam so that he was positioned slightly behind himself as he stared at the thing that had stolen a part of him in those woods. It smiled viciously and tilted its head as the gaze shifted over to Sam.

"So you're the one that he wanted get back to? You would've been fun to play with…" It leered at Sam and Dean felt his anger rise into the realms of white hot rage as he stared angrily at the _thing_.

"Shut-up!" He cried as he sprang forward. The knife positioned in his left hand as he crashed into the form of the _thing_ that was blocking their path. He heard his brother's cry of warning from somewhere behind him as he buried the blade into the heart of the _Kale-thing_. A silent oath went out as it shifted from the left to the right and pulled him out of the light and into the darkness. Dean felt a meaty fist slam into his jaw and he grunted as he pushed past the pain in his shoulder to twist his fists into the things clothing and pull his knee up and pump it several times into Kale's stomach.

Suddenly Dean wasn't on his feet anymore, he was being pushed toward the ground by an unnatural force…the oxygen was pressed from his body as he collided with the wall and slid into a seated position. On the other side of the cavern he was able to make out Sam in a similar position. "Sammy?" He called loudly, his eyes searching for his brother's face.

Sam raised his pained gaze and connected with his older brother. "Dean?"

"Yeah…you okay?" Dean asked as he shifted and realized that he was being held in place by something that he couldn't see. _Damn…I hate when they do this shit._ He thought as he struggled against the forces holding him in place.

"Sam, can you move?" Dean watched with a sinking heart as Sam struggled against the invisible bonds and then shook his head miserably. "Okay…Sam any clue what we might be up against here?"

Sam licked his lips and shifted as much as he was able to and then narrowed his eyes as he thought. As he started pulling together what he knew first hand and what Dean had told him about what the creature had said to him on the several occasions. He was beginning to come to an unlikely conclusion and yet it was the only one that was actually making any sort of sense. "Uh…I think I might have a theory…" He stammered, his back twinging slightly as it rubbed against the wall.

Dean rolled his eyes and huffed. "Well, wanna share with the rest of the class here, Sam?"

Sam glared at him for the snide comment but answered in spite of it. "You said she kept saying that you had to 'close it'…Is that right?" His brother nodded. "So…the only thing that I can think of that would have something to close…is from Greek Mythology…the story of Pandora."

Dean furrowed his forehead in slight confusion, but then it smoothed as he recalled some of his classes in high school. Sure he'd heard of Pandora's box…who hadn't? But what did a mythological creature that had supposedly let evil out into the world…want with him…or Sam for that matter? "Didn't she let everything that's evil out into the world…leaving hope as the sole thing inside the jar or box?"

Sam stared at his brother in silent astonishment. On occasion, Dean managed to _shock the shit _out of him with the things he _did_ know. Sam had always known that his older brother was way smarter than he let on…but he wouldn't have thought that Dean knew his way around _Greek Mythology_…that seemed to be more in Sam's arena than his brother's.

"Very good Dean…maybe you're not as stupid as I first assumed." The thing pretending to be Kale walked up to him and squatted down in front of him. Dean cringed when he realized that his knife was still sticking grotesquely out of the things chest. It reached up and pulled the dagger out and then ran the blade over Dean's cheek. It wasn't enough pressure to break the skin, but it definitely let Dean know who was calling the shots at the moment. "You can save your brother…you know."

TBC…

**Author's Note****_:_**_ There will be three phases to closing the box…each of the brother's will be involved. But the evil that was released will throw everything it has at them to stop it. John and Bobby still have big parts to play in the upcoming chapters and Pandora will also be bringing something to the table. But initially the brothers will have to face this together…and alone. Thanks for all the awesome comments from the last chapter, I'm glad that you guys weren't expecting the twist…and there are few more before this comes to winding halt._

**Please Review: Parts of the story are being driven by your 'wonderings' and suggestions…so please keep it up.**


	14. Truth or Dare

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

**_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._**

**_WARNING: There is still _****_A lot of ANGST_****_ in this chapter...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared..._****_don't like...don't read_****_._**

**Chapter 14**

_Truth or Dare_

Dean stared in frozen silence at the _thing_ sitting directly in front of him, the dark eyes showing no mercy at it considered the older Winchester brother. But he didn't understand what the freaking thing was talking about here…_save Sam...save Sam from what? _His nervous eyes flickered over to where his brother was staring at him, the confusion reflecting clearly out of Sam's gaze was making Dean's stomach twist in rising fear. He looked over at the apparition of Kale, the thing that was currently leering at him, complete with a cruel sneer to its chapped lips. "Sam's fine…he's stronger than you think, you son of a bitch." Dean ground out through gritted teeth; a small part of him was praying that what he had said was actually true, that Sam was stronger than anything this bastard could throw at him. But they didn't really know what they were up against here…and that part scared Dean.

The evil smile never faltered on Kale's lips as he looked over his shoulder at where Sam was being held frozen on the opposite side of the cavern. "Not yet he isn't, Dean….but he will." It shifted back to a standing position and then folded the large muscular arms across its borrowed chest. "And so will you, Dean-o." With that it stepped away and moved over to where Sam watched silently from the shadows, his eyes constantly flickering to meet his brothers.

Dean's head snapped up at that and he stared gap mouthed at the entity. "What, you got a magic eight ball or something?" He said snarkily as it bent over and grabbed Sam's chin in its large hands twisting his head side to side and looking into the youngest Winchester's glittering angry eyes, almost as if searching deep inside his very soul.

"Ah…there it is…" Kale's fingers slipped from Sam's face and it licked it's lips in anticipation. "Now I see what all the fuss is about…" It stood and turned back toward Dean as _Kale_ clasped his massive hands behind his back and paced between the brothers. "I think we should play a little game...I love a good game..." It lifted a hand and each of the brothers was pulled suddenly to their feet, though still pinned to the walls like sad little bugs. "We should start with…." Kale's fingers ticked between them as he decided who to 'play' with first.

"Beauty before brains..." Dean said loudly. If this thing was anything at all like Kale had been, he didn't want it focused on Sam any more than it absolutely had to be. "Obviously, you should start with me." He repeated in a clipped tone.

It turned and looked at Dean and then pointed deliberately at Sam. "You…"

Sam's eyes snapped to his brothers and he furrowed his forehead in an attempt to try and figure out what the hell was actually happening here. "What'cha got there sparky…" He said evenly. He could see Dean shaking his head 'no' out of the corner, his brother's gaze getting progressively wider as he watched the entity move to stand directly in front of Sam.

"Truth or dare, Sam?" It said with a twitch of dark eyebrows and pointedly ignored Dean's struggles behind its back.

"What?" Sam was caught a bit off guard by the childish game.

"Don't answer that, Sam." Dean said quickly. He knew that this thing could twist anything that Sam said and make it either something evil or it could truly hurt him through the action of the actual dare.

Kale turned to look at Dean and snapped his fingers, Dean hunched over as pain spread rapidly through his chest, the feeling of the bones stretching apart making him want to vomit. Agony electrified his nerve endings and made him grind his teeth together as it traveled up and pulsed painfully with white bursts of agony behind his clenched eyes. "Oh…God…." Dean panted.

"Stop! Stop it!" Sam cried immediately and struggled harder against the invisible bonds that continued to hold him immobilized. "Stop…truth! Truth….Fucking Truth!" He screamed and then made it a point not look over at Dean as he waited for the thing to ask him whatever it was going to ask. He could hear his brother's ragged breaths from across the cavern…the room amplifying the wretched sounds.

Kale exhaled and then turned back to Sam a sly grin working its way onto his face. "Excellent." He paced in front of the boy and then stopped as he again reached out, but this time he caressed Sam's cheek. Sam's skin was instantly crawling from the simple touch. It was like being touched by pure evil, which he supposed it probably was…if they were dealing with Pandora and this was _what_ was let out of the box. "Riddle me this, Sammy…have you ever resented your brother?" He leaned in when he saw the lie forming on Sam's lips and whispered. "If you lie to me…your brother will pay in blood." And then Kale leaned back and smiled as he once again began pacing the limited space in the cavern.

Sam's nostrils flared and regret snaked its way through his belly as he remembered all the times he'd wished that Dean would have been a little less on their father's side and _a lot more on his_ side. The tears burned at the back of his eyes as he looked up at his brother and then quickly dropped back at the mucky floor of the cave. His older brother had pushed the pain down and was looking expectantly at Sam as he too waited for the answer. "Uh…I…I can't…" Sam groaned as he tried to stall the answer. The creature narrowed its dark eyes and then flicked a single finger in Dean's direction and Sam heard the audible crack as the blood rushed from Dean's nose. "NO!" Sam cried as Dean's head dropped forward from the unexpected pain that blossomed inside his head only to run down his lips and drip onto his heaving chest. "Yes! _God damn you_! Yes…." Sam's voice dropped to a broken whisper.

"Yes…what, Sam." It asked.

Sam brought his guilty eyes up. The bastard was going to make him say it… "Yes, I have resented my brother." The words felt like they were being torn from the depths of Sam's psyche…it wasn't something he ever would have admitted to. But he couldn't watch this bastard hurt his brother either. That simply wasn't an option for him.

"Thank you, Sam." It said as it turned toward Dean. "Same question Dean…have you ever resented your little brother?"

Sam held his breath as he waited for the same pain to attack him as it had his brother…but none came as Dean answered a quiet. "_No_…" The agony that flared to life within Sam, had nothing to do with a physical injury as he stared sadly at the honesty radiating effortlessly through his older brother's entire visage.

It smiled and then moved back to Dean, his fingers tracing down Dean's chest and leaving a trail of white fire in its wake. Dean gasped and his body jerked as Kale simply stared him in the eyes. Sam wasn't sure what was happening, all he could see was the massively broad back of the evil thing taunting his older brother. "Dean, truth or dare?"

Dean swallowed hard and then pulled his gaze up meeting Sam's as he weighed their chances in a 'dare' or the potential damage of another 'truth'. He had enough secrets that he'd intended on taking to his grave…and he wasn't about to let this piece of filth twist his feelings against Sam. _Well, he'd always been a man of action and not words, so_… "Dare." He seethed through clenched teeth. Dean made sure that there was no shake to his voice as he made what could potentially be a deadly decision for both himself and his brother.

The damn thing _grinned_ at him…it actually fucking _grinned_. The smile spreading fast and wide across it's evil face as it turned for a moment and winked at Sam before giving Dean his own challenge. A huge vat of water appeared suddenly and Sam disappeared at the same time. Dean's eyes widened in fear and surprise as he instantly pieced together what he was about to face. "I dare you to save Sam." It said as his brother appeared beneath the water, a mass of ropes and knots holding him far beneath the churning surface.

"SAMMY!" Dean cried as he looked through the clear walls of the container. He felt the invisible restraints disappear as he fell forward onto his hands and knees. Dean grunted, but ignored the pain in his body as he surged to his feet and scrambled up and over the sharp edge of the vat. The air involuntarily rushed from his lungs as he dropped into the frigid water. The instant the freezing cold liquid closed over his head his fear heightened as he dove toward the bottom where Sam was struggling with the heavy ropes. Dean had never regretted any decision quite as much as he did the moment; that moment, he'd said 'dare'.

His fingers were slow to respond to his commands and he could feel Sam's fingers grasping desperately into his shirt as he pulled and twisted at the wet ropes. Dean could feel his own lungs starting to burn with the need to breathe as he pushed and pulled the stubborn bindings…He wasn't leaving his brother. If they were going to die, it was going to be together. He felt Sam's movements slowing and that spurred his fingers into a dizzying frenzy as he slid the last of the knots apart. Dean lunged upward, grabbing Sam beneath the arms and pulling him to the surface. His head burst out of the water as he gasped in a huge lungful of air.

Sam's vision was starting to turn black at the edges as his lungs screamed for oxygen when he felt Dean's forearms slide frantically beneath his and haul him toward the shadowy surface. He was immediately gulping in enormous breaths of dank air as soon as his head broke the choppy waters. Sam finally managed to get his fingers working and grabbed onto the edge of the vat, leaning his head against the wall as he waited for his fuzzy head to clear. Sam finally looked over to where Dean was watching him intensely with worried eyes. "I'm okay…" Sam managed to mutter around the water he was still spitting out.

Dean nodded and helped push his brother over the edge of the container; Sam dropped onto his feet and bent over as he felt his legs turn to jelly beneath him. His brother was instantly settling next to him only have them dragged apart and slammed back into the walls, once again unable to move.

Kale's hands came together as he clapped slowly…a sick and twisted version of the slow 'golf clap'. "Wow! I didn't honestly think you'd be able to do it Dean….just goes to show what a little motivation will get you." He stopped in front of the elder brother and dragged his fingers down Dean's drenched chest and then patted the hard plains of the older boy's stomach before shifting back toward Sam. Dean could feel his gut twist in disgust every single fucking time the bastard touched him in some suggestive manner…but he would take all of that, if it meant that he didn't have to watch the same lurid acts inflicted on his little brother. "So…Sammy…"

"It's Sam." His brother growled as he glared at the _thing_ that was currently making their lives a living hell.

"You should learn some respect there, Sam." It narrowed its dark eyes and twisted long solid fingers into Sam's wet t-shirt. "You're going to die screaming Sammy…knives…pits…shotguns….it's all coming your way."

Dean listened to the thing taunt his brother and a part of him prayed that none of that was true…but he had never been prouder of Sam as he glared angrily at the entity, but he'd also never been more scared as he saw the subtle shift in Kales stance. He knew that if he didn't pull its attention away from Sam, there would be dire consequences. And he knew first-hand what those consequences could entail…and there was no way this thing was torturing Sam. "So…you going to actually _do_ something here…or are you going to talk us to death?" His voice was a low grinding rasp as Dean stared at Kale.

It spun around and raised an eyebrow as it quickly closed the distance separating them, the things hands were shifting into razor sharp talons as it reached up and ran one, agonizingly slow, down Dean's cheek. The brilliant crimson blossoming on the middle Winchester's face as the sharp edge cut easily into the pale skin.

Sam watched with horror as his brother bit his lip and his green eyes were quickly squeezed shut to block out the pain that Sam knew had to be radiating through Dean. "Stop…" Sam cried as the thing brought the bloodied talon to its lips and licked the errant drops of metallic liquid from the eight inch long claws. When its eyes met his, Sam gulped a planned response in dismay…there were no pupils…just the brilliant whites of its eyes. The other hand started to stretch out into a claw as the things face shifted and pulled…the bones cracking and echoing throughout the cavern as its mouth morphed from a normal human shape into a vast gaping maw. The thing had multiple rows of teeth which were pushing through the gums, razor sharp canines that looked as though they would be more at home in a chainsaw blade than inside a mouth. The creature continued to shift and as it did, Dean found that he was released from his frozen position against the stone wall.

He fell away from the rock, ignoring the burn of the wound on his face, and sprinted toward Sam as he watched his brother's body slump forward and Sam stumbled to try and get his footing. "Sammy! Let's go!"

Sam nodded and blindly followed his brother toward an opening that had appeared just behind the rapidly shifting monster. They both heard the unnatural screech that deepened in a growling roar as they rounded the far corner. Dean slowed and pushed his brother next to wall ensuring that they were moving evenly as they continued to run through the dimly lit corridor. Whatever they had done had obviously caused a _shift, _or some sort of phase, in the evil inside the cave…so the best thing that Dean could think of was to keep moving forward. That and the fact that he wanted Sam as far away from that bastard as he could get him…before something happened that Dean couldn't protect his brother from.

"You can't run from me…I'm coming for you!" Kale's raspy roar reverberated through the caverns and had Dean spinning to see if they were being followed yet. Sam's own eyes collided with his brother's as they each thudded to a halt. The light in the caverns diminishing to the point of bleak darkness…

Sam watched as his brother's face started to fade into the dismal chasm, he reached for Dean's shoulder, ensuring that he didn't lose his 'true-north' as they pushed forward into the next cavern.

A sudden blinding white light had both boys covering their eyes when the room flooded in a radiant glow that caught them off guard. Dean's sudden shuddering halt had Sam colliding with his brother's solid form. "What is it?" Sam called over the rushing sound of water. _Where had the water come from? _He wondered silently. Sam managed to pry his eyes open and then found himself staring, open mouthed, at the pool of glistening blue water that was quickly disappearing beneath a curved obsidian rocks just in front of their position.

Dean was frozen as he stared at the carved pools and the luminescent figure that hovered just above the azure blue of the rushing waters…Sam's eyebrows rose into his hairline and he tilted his head as his eyes slid to meet Dean's agonizing and extremely confused gaze.

"No…no…it can't be…not you…." He muttered and pushed his little brother further behind him. Sam found himself peeking around his brother's broad shoulders and staring in amazement at the visage above the underground river.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _Start of the second phase…or challenge. The boys aren't going to know there are three of them, initially. But will they make it to the third one? Or will the figure convince them of another path…and Bobby and John still have yet to make an appearance…that's all in the next chapter. Thanks to everyone that has reviewed, favorited, and followed…you guys ROCK! Just a taste of how I'm pushing this part of the story and why…with a little bit of where it's going._

**Please Review: The phases are proving the boys are really ****_together_**** in this…because that is the only way that they can beat ultimate evil…with love.**


	15. Grave Memories

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_BIG WARNING_****_...Mentions of past abuse of a minor in this chapter, nothing specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 15**

_Grave Memories_

The image of a very large man that Sam didn't recognize had suddenly materialized in front of their current position. But while Sam didn't know this person, it was painfully obvious looking at his brother's pale face that Dean knew exactly who this monstrosity of a man was. Sam watched as Dean's hands started to involuntarily shake and he suddenly looked all of eight years old. Sam's surprised gaze darted back up to the man, he was tall, muscular, and lean with a dark shock of brown hair set over a tanned unassuming face. He was wearing an old teaching uniform, one appropriate for a physical education teacher. But it was the eerie leering look in the man's dark blue eyes that really got the youngest Winchester's attention…_Uh oh…_Sam's thoughts shifted instantly to a memory from so long ago that he wouldn't have remembered it on his own…it played out in Technicolor inside his head.

XXXX

_Dean had come home from_ _school early; their father had actually been in town long enough for Dean to start at a new school year with his kids his age. It had taken some fancy talking on his older brother's part to explain why Sammy couldn't come to school with him…their father had completely shot Dean down when he offered to stay home with his 'pouting' four year old brother. _

_Sam had been watching Thunder-cats on the old television in the apartment, the rabbit ears barely helping the crappy reception, their father had rented. His pudgy little fingers buried deep inside the box of Lucky Charms, searching for the toy that he knew was buried at the bottom. Dean never took the toy; he always left it for Sam to find. It was one of a million things that Dean didn't mind giving up for his family. Their father had been helping out the apartment complex manager in exchange for some of the rent, so he wasn't inside the place at the moment…but he wasn't too far away…Sam always knew that._

_"D'n…" Sam called happily as he jumped up from the ratty old chair and ran to give his brother a hug. Dean threw his arms around his little brother and just held him as his chest rattled against Sam's small body. At four years old he hadn't understood what was going on with his big brother, but he had known that 'something' was very wrong. Sam pulled away and looked up into the haunted tear filled eyes of his brother and felt his own small chest swell with anger. 'Someone had hurt Dean…' _

_"What's wrong?" He asked in his high pitched but obviously worried voice. His own blue-green eyes widening in anger and concern as Sam stared up at the obviously hurt face of Dean._

_Dean shook his head and reached up to scrub the tears out of his eyes before looking back down at Sam. "Nothing Sammy…just a bad day at school." He would have several more of those 'bad days' before they would finally move on from the small town in nowhere USA._

_Now 'that' was something that Sam simply couldn't understand. He wanted so badly to be big enough to go to school; he wanted to learn 'everything'. He turned wide puppy-dog eyes on Dean and sighed dramatically. "It'll be better to'mmrow." He said innocently. He felt his brother pull in a shaky breath and hug him briefly before turning to put his new backpack on the chair near the kitchen table._

_"I don't want to go back…" Dean said softly. _

XXXX

Dean stared in abject horror at the manifestation in front of them. He was nearly knocked over as uncontrollable dread tripped-hammered throughout his body as he was thrown back almost ten years in an instant.

_Dean had walked into the gym for PE class, he was sporting his usual 'devil-may-care attitude so the teacher, Mr. Walsh, had made him stay after the rest of the class was sent to lunch to help pick up the multitude of kick balls and then put them back into the equipment closet. The middle aged man had watched Dean with a small smirk on his face as he leaned against the only entrance in and out of the tiny room. Once Dean had placed the red balls neatly in rows on the shelves, he turned to grab his backpack and watched with increasing alarm when he noticed that the teacher held it in his hands. _

_"If that's all Mr. Walsh…" Dean started to reach for the pack and the man stepped forward looking down, with building interest, into the eight year olds wide eyes._

_"You have the nicest eyes Dean." He said, before reaching out to grasp the boy gently on the shoulder. The touch made Dean distinctly uncomfortable, so he backed up until his back was pushed against the back wall of the small room. "You don't want to get in trouble, right Dean? You don't want me to have to call your father and tell him you were misbehaving?" He continued as he slowly closed the distance Dean had created, his fingers reaching out to gently card through the kids baby soft blonde hair…_

The thing continued to stare at him and the smile that crept onto its thin dry lips made Dean's stomach twist in rank regret. He'd carried this dirty little secret for almost a decade and, as he looked over at Sam in rising anxiety, he realized that he wouldn't be carrying this secret alone anymore. This son-of-a-bitching monster was going to lay _this_ bare before his family. Dean noticed when he threw a look of alarm in Sam's direction that his little brother's eyes were wide with understanding. _Oh God…he already knows…_Dean thought in agonized silence.

"Dean…you grew up…well…still so pretty." The man said as he settled onto the rocky ground in front of the brothers, his arms dropping to his sides. Mr. Walsh's gaze shifting over to Sam and his dark bushy eyebrows lifting nearly to his hairline in abject appreciation of the lean sinewy muscle's that Sam had developed as he'd grown up. "And this must be little Sammy…" The projection whistled low in his throat as he continued to ogle the youngest Winchester. Dean felt his 'big brother' mode go into overdrive as he stepped determinedly in front of his brother, effectively hiding him from the _things_ carnal stare. It laughed out right, the sound making the boys jump slightly as it reverberated through the cave. It held up large palms attached to even larger forearms and then shifted so it was looking directly at Dean again. "Whoa…whoa there sport…we can keep this between me and you…" The face shifted into something decidedly less pleasant as it continued to taunt the middle Winchester. "…just like we did that day after kickball…and a few other days too…right sport?" It glanced over at Sam to see how that little piece of news would _affect_ the younger brother…

Sam stared in unadulterated horror at the man…no, he wasn't going to call it a man…this was a _thing,_ in every sense of the word. It was one thing to _suspect_ that _something _had happened, it was quite another to have it blatantly confirmed in his brother's haunted green eyes.

"You remember Dean? Oh man…the soft feel of your young skin…" It rolled its eyes suggestively and then tilted its hips…the malice in the icy blue eyes easily visible.

"Stop…" Dean whispered into the acrid silence that followed its revelation…he looked down at the floor of the cave avoiding his brother's eyes all together. Of all the secrets he had been praying went to his grave with him…this one topped the list. His shoulders shook as the tremors raced through his body and he pointedly ignored Sam's soft fingers on his shoulder. "Please…just stop." Dean repeated, never bringing his eyes up. This was too raw…even ten years later. He had never really dealt with what had happened in that town on his first day of school…or the several other times after that, when his father had _made_ him go to school. Eventually, Dean had started cutting class and soon thereafter they had moved onto another city and another school. He had pushed the feelings so far back in his mind that he'd rarely thought of the events since moving from that town.

Sam couldn't take this anymore. He stepped up and glared at the being that was emotionally scarring his brother…for a second time. "Leave him the fuck alone." He growled through clenched teeth. Sam's angry glare promising death if the 'being' didn't back the hell off.

It narrowed its eyes and then tilted the teachers head to the side. "Hmmm…wish I'd met you all those years ago Sammy…" The creature let the rest of the sentence hang in the air between them before snapping forward and slamming Sam against the rock wall. The jagged edges of the granite cutting easily through the thin layers of clothing he was wearing.

Sam grunted in pain as he felt his back slice open in a few places and the sticky wet blood slip down his skin only to be soaked up by the waistband of his jeans. His head contacted the wall and an explosion of bright stars behind his eyes had him groaning as he tried to clear his vision.

The sound of Sam being hurt pulled Dean out of his mental _pain-circle_. He didn't think about what he was doing, he simply reacted and threw his own body at the creature feeling the shock of the water as they both plunged into the cascading dark of the pool. He felt the thing grab onto his shoulders and the instant press of the thing's body along his length making him nausea as they disappeared beneath the rapidly swirling waters.

Sam forced his eyes open and watched in silent horror as his brother's blonde head vanished under the surface along with the grinning face of the creature. "DEAN?!" Sam cried once his voice was working again. He bit down on his own trembling stomach and lurched toward the edge of the pool. He'd been right there…and he hadn't been able to save Dean…he wanted to plunge into the briny deep after his brother but he couldn't even see where they had gone under. Sam leaned over the ledge and looked for the struggling forms of the creature and his brother…but his body chose that moment to remind him that he'd just bashed his own head into a solid rock wall. The darkness closed in and his vision was reduced to mere pin-pricks of light and then he collapsed to the floor….unconscious.

XXXX

When Sam fought his way back toward the pain filled land of awareness he found that he was lying with one arm in the frigid pool and the other tucked painfully beneath his torso. He could feel _something _running fingers through his damp hair as he pried his eyelids open and moaned when his back spasmed in pain.

"Shhhh…Sammy. It is going to be okay." A female voice said.

Sam struggled to come to his knees as he pulled his gaze up from the water. He bit back on the bile that rose into his throat as he blinked several times, trying desperately to remember where he was and why. _Oh..God…Dean?_ "Dean…" he muttered and then looked at the _person_ sitting next to him.

"You have to wake up Sam…you have to save your brother." The voice was sounding more and more like it was echoing from a great distance.

"How? Where is he?" Sam managed as his gaze fell on the creature that guarded the cave. Her long red hair flowing well past her waist and her gentle voice ringing clearly inside his throbbing head…though her lips hadn't moved.

She looked at him with slitted yellow eyes and sadness seemed to infuse her being as she shook her head slowly. "Only you will know how to find Dean. I cannot interfere…it is forbidden."

Sam felt his anger making its way to the surface. She'd brought them there…so why couldn't she help? "Who are you? Where's Dean? How can I save him?" The questions were rolling quickly past his lips before he'd even waited for an answer.

She continued to look at him sadly, shaking her head in frustration. "I am the one that let it out…you must go now." She reached out, running her fingers through his hair again as the entire place fell into darkness.

"Wait! How do I find my brother?" He called loudly.

"You must look where it _all_ began." _What was it with this monster and riddles_?

Sam groaned in desperation as the last image of his brother floated through his mind; Dean slamming into the creature and then both figures disappearing beneath the surface of the water as they struggled for dominance. Only Sam had no clear memory of either his brother or the creature surfacing again from the depths of dark turgid water. He pulled himself to unsteady feet and felt for the edge of the wall, using his toes to locate the ledge over the pool. His body complained loudly at being forced into an upright position as the injuries to his back and the tilting feeling within his head made him lean over and violently empty his stomach into the darkness; the action causing agonizing pulses of light to explode inside his head again.

_It was his worst fear_…losing his brother and having no clue where to search for him or even _what _had taken Dean. He spit into the dusty darkness, trying to rid his mouth of the rancid taste of bile and then began to slowly put one foot in front of the other. His fingers feeling along the damp rock as a sort of 'guide', Sam swallowed his fears and plunged into the heart of darkness…his only beacon being his limitless _hope…the hope that he could reach Dean…before it was too late. The hope that they would make it out of this cave...alive and relatively sane._

XXXX

John felt like he was losing his freaking mind. He and Bobby had been searching for the better part of two days, no sleep, no resting; no breaks….they were both surviving solely on massive levels of caffeine and their limitless supply of stubbornness. Bobby had tracked down what he thought they were up against…and then he'd had the unfortunate pleasure of telling John what it was that his boys had stumbled across. The worried father had felt his panic crest as the identity of the creature and what she represented was revealed. His sons were well trained hunters in their own rights…but this wasn't just some random hunt for a Wendigo or a bitchy ghost…this was evil _incarnate_ that was after his boys.

Further research had revealed that there were three phases or tests to return the evil to the box…or at least limit its effect on the world around it. According to the books Bobby had, Pandora had allowed the evil to escape from the box and then it had roamed free in the world, picking and choosing victims and heroes. It happened every hundred and fifty years, one person was chosen to battle the tests and either return the evil to the confines of the cave or catch a one way ticket to _Hell._ That little fact had had John leaning over the off white toilet in Bobby's downstairs bathroom, retching up everything he'd eaten for the past week…maybe even earlier. By the time he'd been able to haul himself to his feet, he'd been shaky and terrified for his boys. His ribs protesting the unusual exercise as he'd leaned against the sink and rinsed his mouth out before staring at his own haunted expression in the small beveled mirror.

Apparently over the intervening years, ghosts would gather or they would be created by Pandora, through ritualistic deaths, and then she would wait for a 'pure soul' to enter into her territory. Once she'd identified that _soul_ she would pull them into her cave and set that person on a series of test or trials to push the evil back into its confinement. Except this time she'd gotten more than she bargained for when both brothers had been pulled into the caverns.

He and Bobby had gone out where Dean had identified the disappearances of the people…but no dice. There had been nothing there. A large circular clearing and a _solid_ rock face…but nothing else, there had been absolutely no sign of either of his boys. He and Bobby had called in every other hunter that they knew to try and help them search, but as it stood…they had no leads…and John was terrified that he had lost both his boys to the supernatural…just like he had Mary.

TBC…

**Author's Note****_:_**_ Sorry this is a couple days late. My week got super freaking busy right at the end. As you can see the boys are getting further and further into the lore…whether they like it or not. It will be only through unconditional love and acceptance that they will find the strength and the hope to beat this creature. Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed or even simply enjoyed the last chapter. I hope this one meets with your approval for rising suspense. Sorry for the cliff hanger here…I don't seem able to write anything else. _

**Please Review: I have enjoyed hearing what you think of the story. Please continue letting me know.**


	16. Back in the Room

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_BIG WARNING...Light mentions of past abuse of a minor in this chapter, nothing specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 16**

_Back in the Room_

Dean found himself being forcefully pulled back to consciousness by the cold numbness in his arms and the sticky feeling against his back. He felt the blood running down..._no up..._his veins in the wrong direction. And this crazy sensation was what had hauled his sorry ass back to the land of the living..._and damn did he regret that sensation._ He groaned and shifted slightly as the pull on his shoulders increased and he pried his eyes open as pain pulsed around inside his head making him wish he was still unconscious. The wet resounding cough that resulted when he shifted upward to a sitting position caused his head to explode with agony and his eyes to clench shut almost painfully.

"Finally awake I see…" The voice of Walsh impeded on Dean's solitary little world and he groaned deep in his chest...causing another explosion of racking coughs to surge through his body. He forced his eyelids open and then shrank back against the wall in disappointment..._he wasn't dead...not yet_…he was in another chamber and the figure of Mr. Walsh was watching him with an almost bored expression on his pallid face. "Ya know…I wanted to play…not watch you sleep Winchester…besides that brother of yours is going to interrupt us soon." He pushed away from his seated position on the large broken stalactite and smiled…his hands wringing together in a promise of pain and other things that Dean didn't want to think about in too much depth.

He felt his skin crawl at the mere thought of this thing _touching_ him. Dean bit back the fear rising inside his chest at the thought of Sam showing up and schooled his thoughts in more useful directions. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing...the fact that his brother was coming..., but either way, he didn't want his baby brother anywhere near this thing. It was one thing for him to take the _abuses_ that this figure could dole out…but he'd be _go-to-hell_ before he'd allow this _thing_ to touch Sam. "Leave him out of this…" He bit through gritted teeth as he wrapped his arms around his stomach and hauled himself to his shaky feet. The world swayed a bit as Dean locked his knees in place, but the fuzziness of his vision cleared quickly and he simply ignored the resounding pain inside his head. Dean coughed again, the phlegm rattling loosely inside his chest as he realized that he was still soaking wet…_and it was fucking freezing cold inside this damn cave_. He thought.

It had to be like fifty-five degree inside this room and he was starting to shake, badly, as his body struggled to warm itself up after the unplanned submersion in the pool. "Oh…are you c-c-c-cold Dean?" The thing made a nasty little face in the, well lit room…_Dean noticed as he looked around._ His gaze eventually found its way back to the larger than life figure moving closer to his position and he narrowed his green eyes and clenched his jaw in rising frustration.

The fire emanating from his sparking eyes was enough to make the figure stop for a moment and take stock of what he was seeing inside the young man. This was not the broken little boy he had seen inside Dean's head, when he pulled the memory from the deep dark past of the older brother. This…was something different...something that would be infinitely harder to destroy.

Whatever the creature had tapped into with the older brother…it was more than he'd anticipated and it gave him pause as he decided how to _break_ the stubborn power resting _not-so-quietly_ behind the angry gaze. "Not as weak as I thought Dean…interesting." It shifted and raised an eyebrow in response to what it percieved as a challenge. "Or is it just the threat against your brother that raises the stakes for you?" Walsh saw the minute flash of rage mixed with fear before Dean buried it and threw up a wall of indifference. "Ahh…interesting." Maybe it had tapped into something here...something that could be exploited if these brother managed to make it past him. What if he could take out one of them? Would that completely _break_ the other...? Well, it had every intention of finding out exactly what it would take to break this unusual little family. Something about the brother's had intrigued it from the start...and the fact that two of them had been chosen to champion the cause? Well, that would just make this victory all the sweeter when Pandora failed to return it to the confines of this cave...it just had to reach the edge and it would be free to spread across the world.

XXXX

Sam continued to feel his way along the damp rough wall. He was careful about putting one foot in front of the other and allowing his fingers to guide him as he made progress through the dark. A slow build of dim light pulled him further and further into the cavern, pushing him forward without thoughts for his own safety. Sam had no weapons, but he wasn't about to leave his brother to whatever fate that _thing_ had planned; especially not after learning the history behind the figure that had taken his brother. Sam had wanted to cry out his big brother's name but the fear of giving away his own position and losing his only leverage kept him uncharacteristically quiet. He would follow his brother into the depths of Tartarus if that was what it took to save him.

Being that this creature seemed to be based in Greek Mythology, he wasn't entirely sure that that _wasn't_ where he was actually headed. But in all honesty…it wouldn't have mattered if he 'had' known…he would _always_ search for his brother. He couldn't think of a single scenario where he would allow his brother to '_simply disappear_', with no trace, and Sam would accept that.

The light continued to grow as he pushed forward, his movements becoming bolder when he was able to see the terrain he was travelling across easier in the growing light. His heart swelling with hope the closer he got to the increasing illumination…Sam paused momentarily when he could suddenly make out the low rumble of male voices.

_'I just need you to scream…Dean. Just a little and all this stops…'_ The deep fluid nature of the creature's voice had Sam scrambling forward, his steps becoming more deliberate and even quicker as he heard the muffled groan of his brother.

He rounded the last bend in the corridor and shuffled to a halt when he could finally see inside the room. The monster wasn't going after his brother on a sexual level…he was flat out torturing Dean. The thing was…Sam couldn't see _what_ it was doing.

Walsh's fingers were pressed against Dean's forehead and his brother's body was rigid, his eyes had rolled back in his head and then the eyelids slammed shut. The breathing shallow and fast paced as Dean breathed to through his nose…the clenched teeth preventing his older brother from breathing normally. The fingers of Dean's right hand clenching and unclenching in an unconscious reflection of something only he could see. Sam's mouth opened and closed mutely as he stared in confusion. A single tear leaked from the tightly closed lids of his older brother and that had Sam surging forward...without any sort of plan of action.

The creature spun around and its eyes widened and then instantly narrowed as a grin spread across the feral lips. "Nice to see you…Sam." In a flash of green light Sam found himself thrown backwards and then thrust forward as the creatures fingers connected with own forehead.

XXXX

_Sam was inside a room, he looked around in confusion as he tried to figure out just where the hell he was now. His roving gaze fell on a chained figure in the center of the small cement area. "Oh…God…" Sam murmured when he finally recognized the body of his brother. The blood dripping down Dean's battered body...he was only wearing a pair of boxer shorts and the wounds were so numerous that Sam didn't know where one began and another ended. He found that as he tried to push forward and touch Dean…he was frozen in his spot near the opened door._

_Another presence inside the room made Sam cast his eyes to his right and he growled deep in his throat, an angry primal sound, when he saw the creature watching the hanging figure of his brother with a predatory gleam in its eyes. And then those icy blue eyes shifted to look at Sam in the soft light of the cement chamber. "Just thought you should see some of this Sam…it lives within Dean…it should live in you too...after all...brother's share everything...right?"_

_Sam wanted to argue…he wanted to rant and rave at the creature, but the sudden entrance of another person had him throwing his gaze back at the unconscious bloody body of his brother. He felt the bile rise in his chest as nausea tripped through his system and him gulping to keep from puking all over the dirty floor. But as his eyes shifted down he slammed them shut in an unconscious reaction to what he saw there…the blood on the floor of the room was a vivid crimson reminder of what had already been done to his big brother. While he wanted to close his eyes and forever forget the scene in front of him, he wouldn't give this creature the satisfaction of making him cave…and maybe more to the point…he wouldn't leave his brother to go through this alone…not again. _

_The slight movement of Dean's down turned head made Sam's breath catch in his throat…he gulped and stared at Dean. The glassy pain filled eyes that finally lifted to meet his and the sudden strength that seemed to flow from Sam into his brother's slowly breaking spirit filled the room in a soft glow of warmth that shouldn't be able to exist in this place. This was not a place of love and acceptance...it was a place of fear and blood._

_The creature shifted uncomfortably next to Sam as it saw the love and silent support that now connected the brother's in an almost unnatural tether that could be both seen and felt._

_"No…it can't be…" the angry voice ground out as it lurched forward and tried to attack the dangling form of the older Winchester. It was thrown violently backward and Sam was dropped to the floor and able to move as the frozen power released him. He scrambled back to his feet after being dropped to the rocky floor. He cast his anxious gaze around him and launched himself across the cement to where a long silver knife sat on a table near the far side of the room…it was covered in blood…part of his brained recognized that it was Dean's…but he ignored the burn of tears as his fingers closed around the scarlet handle...his brother's blood dripping down across his knuckles and infusing him with a power he'd never felt before._

_The version of evil that was creating the Walsh image finally noticed that Sam was free and growled as the thin lips pulled back over now pointed teeth and an inhuman growl ripped up from its throat. It cracked its neck and then pounded toward Sam. The younger Winchester had hauled himself to his feet and set his stance as he watched the thing sprint toward him…its fingers grabbing onto Sam's shoulders. He grunted as he felt the nails pierce his skin and the sting of blood as it ripped at his sensitive flesh…Sam twisted around and cried out as the nails were torn out of his muscles, the pale skin now streaked in scarlet; he thrust upward with the curved blade and had the satisfaction of feeling the silver slide effortlessly into the back of the creature. It's back arched and the hands released Sam to clutch at its back in pain as a cry echoed through the room and Sam found his hands covered in thick black sludge. He'd never felt what he assumed 'pure evil' would be…but as the obsidian colored liquid touched his skin Sam felt a burning sensation flow 'through' him...not only over his skin but 'into' his body. _

_"Sammy…" He heard his brother's raspy voice fill the interior as Sam pushed the rapidly falling body of the creature to the side and stumbled forward._

XXXX

Dean tumbled away from the dense cold rock face as he was released and then found his brother's tentative and shaky arms closing around him as they both dropped to their knees. "Sam…" He gasped.

Sam's pain glazed eyes pulled up to connect with Dean's confused gaze as they both just breathed in the other's presence. Dean twisted his head around and looked for any sign of the creature and nearly sighed his relief when he didn't see any indication that the thing was still here with them. His arms came up and closed around Sam's torso as he hugged his brother to him…the painful thoughts of what Sam had witnessed pushed quickly to back of his mind as he just drew strength from Sam's simple physical presence.

The feeling of his brother's head lolling forward onto his shoulder had Dean pulling back slightly to look at his little brother in rising concern. He glanced down at Sam's arms...at where they now laid cold and motionless near his little brother's folded knees, and Dean nearly choked when he saw the lines of dark black slowly advancing up his baby brother's right arm in deep dark _web-like_ tracks. "Oh…God….Sam." He whispered as he reached down to touch his brothers arm and then groaned as pain rocketed through his own skin at the mere touch of the dark liquid slowly soaking into Sam's skin. Fire seemed to be racing through his brother as Dean could literally feel his brother's temperature rising. "Fuck…NO!" Dean screamed as rage coursed through him and found release as his lungs nearly exploded in voiced terror. He ignored the tickles of his lungs as a wet cough lurched from his lungs and howled his anger into the echoing caverns...he didn't hear the rapidly advancing footsteps as he held his brother's heated and very unconscious body.

TBC…

**Author's Note****_: _**_ I am working out the next chapter and it should be up either tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest…sorry. But I needed to do a little research for the last test…it will involve everyone and bring in a couple of surprises as well. Thanks to everyone that I couldn't PM, that reviewed or read the last chapter…Cecile…here's your next chapter. By name you guys are all awesome: ReginaJoyce, lewlou15, dandy44, becca65d, need2no, mb64, jojospn, Karebear119, LeeMarieJack, Branchsuper…and any others from past reviews. Thought I would get you guys by name this time...Thanks guys._

**Please Review: It ensures that I get these chapters out…because of your responses. **


	17. Authors Note

first I apologize that this is not a new chapter. There is a problem with my computer, so it will probably tomorrow or possibly Sunday before I can get that chapter up. I didn't want anyone thinking that I wasn't posting the next chapter. This one is coming from my iPad. Anyways, I just wanted to make sure you all knew what was up.

Thanks guys, keep watch. It's pretty much written and stuck in the memory cache.

stryder2008


	18. The Business of Living Dean

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Light mentions of past abuses, nothing specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 17**

_The Business of Living Dean_

Dean's head spun in multiple directions as he frantically looked around the cavern, he hated that he couldn't quite see what was headed into his small sanctuary. His own chest was burning and tight as he tried to breathe past the gathering fluid in his lungs and the strong urge to cough. But Dean pushed the physical reaction to the back of his mind as he struggled to pull Sam into a more comfortable position against his chest. He was beyond scared now…he was fucking terrified. _He_ was injured, his brother had some supernatural spider-vein thing going on and Dean had no idea how to get either of them out of this place...and he knew that the longer they remained here, the less likely it was that _either_ of them would make it out alive.

The sounds of thundering boots had his head coming up and looking desperately into the darkness, his eyes straining to make out the approaching figures. He knew they couldn't take another run in with the thing that called these caves home. He squinted again into the inky blackness and then suddenly recognized that the voices that were calling from the distance were familiar.

"Sam!? Dean!? You boys here?" Dean nearly sagged as relief trip hammered through his entire body, causing him to close his eyes briefly in a silent 'thank you'. Bobby's voice was like receiving a reprieve at the last moment before an execution and Dean found that he had to swallow several times before he could try and call out. His throat closing up and the mucus that was coating his lungs making it sticky and difficult to talk around.

"Bobby..!" He called as loudly as his wrecked throat would allow. The simple slices of pain that shifted through his chest made him grunt and clench his eyes closed for a moment, although his hands never left Sam's unconscious form. He heard the footsteps increase and then the forms of both Bobby and their father sprinted into the light. They were followed by another man that Dean didn't know…but at this point he didn't really care, he was just grateful that he was no longer alone with Sam.

"Dean!" His father called as he slid to his knees next to his oldest son and then gently grasped onto Sam's limp form. His eyes were immediately tracking the black still climbing Sam's veins as he moved Sam's head so he could look into the boys still features. "Dean, what happened?" He asked as his blue eyes lifted to meet the worried and pain filled gaze of his other son. Dean's head immediately dropped as he realized that he couldn't look his father in the eyes at the moment. He'd failed to keep Sam safe and now his little brother was lying in a cave with an unknown illness.

Bobby leaned down and gently pulled Dean's chin up and looked at the boy as he kneeled in front of him. "Dean…son. Did you and Sam figure out what you were up against here?" He wanted to know what the boys knew and he knew that the only way he would figure that out was to simply ask. Dean's eyes flickered over to the unknown man, who was currently standing guard at the cave entrance. Bobby's gaze followed Dean's eye line and he smiled slightly. "That's Harvelle...he's another hunter and a friend. He was the one that figured out what we were probably after and then got in touch with us. He put us on the right track to finding you boys."

Dean nodded, his eyes reflecting gratitude as he looked over at the unknown man, and then turned back to Bobby. "Okay…uh…yeah. Sam…" He pulled in a shaky breath before continuing. "Sam figured out that it was Pandora and that we are dealing with the 'evil' she let out….that sound about right?" He watched Bobby's and his own father's eyes widen at his little brother's accurate discovery of the monsters identity.

John's eyebrows lifted as he was impressed with his youngest son's knowledge and ability to reason out what the boys were facing, but then his eyes dropped down to the Sam's unconscious form. "Dean, what _happened_ to Sam?"

"He…" Dean's voice broke off and he bit at his lower lip in a nervous habit that John had seen him do since he was about eight. He had never know what caused the little 'nervous tick' that his son had developed...but he knew that whenever Dean dropped into the habit...something bad had happened. And it almost always involved something with Sam. "He came to save…me. It infected him, dad." His voice dropped as Dean was instantly reminded of how much Sammy had done for him and the fact that his little brother had rescued him from the torturous memories he was being subjected to. Dean started to cough, violently, as his chest chose that moment to remind him of his own illness. His hands clutched at his stomach as it spasmed painfully and his father's blue eyes lifted to connect with Dean's gaze; a worried look had etched itself onto his father's face.

Bobby squatted down next to Dean and gently placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Dean, boy, are you okay?" He asked quietly. They all knew that they needed to get out of this cave, but he wasn't at all sure that the boys were healthy enough to travel. Dean looked up at him and raised his fist to his lips and wiped at the blood that now stained his lower lip and then nodded simply.

"Yeah, Bobby I'm just peachy. How's Sam?" He turned the question around and looked over where his father still held his little brother in a tender embrace that he had rarely seen the hardened hunter use with either himself or Sam. Dean moved again so he was sitting next to Sam's hip and his eyes dropped the slowly advancing black lines. "We need to get him out of here, dad." He said quietly.

John nodded his agreement, but said nothing as he pushed the sweat soaked bangs out of Sam's closed eyelids. He slid his arms under the lanky body of his youngest son and slowly rose to his knees, feeling the strain of Sam's weight settle into his arms. He pushed to his feet and then shifted his precious burden before turning to look pointedly at Bobby and Dean. "Let's go." He growled.

Dean waived off Bobby's help and hauled his own battered body to shaky feet, locking his knees…his hand shot out and used the cold rock of the wall to help him remain upright as vertigo tripped through his system. Bobby's blue eyes narrowed as he watched the kid push down whatever pain he was dealing with to do _what needed to be done_. It was something that he'd seen the kid do a million times and it never failed to break his heart that Dean had been turned into this self-sacrificing shell of man. He'd never been given the chance to have a childhood and that fact was driven home on a regular basis. Particularly lately with the tumor and the kidnapping…and now this….Sam and him getting drawn into this hunt.

Dean pulled in a breath and shoved off the wall as he stumbled after his father, Bobby following him and Harvelle taking point. Dean was all internal nerves and pain as he limped along behind the other men. His thoughts kept shifting to his brother and what Sam had done for him…and what he had done for Sam. They had been dealt a truly crappy hand lately…but they seemed to be rising above that. A thought occurred to him as they got closer to wherever the exit seemed to be…what had happened to the dragon-thing that had taken on the Kale persona? His eyes strained into the lightly lit corridor and he found his breathing increasing as he wondered just what they might run into when they got to the beginning of this crazy little maze.

He knew that Sam had destroyed whatever that had been back in the pool room…but they had simply run from the other creature...or what if it was all one creature. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that Bobby had fallen into a shuddering gate next to him. "Dean?"

Dean jumped slightly which caused his ribs to twist painfully and he bit back the pained groan that ripped through his body. Another attack of racking coughs had him stopping for a moment to catch his breath. Bobby's eyes screwed up in a worried expression that had Dean avoiding his eyes. "I'm not gonna break…quite looking at me like a busted piece of glass." He growled, causing the older hunter to grumble and look at the slowly disappearing forms of the other two men.

"Well, you gotta admit, Dean…you've looked better." He said.

Dean groaned and started walking again. "I don't know what you're talking about...I look great...So, Bobby…what did you find out about killing this thing?" He really didn't want the attention of himself, besides it was better to get a handle on what they were facing here…because he knew damn well that they weren't out of the woods yet. Both literally and figuratively.

"Um…Harvell said that there were three distinct phases to finishing the creature off. Each one that you get past will weaken the creature…but only by completing all three can it be returned to the confines of the cave or the box…as it is generally referred to." Bobby rambled on about the creature and Dean felt his stomach start to twist into knots…technically, they had only defeated two parts of the phases…which meant that there was something else that was coming for them. He hoped that with the addition of Bobby and his father that maybe they stood a fighting chance...but with Winchester luck...probably not. He simply nodded at the explanation, but kept his thoughts to himself. Until Bobby asked him about their experience so far and what they had seen while being trapped inside the cave for several days.

_That_ got Dean's attention. _Days_? They'd been tapped in this cavern system for _days_? That didn't make any sense. To him it felt as though he and Sam had been here for merely a few hours…although those hours felt like an eternity…it didn't feel as though he'd been trapped for _that_ long. "I think we've faced two of them…so does that mean that there's a third one?" He asked, a small part of him hoping that he was wrong.

Bobby swore and pulled his cap off as he beat it against his thigh in frustration. "Shit…yeah Dean. That means there's a third one." He pulled in a shaky breath and then replaced his old truckers cap on his head. "I was afraid of that. "

"What? You were afraid of what?" Dean questioned as his eyes flickered up to keep track of where his father and his brother were at the moment. Even injured he just couldn't shut off that part of him that worried for his family.

"Dean…You and Sam…this isn't over. It isn't gonna to let you leave…" They started walking again and Bobby winced inwardly as he saw Dean trip and then start coughing again as he tried to suck in some air and right his stumbling footsteps at the same time.

"But…Bobby…Sammy's not even conscious and that crap in his system can't be a good thing. He needs to get out of here or he might…" Dean couldn't actually finish that line of thinking. It was too painful for him…the idea that he could lose his brother to something evil that was _inside_ of Sam…something that _Dean_ couldn't fight. He felt the burn behind his eyes as they finally made it back to the crystalline room where he and Sam had first entered the cave. His father had stopped when the floating figure of Pandora was suddenly blocking the only exit from the large chamber. Her voice was low and thunderous as it echoed through Dean's head. "Dean Winchester…you cannot leave. It is not done yet."

He was driven to his knees by the force of the words…his head ringing in agony as he struggled to keep his eyes open and his hands away from his ears. Dean managed to look at Bobby and he was dismayed to see that the old hunter was now on his knees in front of Dean, his mouth moving…but Dean was unable to make out what he was saying.

"My brother…he could die…_you_ have to let him leave." Dean muttered as he brought his pain filled and worried eyes up to meet the earnest yellow slits of Pandora's gaze. She seemed to contemplate that for a moment. Her pale face twisting from the side to side as she considered his request, it was not necessary to have both brothers for the last trial...that part had already been completed and the brother's were victorious. The final test was to be completed by only one…and Dean had been her chosen champion from the start.

"You would stay?" She thundered as her hair spread out behind her by some invisible breeze as she continued to float just above the ground, but blocking their only route out of this _hell-on-earth_. Her white billowing gown fluttering softly and completely at odds with her terrifying appearance.

Dean's gaze flickered from where his father stood still holding the body of his baby brother against his chest, to where Bobby now knelt in front of him trying to get Dean's attention. "Will my brother live? If I go with you...will he live?" He asked quietly.

She against narrowed her eyes as she looked past the surface and saw the lengths to which he would go for his family and particularly his little brother. "If you beat the last trial…Sam will live…" She leaned in toward the small group, causing John to stumble backwards, losing his balance and falling heavily onto his butt. His arms were still wrapped around Sam's unconscious form, though he was careful to ensure that the boy didn't hit the ground too. "If you fail Dean Winchester…he will die."

Dean's mouth dropped open as he blinked several times in disbelief. He was smart enough to know that he was being used…and that his love for Sam was being used as a bargaining chip. He also knew that he was already injured, his head was hurting from the surgery and being repeatedly thrown into walls and dunked in freezing cold water certainly hadn't helped his overall physical condition. He was basically being given a death sentence here…but he couldn't ignore the fact that Sam's life hung in the balance. "You promise Sammy'll be okay?" He asked sincerely. She nodded slowly and Dean couldn't help but wonder what his father and Bobby were hearing…if indeed they were actually hearing anything at all. Their faces were blank masks, beyond their worried expressions as they stared at him and the Pandora creature.

Bobby stared at the blank look in Dean's eyes and then twisted to see the floating form. It was obvious to him that there was something happening with the boy and the entity. But as he shook Dean's shoulders and failed to get a response his concern started to ratchet up. He knew Dean well enough to know that the boy would do _anything_ for his family…and right now he was getting worried that that was _exactly_ what Dean was doing. _Making a deal with the devil…sotta speak._

John jogged back to where his son was kneeling like a statue, his eyes wide and unseeing as he looked toward the entrance where the woman was hovering. "Bobby, what the hell is going on?" He asked as he leaned down and tried desperately to get his son's attention.

"I don't know. I think she's _talking_ to him." Bobby answered.

John's eyes narrowed and then flickered back to his boy's vacant green gaze. "What the hell could she be saying?" He asked. Just as he was getting ready to shake Dean the illumination within the cave went out and they were thrust into complete darkness…John was just getting ready to panic as he realized that only Harvelle was protecting his other son, when the cave lit back up. And he found himself staring at the empty space in front of him…the space where Dean had been only moments before. "Dean!?" John called and then his gaze jumped up to Bobby's and his mouth worked but emitted no sound.

"Son of a bitch!" Bobby cried into the cavern. But as his gaze came back around he realized that the entrance was now clear and that _they_ could leave this place. Only _now_ they couldn't…not with Dean missing...again.

John felt his heart being torn in two at the decision they now faced…he knew they needed to find Dean. But as he looked at the helpless form of his youngest son, he also knew that they needed to get Sam to safety and regroup. Obviously there was more to this whole thing than they had thought there was.

XXXX

Dean found himself suddenly inside a large room…it didn't appear to be in the cave, but he knew that it _had_ to be there. This was where the _thing_ existed that he had to defeat…_the only way to save Sammy_. He would trade his own life for his brother's every time…but in this case he had to _win_ too. He didn't know what he had to win against…but whatever it was…he would do it...for Sam.

The Kale image walked into the well lit room and Dean felt his stomach start to twist again. His chest was burning and he could hear and feel the rattle of his own growing sickness as he struggled to simply breathe. The thumping pain within his head had him biting at his lip to keep the agony from echoing on his face.

"Dean. Dean. Dean…I've been waiting for you." It smiled and walked forward running it's fingers along his jaw and then pushing his face slightly.

"Can't say that I feel the same." Dean ground out. His eyes spitting green fire as he clenched his jaw and steeled his nerves for whatever this entity had to throw at him.

"Hmmm…" It raised an eyebrow and then smiled cruelly. "Well, I have something special planned for you, Dean." It twisted around and looked him deep in the eyes before continuing. "I know you'd sacrifice yourself for your family, Dean. But the question I have for you…is can you _live_ for them?"

Dean narrowed his eyes…he didn't understand. "What the hell do you mean? Speak fucking English."

It chuckled and stepped toward him and then the smile faded as Kale thrust out his hand and wrapped it around Dean's throat, cutting off his precious air. He was already having a hard enough time breathing without dealing without this bastards meaty fingers digging into the sensitive skin of his neck.

The choking sounds that were coming from Dean's throat were nasty and wet sounding as he struggled against the iron grasp of the Kale-creature. It simply smiled at him and opened its fingers, dropping him onto the ground. Dean's legs weren't fast enough to catch him and he tumbled to the rocky floor of the room…landing hard on his hip and grunting in pain as he gained yet another bruise to ad to his impressively growing collection of purples and blacks.

"Get up Dean." It said in a disgusted voice. The long meaty fingers digging into his soft hair and hauling him up his knees. The nails on the things hands digging into the sensitive incision on his head and the feeling of popping stitches cause nausea to roll unchecked through Dean's system. He bit back the need to vomit...he wouldn't not disgrace himself in front of this _son of a bitch_.

He cast glazed angry eyes up at the figure and reached beneath himself as he pulled his legs back under him and got slowly to his feet. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to _die_…but if you manage to make it out of the maze alive…then I guess you'll get to leave and I'll have to stay here…while you go back to that _thing_ you call an existence." It chuckled at its own joke…although Dean didn't find it funny in the least. "If you're _smart_ enough to beat the tests along the way."

Dean huffed at the continued vague references he was getting from the creature. "Tests?"

It looked at him like a parent looking at a small child and then stepped forward and cuffed him alongside the head. "Yes, Dean. Tests…did you really think this was just about torturing you? Hell, I can do that without putting any effort in at all. No, Dean…this is about whether or not you can best me in a battle of wits and survival. Like I said Dean, I know you'd die for your family…_but can you live for them_…"

TBC…

**Author's Note: ** _So I figured out my computer issue. Yeah! So Sam made it out and we'll deal with him and John and Bobby a bit in the next chapter. They're not at all happy about this little turn of events. But since this fiction has focused on Dean's healing and his strength of character…I wondered if he'd be as willing to 'live' for his family as he is to die for them. So this is exploring that and will ultimately decide the outcome and be the lead in for the final part of the trilogy. Thanks to everyone that has reviewed and read and favorited. I'm so glad you guys have enjoyed the story enough to follow it for over 50,000 words._

**Please Review: I absolutely love it when you guys let me know what you're thinking.**


	19. The Final Test

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Mentions of violence, nothing too specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 18**

_The Final Test_

To say that John felt like the absolute worst father in the world was putting it mildly. He had left his eldest son inside a damned cave that they could no longer find the entrance for and walked away with nothing but his youngest boy. He and Bobby had tried to find that cave again, once they knew that Sam was at least safe...but with no luck. He felt the icy fingers of guilt clawing their way through his belly and into his soul as he looked down at Sam. The boy was still unconscious and his arm was now completely covered in the black spider type veins that were slowly climbing up onto his shoulder and collarbone. His face had lost any color that it had had when they had found the boys and his breathing was now labored and extremely shallow.

John sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face as he looked at the motionless form of Sam. He couldn't remember when the kid had grown so much…Sammy was almost as tall as he was at this point and as John stared at the lanky form, he was reminded that he hadn't exactly been _around_ for the boys, not for a while now. _He wasn't any kind of father at all._ Hell, Bobby had been there more for his sons lately than he had...and that thought actually sent an acute stab of pain ricocheting through his chest. He sank slowly into the chair next the couch in the living room and reached out a tentative hand and ran his fingers through Sam's damp hair.

"We gotta get this hair of yours...cut, kiddo." He whispered to the silent face. There was no twitch of irritation or even a hint of the 'bitch-face', _as Dean called it,_ in his son's passive features. It was like talking to a corpse…John halted those thoughts since he couldn't really face the idea of losing both his sons on the same day.

He licked his lips and stood again, wandering over to the small cabinet where he knew Bobby kept the whiskey. He reached out and pulled the bottle from the shelf and then poured himself a glass of the amber liquid.

"That aint' gonna help find Dean, John." Bobby's gruff voice interrupted his search for solace.

John's tired blue eyes lifted to meet his friends and he sighed as he swallowed the liquid in one long gulp. "I know that Bobby. I just, I can't get over feeling like I chose Sam over Dean." His words drifted off as he looked away from the sympathy shining out of Bobby's wise old eyes. He didn't want _sympathy_, he wanted his sons back and not to feel that he had to sacrifice one to save the other. He'd felt that way since the night Mary died…the night that he'd thrust Sam's small body into Dean's tiny, yet willing, arms and told him to 'run and don't look back'. It had been a night from hell and he had created something inside Dean that night…something that was directly responsible for his eldest son's _self-sacrificing_ nature.

While on one hand he was proud of Dean and what he would do to keep Sam safe, on the other hand…it scared the shit out of him. He would need to talk to Dean about his willingness to put everyone else's lives ahead of his own. _If I ever see him again._ The thought passed through his head before he could stop it. He hated that it did…he hated that he couldn't guarantee that his boys would make it to adulthood…and that the blame for the state of their lives could be squarely placed at his feet.

John's eyes shifted back to Sam's still form. "I never wanted this for them." He whispered. The tears stinging behind his eyes as he blinked a few times to clear the suddenly blurry vision and he set the glass back on the cabinet. "Jesus Bobby, I wanted them to have a normal life." He chuckled, although there was no humor in the sound. "Ya know, I set up an account for both of them the day they were born. I started putting a hundred dollars a month into that account…it was to pay for college."

Bobby nodded. He understood, he really did…but he knew that these boys would never get that normal life…not as long as there were supernatural beings in the world. His thoughts shifted to Dean and the creature that had _chosen_ him and was currently making their lives a living hell. "I know that John." He blew out a long breath of air and then walked over to pour himself a drink as well. "Me and Harvelle have been doing some more research…" He drifted off as he took a sip of the burning whiskey.

"And…?" John pressed. "What did you guys learn?" He tilted his head to the side and thinned his lips as he waited for the older hunter to answer. Bobby wasn't making him feel any better with this evasive method he seemed to have adopted.

"You ain't gonna like it John…apparently the final phase of the tests involves some sort of maze or room...that'll have a mixture of intellectual and at least one physical test. I guess the 'champion' has to figure out what is beneath the three boxes and open them in a certain order...or they die." He pulled in a long slow breath. "Dean must best the creature in its natural environment…and in its natural form…and that kind of resembles…a dragon…" Bobby's voice lowered and evened off as he waited for John's blow up.

The eldest Winchester's mouth opened and closed several times but no sounds came out as he stared dumbfounded at his friend. "It's a what?" He nearly stuttered as the shock registered unchecked on his face. "That's not possible Bobby…there's no such thing…is there?"

Bobby's eyebrows lifted and he shrugged his shoulders. "Two months ago I would have said there wasn't…but the evidence is pretty hard to argue with here, John."

"So…_can_ Dean win?" John asked in a quiet voice. His eyes again shooting over to where Sam was lying on the couch, his face pale and devoid of expression.

"If anyone can beat the odds…its Dean." He furrowed his eyebrows and then heaved another sigh. "Dean's a lot smarter than most people give him credit for…he can beat this thing, John." Bobby wished he was really as confident as he sounded...because truthfully...he was scared for the boy.

"I hope so, Bobby." He whispered.

XXXX

Dean stared at the creature with an incredulous expression working its way onto his face. He groaned as he wrapped his arm around his mid-section to keep himself from coughing. "Just get started all ready." He growled. The creature smiled at him, the evil nature of its very existence echoing out of vacant yellow eyes.

"Okay, Dean. We can start." It turned and slammed a meaty fist into Dean's face. His head snapped to the right and it felt as though the damn creature had broken his fucking jaw. Pain flared and he felt his world spiral down to a pin point of light before it went out and he slid into the darkness.

XXXX

A rock pressing into his hip was the first sensation that Dean felt before the thumping in his head had him groaning in consciousness. The rattle in his chest was uncomfortable as he tried to keep from coughing, since he knew that it would just cause an explosion of agony. He rolled to his knees and pushed up onto his hands as he grunted and pried his eyes open, his left hand coming up to cradle his head. "Ugh…I swear I'm going to have brain damage before this is over."

It took a moment for his vision to clear of the blurry edges, but as it did he found that he was inside a large room…there was a table in the center with three boxes on it. But nothing else…no entrance and no exit from the solid stone…square room. He cast his eyes around looking for anything that would give him an idea about where he was at and what exactly he was supposed to do to get out. Dean finally climbed to his feet and stumbled to where the single table stood. He reached for one of the boxes and then hesitated as he considered what Sam would do in is type of situation. It also occurred to him to wonder exactly how the room was being lit...he couldn't see any light source of any kind.

His baby brother was one of the smartest people that Dean knew and he _knew_ that Sam would consider all possibilities before making any move. He stared at the three little stone boxes and wondered just what exactly they were. He blinked a few times and then noticed some symbols on the inside edges of the boxes. He squinted in the light and leaned over further, so he could get a better look at the strange engravings. Dean bit at his lower lip as he recognized where he'd seen the symbols…a history class that he'd taken in his sophomore year of high school. Three words were written on the blocks and above each block a representing image. The first block had the word _Teramorphous, _the second block the word _Elpis et Philia, _and the final block had the word _Thanatos et Xiphos_. Each block looked old and he wasn't entirely certain what the hell the words meant…he only knew they were from Greek history..._which kinda made sense._

_Damn-it, I knew I shouldn't have sat behind Jenny Miller and her really short skirts._ He thought with irritation as he tried desperately to remember what the class had been about. He really _did_ need to pay 'less' attention to the fairer sex…it was just getting him into trouble anyways. Why was it that he thought more with his _downstairs brain_, as Sam called it, than with his upstairs brain, where all his training was at? He worried his lower lip with his teeth and then settled on the last box, he closed his eyes praying that he wasn't compounding his own problem here.

He reached out and lifted the small box and found absolutely nothing beneath it…but the room suddenly started to shake and he was knocked to his knees again. "Damn-it!" He swore loudly as he noticed that a large crevice had opened up just off to his left, but the room had, at least, stopped shaking. A spasm rocketed through his chest and he started coughing as the world spun slightly and he noticed that there were spatters of blood that now speckled the ground beneath him. "Seriously…" He grumbled as he reached up to wipe away the crimson blood with rising irritation and then pulling his aching body back to his feet, locking his knees to keep from falling again.

Dean raised his eyebrows as he felt the coughing come back under his control and then he turned to limp over to the crevice. He peered inside the hole and was then crouching down slowly, holding his ribs as they protested the movement. His eyes caught a slight glimmer inside the crevice, so he leaned over further and reached into the dark area…his fingers closed around the cool handle of a weapon and he nearly yelled as it sent an electrical shock through his body. But it wasn't because he was injured, it was more like the weapon was 'saying hello'…like it wanted to get to know him or something. Which was pretty cool...since he was awesome and all.

_Okay, now I know that both Sam and my father would think that I am going crazy here._ His thoughts were tumbling through his head quickly as he pulled the thing into the light. A large curved blade with a wooden handle glinted in the soft yellow light of the stone room. Dean peered at it with interest, there were words engraved into the bronze blade…and that had his attention immediately…_a bronze blade?_ That was definitely something that he hadn't seen before and he knew for a fact that his father had never come across a bronze blade. The words that had been written on the box were also the words etched into the long curved blade. 'Thanatos et Xiphos' …_what the hell does it mean?_

He looked at the table again and then at the two remaining boxes…he groaned inwardly at the thought of opening anther box. Dean knew that there was a very good chance that he wouldn't be lucky enough to get another weapon if he picked up one of those two remaining stone coverings. He was getting really sick and tired of the idea of _things_ being let out of boxes.

Dean looked around the room and he made a quick decision. It was better to die fighting than cowering inside this room with a blade and nothing to use it on. He swallowed hard and then reached out to pick up the first box. As soon as his fingers closed around the box the room was thrust into darkness and the walls started to shake again…almost as though they were moving…inwards. "Can't a guy catch a break?!" He called into the dark room over the din.

And then there was a noise that had Dean scrambling into the darkness as it echoed through the chamber and resounded inside his head...it had him struggling to keep his feet firmly planted beneath him and trying to maintain an iron grasp on the blade's handle. It was the only weapon he had…and he'd be damned if he was going to die because he couldn't hang onto to the thing. The movement started another fit of coughing but the roar that penetrated the room had Dean's head snapping in several directions almost simultaneously.

Light again blasted through the area and Dean's eyes slammed shut as they began immediately watering…he wasn't sure if it was from the light or the racking coughs...to be honest he didn't care. He struggled to pull in oxygen and reached up to wipe the tears away. An image began to taking form and it had Dean's heart speeding up, his eyes widening as he saw something about two times the size of an elephant. The scales were a glistening kaleidoscope of translucent colors, long, lethal looking claws extending from strong rippling forearms. But it was the leathery spread of wings and a gaping maw that held long razor sharp teeth that dripped with _something_…that really garnered Dean's attention.

The dragon…_holy shit…a dragon…fucking seriously?_ He thought with a mixture of irritation and surprise as it began listing from side to side….and then it looked like the damn thing smiled at him…_actually smiled at him_. "Are you going to fight, Dean? Or stare at me all day…" The voice resounded inside Dean's head and had him gasping in pain as it seemed to shatter his concentration for a moment. "You opened the wrong box, Dean…that was not the correct order..."

Dean's finger's gripped the blade more fiercely and he pushed away from the pedestal and staggered out so that he was facing the creature. It roared again and the saliva leaked onto the ground making Dean's stomach turn as the smell permeated the air. "God…it's called toothpaste ass munch." He grumbled.

His thoughts turned momentarily to his brother and that this was obviously the final test…so if he could figure out what this thing was and what its weakness was…assuming that it was obviously tied to the three boxes…well one box…since he'd already lifted two of them. And he still had no clue exactly what he'd opened… As he stared at the angry eyes of the beast he cringed to think that Sam could have been here with him. Without the intervention of his father and Bobby…Sammy would have been here too…and that would have been tragic as far as Dean was concerned.

He closed his eyes and pulled in as much air as he could until he felt strong enough to stagger forward and slam his shoulder into the things leg before striking out with the blade and catching the underside of a wing. It howled in pain and rage as it struck forward, causing Dean to spin out of control as he hit the ground…hard. His shoulder screaming in pain as he almost dropped his blade, the blood from the creature streaming down the stained bronze metal and splashing over his right hand.

Dean groaned but gathered himself together and shifted his balance, pushing his pain and nausea to the back of his mind as his thoughts narrowed and focused entirely on the fight at hand. He ignored the wash of blood as his shoulder reminded him that he'd been hit…a whirl of wind above his head had Dean ducking and throwing his body into a judo roll that landed him beneath the beast. He looked up at the glistening scales of the underbelly and was just preparing to strike when he was struck by the fiery wash of pain as the talons of the beast tore into his side and across his hip. Dean cried out in agony as he bit through his lower lip and closed his eyes for a moment before he thrust his right arm up and pulled down. He barely heard the roar of pain as the dragon stumbled from above him…Dean's own rippling agony drowning out everything but the sound of blood rushing through his head.

A loud crashing sound had Dean trying to turn his face, but it was just too much effort at the moment. He swallowed and then crawled away from the listing beast as the legs finally gave way and it sank to the ground with a heavy thud. Dean ground his jaw in agitation as he pushed his own pain away before grabbing the blade and turning so that he was facing the things head. The dark liquid dripping from the long edges of grotesque teeth as it growled and stared at him and began a transformation. After a few moments Dean was no longer looking at a beast but at the monstrous form of Kale. He gulped as the image of the man held his guts in place with his hands, the light slowly leaving his eyes…Dean had nothing to say to this _thing_. He put an arc to the motion of the blade and sliced it across the shoulders…neatly severing Kales head from his body. Suddenly he was struck with the meaning of the first words..._Terramorphus_...a monstrous being...not necessarily a monster, but a being of monstrous proportions.

Dean felt his body starting to give out on him…he was light headed from blood loss and pain…he couldn't walk and he knew that he wasn't making it out of here alive. And yet...that had been the deal…_he_ had to make it out _alive_ for Sam to live too. His only chance was to turn over the last box…he clenched his teeth and steeled his nerves as he dug for his stubborn streak. After he'd managed to get past the nausea tripping through his system he closed his eyes again and then started pulling himself toward the pedestal once more. His hip screaming at him the entire time as the ground pulled at the opened gashes, he left a thick trail of blood over the floor and his shoulder was crying out in white hot fire at the rough treatment. But the thought of Sam and the black veins that had nearly encompassed his little brother's entire arm, before he'd disappeared with their father, kept him pulling himself over the rough rock floor.

Dean rolled to his back as he stared up at the last the box…it felt as though the damn pedestal thing was a million miles away, but he was too worried that he wouldn't be able to hold back his own impending unconsciousness long enough to reach it. that he focused even harder. But again…the flashes of Sam's face gave him strength and the last image of his little brother rushing to save him at the last minute had him grunting as he pulled himself to his knees and then up so he could see the last box.

The words 'Elpis et Philia' standing out in stark relief against the dark background of the stone box. Dean reached out and noticed how badly his hand was shaking as he pushed at the box and it toppled to the floor, there was a resounding clatter of noise as it settled…the room again started to shake and Dean was knocked to his knees and then onto his back as he cried out in agony…with no one to hear.

XXXX

John watched his youngest son with a blank expression. His hands wrapped around a barely warm mug of black coffee and John's thoughts began wandering aimlessly. He simply refused to leave Sam alone for any period of time, so he'd taken up an almost constant residence in the living room.

Sam felt his eyes flutter and then a slight wash of nausea as he pushed open his heavy eyelids. His first thought was that he _really_ needed to pee…and his second thought was what the hell had happened and where was Dean? The light penetrated his pupils a little painfully and he groaned, his father's eyes immediately flickering to his. His worried expression shifting from concern to shock to happiness…Sam watched the changing emotions of his father and then looked for his brother….nothing…his brother was nowhere to be seen and Sam felt the cold grip of fear clench his heart.

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _This chapter dealt with the final challenge…now of course they have to get to Dean before he succumbs to the injuries…because if he dies within the cave…so does Sam. Thanks to everyone that reviewed and anyone that I couldn't PM…_

**Please Review: I hope you are still enjoying the story…please let me know through a quick review.**


	20. Kept Promises

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Mentions of violence, nothing too specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 19**

_Kept Promises_

It started with his toes…and they were tingling…_that was slightly uncomfortable_…and it had him working to get his own eyes open…so that he could see just what the hell was going on down there. The uncomfortable sensation started to move up his legs and had him wishing that he could shake them violently to stop the uncomfortable progression. Two words kept echoing through his pounding head…_elpis et philia…_as he tried to convince his sticky eyelids to open up.

A insistent pull that Sam didn't understand had him scrambling to his feet and then blinking slightly as he tried to steady his weak knees. He closed his eyes and started to pull in a deep breath but was halted in the middle of it by an image of Dean…he was lying on the floor of that damn cave and his brother was bleeding and unconscious.

Sam didn't understand how, but somehow he _knew_ that Dean had completed the final test…but now it was up to _him_ to find his older brother and bring him home. His father noticed the sudden change in Sam and was placing a gentle hand on his shoulder in silent support as he waited for the kid to tell him what was going on it that giant brain of his sons.

"Dad…we have to go back." Sam said in a strained voice. The image of his big brother was so clear that he could almost see it as an 'echo' of the shapes…even with his eyes open. He _had_ to get to Dean.

"Sam, we already tried. The entrance is…gone." John said honestly, though it cost him deeply to admit their failure. His eyes were full of sorrow and concern at the instantaneous way Sam's gaze snapped back to meet his.

"No, dad. I _saw_ him. We have to go back…I think…he's dying." The last part of the sentence was almost whispered as Sam struggled to get the words out around the building emotion. John's face nearly crumbled at the breathy way the words escaped his son's throat…he known that Dean hadn't been in that great of a condition when they'd been trying to get out of that damned cave in the first place. But to have it so blatantly stated by _Sam_…well, that was almost heart breaking for him.

"Okay. Sammy, what did you see?" He asked quietly. John's gaze lifted and connected with the panicked face of his youngest son. He saw the myriad of emotions that played across those wounded eyes and it had him biting his tongue and pulling every ounce of stubborn Winchester pride that he had.

Sam's forehead furrowed in frustration at the wasted time it was taking to _explain_ this to his father. "Can we talk about it in the truck? We need to go…he doesn't have much time."

"How do you know that, Sam?" Bobby asked as he stepped away from the stairs where he'd been listening to the conversation; his face full of worry and hope at the same time.

"I can't explain it Bobby. I just _know_ it. Like I can feel it…" His eyes shifted from his father to the Bobby and back again. "I can feel _him._"

Bobby raised his eyebrows and then looked over at John. The older Winchester seemed to be struggling a little with the revelation that his youngest could actually _feel_ the state of his older brother. But as Bobby thought about the connection that the two had had when the Pandora creature had come for Dean? It actually wasn't that hard to understand…or believe. "The connection, John." He said as a way of explaining what the younger boy was probably feeling. "Because when they were both drawn into this challenge, they were connected to its outcome…both of them. If one of them doesn't make it…either does the other." He didn't like putting it so bluntly in front of Sam…but Bobby was pretty sure that the kid already knew _this _on a basic level.

Sam's eyes snapped up at that and his face turned into one of etched stone as he grabbed his boots and started shoving his feet into them, ignoring any lingering pain in his body. He'd be _damned_ if he was going to let Dean die…not after what he knew his brother had already been through. That just wasn't going to happen on his watch…and they were being given a 'heads-up' about his brother's condition and Sam knew that if they went to that cave now, they would find an entrance…and an exit….and Dean. "Dad, I _know_ that Dean already beat the final test…but if we don't get to him soon…it won't matter. I keep seeing these words in my head, elpis et philia…" His voice drifted off as he stared at his father with silent pleading eyes. John had to assume that this was the 'wounded puppy eyes' that Dean had been complaining about for years. _Damn…those eyes are really effective, Sammy. _ He thought as he simply nodded and went for their jackets.

Bobby's head snapped up at that and his mouth opened a few times before he spoke. "Elpis et philia?" He asked Sam…at the boy's nod and look of confusion he went on. "Elpis is greek for _Hope_ and philia means love. According to the myth of Pandora…all that was left in the box after she opened it was Hope…so I don't really understand where love plays into this."

Sam pulled in an unsteady breath as he recalled the remainder of some dream that seem more like a memory than an _actual dream_. He'd seen three boxes, he'd only seen the words on two of them, the first had been the ones Bobby had just described and they'd played inside his head over and over as he'd woken up. The others were a little less clear…he thought they were thanatos et _xiphos _. He looked over at Bobby and narrowed his eyes as he tied his laces on his boots. "Bobby?" The other man turned to look at him. "What about thanatos and xiphos?"

Bobby's eyebrows rose as he looked at Sam with an incredulous look on his face. "Uh…xiphos means blade or a type of blade and thanatos…" He paused as he pulled in a steadying breath. "Thanatos… means _the personification of death_."

Sam nearly choked on his response as he sent a frantic look in his father's direction, all the color had leeched from the boy's face and John look positively ill.

XXXX

Dean felt his knees digging into the rocky floor and the press of the gravel into his side as he rolled slightly, he was really trying to avoid the irritating little spikes. He groaned as he shifted again and the image of Sam's face popped up in his mind. Dean bit down on the cry that threatened to escape as he started hauling his battered body up. The blood that had run down his leg earlier had dried and caked, making his pants stiff and difficult to maneuver without aggravating the injury. Which he realized, as he dropped his hand down to touch that part of his hip, was still bleeding sluggishly at the site of the claw marks.

He closed his eyes and tried to remember the last thing he had done…he remembered knocking over the last box and then…nothing. He'd passed out…or at least that was the only explanation that Dean could come up with for the missing time. "I am so never taking a case that puts me inside a cave...ever again." He said aloud. The only response to his comment was the sound of his own rapid breathing. Dean was discovering, on a whole new level, how much he hated being alone. He'd always hated it…but this was driving home how _much_ he needed to be around his family.

It was difficult to control the rampant jumping of his own thoughts as he struggled to keep his legs under him. Dean looked at the three now blank spaces on the pedestal…and he found himself wondering just what the hell the words had actually meant.

Dean figured that the first one had to have meant 'monster' of some sort…since that one had brought the dragon thing into the cave. While the last one had to mean something about a blade…but the middle one? That was giving him some difficulty…he had no friggen clue. Nothing had happened beyond the loud resounding noise of the thing hitting the floor…there had been no shaking or weapons or evil dragon-monsters released…_at least he hoped there hadn't been._ He was pretty sure that he wouldn't be in any condition to fight anything else at this point, hell, he was barely keeping it together as it was. His leg was tingling from the claw damage; the incision site on his head had a sharp rhythmic and extremely painful beat to it, and his shoulder was on fire. Dean was careful to keep his shoulder as still as possible as he began to struggle toward the long tunnel, which he hoped, would be the way out.

In short…_he felt like shit._

He'd always had a high tolerance to pain…but that little fact was being tested a little too much lately for his…comfort. _No pun intended._ Dean's fingers found the edge of the cool rock wall and he leaned against it on his good arm and tried to use it to help him walk. The room was swaying in and out of focus and his feet felt like he was wearing cement boots, like one of his mobster movies that Sam hated so much. The low light causing Dean to misstep and he found himself stumbling and then biting his cheek as fiery pain flew through his entire body and had his head screaming in protest. The barely controlled rattling inside his chest caused a chain-reaction of painful racking coughs that had Dean struggling to breathe. The thin raspy sound making him even more light headed as the room spun and he focused on just breathing and remaining upright.

Sam's face appeared before he closed his eyes again and Dean wanted to sob in frustration. He _had_ to get out of this cave if Sam as going to live. That had been the deal…if _he_ lived, then so would Sammy. So once again he pushed his own pain down and 'soldiered' on…placing one shaky foot in front of the other as the tunnel finally opened up into the large anti-chamber he'd entered, what seemed like days ago. He released a tiny sigh of relief as the entrance came into view, the bright streaming sunlight making him squint as he tried to swallow down the rising nausea and limp the few remaining steps.

The slight breeze and the smell of pine invaded his senses and had Dean thanking God that he was no longer smelling blood or the rancid flesh of the creature. He could feel the spinning of the world increasing as he got closer to the large opening and he knew that he was using what was left of his energy reserves to make it this far…chances were, he wouldn't be going any further than the clearing in front of the cave. But that was okay…since it meant that he'd kept his end of the bargain…he'd made it through the tests and then managed to escape the cave. That was what he had promised Pandora he would do…and at this point just keeping that promise was taking every last shred of strength that he had to give.

The sunlight was warm, but the temperature outside the cave was not even above 45 degrees…and Dean's core temperature had never really recovered from being dunked in the pools repeatedly. He noticed that the cool air set off another cacophony of racking coughs and he had to bend over to keep from falling. His good hand was resting against his knee, as his injured shoulder stayed wrapped around his aching chest and ribs. The hip decided that it had had enough of being upstaged by Dean's lungs and sent a spiral of sharp pulsing agony winding its way up his body. And then his brain hit the 'off' switch and Dean found his world closing in as he slid unceremoniously to the ground…a soft 'umph' the last sound he heard before the rushing of blood inside his head silenced everything else and he went willingly into the enticing darkness.

XXXX

Sam still wasn't that steady on his feet, so his father had driven as far into the woods as he could safely get the truck and then they'd walked the remaining distance. Bobby had had an old walking stick that he'd given Sam to help with the balance. _It was weird_…the closer they got to where he _knew _Dean was at, the more he wondered about the ghosts of phantom pain that he was feeling in his shoulder and along his right hip. Part of him refusing to look at it too closely, because he was afraid that he _knew exactly_ what that phantom pain meant…_Dean had been injured_…and he was feeling that through this weird connection thing they had.

He followed his father and listened to Bobby lugging along behind him…they hadn't even hesitated when determining who would go first and who would go last. John was carrying a large pack that was stuffed with medical supplies and weapons of every make and model that Bobby had had hidden around his salvage yard. Sam had taken his own pistol and had a shotgun slung across his back in an attempt to be prepared. His father had wanted to leave him at the house, but both Sam and Bobby had argued violently in favor of him going. The main reason was because _he_ was the one with the connection to Dean…so it stood to reason that the entrance would 'sense' him and appear allowing them in to try and save Dean.

As they rounded the last bend in the trail, the falling temperatures had Sam worried, he knew that Dean had been dunked in cold water and that he wasn't dressed for this colder weather. Plus, there was the small fact that he'd known about the coughing before he'd been taken from the cave…he wasn't sure how that had happened…_and that was a conversation that he'd be having with both his father and Dean at a later date. _ He'd grabbed Dean's favorite leather jacket on the way out insisting that they bring it to help keep his bother warm…_when_ they found him. Because Sam simply couldn't accept that anything else would happen…they _would_ find Dean…and he _would_ survive.

His eyes were roaming as he listened to soft thumbs of the other men's boots on the dry leaves and pine needles. He caught the slight movement of a squirrel as it scurried up a tree and disappeared into the canopy of the forest…as Sam's gaze dropped back down; he stumbled to a halt. His father had done the same his eyes unblinking as he stared into the open clearing in front of where the cave was at. Sam's mouth dropped open as he watched the Pandora creature leaning over the bloody form of Dean…and his heart jumped into his throat as one word rippled up through his body and was barely said with any sound at all… "Dean…"

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _I told you guys this is a trilogy and it is…so there are only two chapters left in this portion of the story and that's not enough to deal with what's happened to both Dean and Sam effectively. So anything that isn't addressed in this story 'will' addressed and fixed in the last adventure. It is also a hunt based fiction with a new monster and new challenges for the boys. There may also be a time jump there to get Sam a little closer to the age he was when he left for college. But don't worry I have every intention of dealing with everything the boys have faced and the scars and strengths that they gained as a result of that. The last hunt ties directly to this one, but in a totally unexpected way. Thank you to every that PM'd or reviewed and a special thank you to those of you that can't sign in._

**Please Review: I am hopeful that you are interested in a the final leg of this journey in the form of the last story.**


	21. PhilodelphosA Brothers Love

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_**Please Review:**__ Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Mentions of violence, nothing too specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 20**

_Philodelphos…A Brother's Love_

Dean was lying sprawled on the cold unforgiving ground with the Pandora creature leaning over him as Sam sprinted forward. He stopped a few feet from the creature and she turned and pinned him with her slitted neon yellow eyes. "Sam Winchester." She said as she extended her arm and beckoned him forward. Sam felt an unnatural desire to go to her…his feet shuffling forward, regardless of his desires, the few steps before he realized that neither his father nor Bobby was actually able to enter the clearing. But his mind quickly discarded that fact and he never saw the frantic faces or the silent shouts as they called to him, trying desperately to get his attention.

Sam's worried eyes flickered to Dean's prone form and his eyebrows knitted together when he finally saw the tragic condition of his older brother. Dean looked terrible. His shoulder was obviously out of the socket, he had blood running from his head wound that had dried and made a macabre looking trail across Dean's pale freckled face. His gaze travelled down and he bit his lip in sympathy when he saw the claw marks that marred his brother's right side, the flesh along his lower ribs torn open and extending down past his hipbone. Sam swallowed hard as he stared at the state of Dean's body and what it had taken for him to complete the final test…alone. He sighed and then realized that she was still holding her hand out.

"Sam Winchester, you can help your brother." She said as she turned her full gaze on him and waited.

Sam didn't understand. How could he help his brother? He decided that it didn't matter 'how', he would do whatever it took to help Dean. He closed the remaining distance and held his hand out to hers, immediately feeling power flow along her arm and into him. "Can you heal him? Ya know…like you did before?" He asked as he felt the tingle travel along his muscles and around his chest.

Pandora shook her head. "I cannot. It is not within my power to heal him after the tests…it would undo what he has done through sacrifice." She looked back at the unconscious man at her feet and then looked back over at Sam. "But you can share the healing process with him. I can connect the injuries…he will not suffer from each hurt as you would assume some of them and the healing of them as well."

Sam's eyes widened at that. _He would what? Take on some of those terrible injuries that he could see littering across his brother's body…_He groaned, momentarily, at the thought of what that pain would be…but that was it…that was his only hesitation before he simply nodded. "What does that mean?" He asked quietly.

She sighed. "Dean Winchester would only suffer from _some_ of the injuries. I cannot heal him…but I can share his pain with you so that _he_ suffers less."

Sam licked his lips and moved to a kneeling position next to the creature and finally got a close look at Dean's face. He was shaking and there was a definite wheezing rattle to his short shallow breaths. Sam reached out and gently touched Dean's face and he felt his insides crumble a little as he felt the heat rolling off his shivering brother. "Do it." He said simply as he raised watery eyes to the creature.

She nodded and placed one hand on Sam's chest and the other on Dean's chest and then all Sam could feel was the fiery slash of burning agony as his left shoulder lit up in pain and his arm grabbed uselessly at the blood that now flowed from his own body. Sam was able to focus just enough to see his brother's face relax slightly as his own flesh on his shoulder knitted together before Sam's eyes. He pushed back his own pain and replaced it with his pleasure at seeing the physical evidence of his sacrifice was so immediately helpful to his brother. And then the pain became too much and he fell forward bracing himself on his good arm as the other pulled into his body, before he hit the ground face first.

Pandora removed her hands from the boys and then turned to Sam. "You have fulfilled the final part of the test, Sam. You have shared in your brother's pain to save his life…_Philodelphos_….a _brother's love_, Sam."

Sam's pain filled gaze lifted to hers…and then dropped immediately to Dean as he felt a hand gently touch his fingers. "Sammy?" A rough voice whispered.

Dean's eyes were glassy and sllitted, but he was looking at Sam with worry written in every line of his being. "You okay?" He said quietly, before he noticed that his brother was bleeding. Dean was suddenly struggling to come to a seated position and then a wave of racking coughs rocketed through his chest and had him gasping for air and his hip lit up with fire and he fell back against the ground. This was the first time he noticed that the shoulder that had been ripped out of the socket was no longer paining him. His eyes dropped to Sam's and then travelled further over to where he could now see the blood flowing freely from his little brother…and the injury site was the exact location that the dragon had scored his shoulder, when he'd hit it, in the final test. His eyes flashed up to meet Sam's and then flickered to Pandora's and then moved back to Sam again.

"Sammy…what have…you…done…?" He said through the pain in his chest and in a tight wheezing voice that when he heard it…did not sound like his own. Dean felt the guilt flood his system once again at the thought that Sammy had suffered for him…_why would you do this Sam?_ It honestly confused him that his little brother would _barter _for him…_if that was what had happened_…he prayed silently that it wasn't.

Sam's eyes lifted to meet the intense green of his older brothers and he blinked slowly as he struggled to focus around his own pain. "I would…do…anything for…you…Dean." He said as he stared unblinking at Dean's stunned and humbled expression. "Love…you." Sam's soft voice whispered as he finally lost his battle with the pain and he toppled over to the ground. Dean gasped his surprise and struggled to shift and catch Sam. His hip was screaming at him in pain and his head thundered its displeasure with the sudden movement by flooding his stomach with nausea…which Dean immediately pushed down. He gently laid his hand on Sam's back and closed his eyes as he felt the steady, if shallow, breathing of his little brother.

Pandora watched the connection between the brother's fade as the light that she had surrounded them with slipped back into the earth. She could feel her own connection within this temporal plain fading. "Dean Winchester, I can no longer remain in your world. The task is done…for now." He looked at her, though his eyes were narrowed and angry, his face was worried.

"But what about Sam?" He managed.

She smiled. "You will both live. As was promised." And with that she was gone…a wisp of fog was all that remained of the flame haired creature that had pulled both Sam and Dean into this mythological hunt.

Suddenly the world shifted again and Dean could hear his father's frantic voice filling the air as he struggled to remain conscious. The wheezing in his chest increased as the coughing started over again and pain ricochet through his skull as Dean's eyes fell shut.

XXXX

John slid to his knees beside the unconscious forms of both his sons. "Sam…Dean…" He said as his hands went to both of boy's chests seeking confirmation that they were still alive. He closed his eyes slowly as his eyebrows pulled together and a sigh escaped his lips in gratitude that he wasn't the last remaining Winchester on earth. Bobby stepped up quickly and looked at each boy and then his hands went to John's arm.

"We need to get them out of here…now John."

"I know. We should go." John answered as he rose to his feet. He knew that they should probably dress the boy's wounds…but right now he wanted them both in a hospital and that wasn't something that he thought that he would ever think willingly. He'd watched helplessly as the creature had placed her hands on both his sons and then Sam had fallen forward with injury and Dean had fallen into unconsciousness.

Bobby had called a couple of hunter friends of his and they were only minutes away as of the last call he had gotten.

XXXX

The trip to the hospital had been quick and uneventful. Both of the Winchester boys had remained stubbornly unconscious as they completed the trek to Sioux Falls general hospital and John was worried by the tight rattling he could hear inside of every breath Dean drew. And the bleeding on Sam's mangled shoulder had barely slowed even with pressure bandaging, which Bobby had applied while John drove, at unsafe speeds. Once they'd rolled into the emergency entrance a team of nurses and doctors had descended on them and pulled both the boys from their care. And now John was pacing the waiting room like a caged animal and Bobby was watching with increasing concern as the man unraveled before his very eyes

Bobby had never seen this side of John Winchester. He knew that the man's sons were everything to him…but he'd never seen what the potential loss of them would do to John. And now he knew that there was no way that this man would survive the loss of even one of these boys…let alone both of them. He'd known that when John lost Mary to the fire all those years ago, that it had nearly broken the man…but this was something totally different. Because he'd put the boys into this position and he'd caused them to be aware of this world and introduced them to the potential violence of it.

Bobby also knew that there was never _another path_ that a man like John could have taken. He was a man of action and after Mary died, he'd needed _action._ There had been no reckoning for his wife's death and he hadn't understood the _way_ she'd died or why…so he'd gone in search of answers and that was how Bobby had met the man and the two young boys that would come to be as important to Bobby as his own blood. He swallowed the lump that quickly developed in his throat at the thought of the boys. He sent up a silent prayer that both the Winchester boys would survive the night. He'd heard the loud rattling sounds emanating from Dean's chest and the shoulder on the kids left side looked positively agonizing. And then there was Sam…he hadn't even been injured when he'd entered that damned square and now he was nearly hypovolemic with blood loss.

Bobby and John had been helpless to do anything but watch as the creature had done _something_ to the boys. Neither of them had been able to see exactly what had happened…but they both knew that _something_ had transpired inside that clearing. He just hoped that it meant that both boys would live as a result of it.

XXXX

Sam felt himself shifting back toward awareness and dull thump in his shoulder told him that he hadn't _dreamed _the injury. He'd really been in that forest and they'd really saved his brother….and that brought him back into full consciousness. He struggled to sit up and then felt a fire lurch from the dull ache and he groaned at the pain.

"Sammy…stop." Dean's soft raspy voice penetrated his struggles and had him forcing his eyes open and looking to his left. It took a moment for the blurriness to clear and the cobwebs in his brain to recede enough to make out his brother lying in the bed next to him.

Dean was wearing an oxygen cannula and his eyes were narrow with barely repressed pain. His hip was bandaged heavily and the blood from the incision on his head wound had been cleaned away. Sam got his first look at the bruises that littered his older brother's face and the glassy way he was staring at Sam didn't make the younger brother feel any better about what he was seeing. "You okay…?" He said quietly.

Dean raised an eyebrow and gave a slight nod. And that was when Sam heard the desperate wheezes from his brother's chest. A cough worked its way through his lungs and Dean found himself curling in around the shards of agony that tumbled through his chest as he tried to simply 'breathe'. Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the awful sounds and determined that he didn't like what he was seeing or hearing from Dean.

A doctor entered a moment later and leaned over Dean's bed. He listened to the tight way that the boy's lungs were handling the illness that now assaulted a body already tested beyond normal limits. As he felt the burn of the fever he thinned his lips, he'd been against putting the boys in the same room, but he'd been assured by Dr. Thomas that it was in both boys best interest to keep them together. He'd been brought up to speed on Dean's tumor, so he couldn't be sure if the fever was a result of the pneumonia mixed with the bronchitis that the boy had developed or if it was due to a complication of the tumor removal. He'd scheduled a CT scan for in the morning. The doctor was hopeful that a little more rest would help to strengthen the young man.

But as he watched the two look to one another seeking confirmation of the other's health…he was inclined to agree with the Neurologist…it had been a good plan to keep them together. They seemed to draw strength from the simple presence of each other.

As long as Dean made it through the next few days…they would both make it out of this hospital…alive. Of that the doctor was confident. The only concern he had was possible complications with the previous surgery. It wasn't a good thing that Dean had been injured right after a seriously dangerous operation and it looked as though the kid had taken several blows to the head when he'd been attacked on that hiking trail. _Although, why they'd been hiking so soon after such a dangerous operation? He had no clue._

Sam looked at the man, seeking a silent answer as to the condition of his older brother. "We'll know more in a day or two Sam." He said with a sympathetic pat on the end of Sam's bed. "I will keep you informed. Your father wants to come talk to you two…are you feeling up to it?" Sam's eyes flickered from the doctor to Dean; he saw the slight incline of Dean's head. He knew his brother was asking to see their father…so he nodded.

The doctor smiled tightly and exited the room. John was through the door before it had even closed. "Sammy…Dean." He breathed when he saw both his boys were awake…although they had certainly looked better. He sighed at the sight of their pain and drug filled eyes and pulled a chair over, seating himself between their beds.

"Dad." Dean managed in a whisper. And it nearly made John cringe with the uncomfortable rasping sound of his eldest son's voice. He reached over and gently squeezed his Dean's hand…avoiding the obviously pain filled area near the kid's hip.

"You did good, Dean." He said quietly. The way Dean's eyebrows furrowed at the compliment made John wonder if he'd ever actually given the boy one…he couldn't honestly remember. And set off a whole new set of guilty conscience within an overwhelmed mind.

Sam watched the interaction and he saw the disbelief reflected in his brother's eyes…their father did not generally tell them they'd _done well_. He wasn't cruel by any means, but he certainly didn't throw out compliments…whether or not they'd been earned. And Sam knew that Dean felt this way as well, so he wasn't surprised by the incredibly embarrassed way his brother's eyes fell from their fathers gaze.

John's own blue eyes lifted meet Sam's gaze and he nodded at him as well. "You too Sam. You guys looked out for one another…and that was the only thing I ever wanted you to do."

Both boys looked toward one another and Dean's tired eyes showed Sam that he too was proud of Sam…although he didn't share in his father's assessment of his own involvement…_because Sam had gotten hurt_. And as far as his older brother was concerned that was an unforgiveable and cardinal sin.

Dean had looked away from his father as another bought of coughing worked through his chest and the fiery flashes of pain pulsed within his lungs. He felt like he was breathing through a wet blanket and he couldn't pull enough oxygen into his starving chest. An alarm went off next to his bed as Dean struggled to avoid the blackness that was threatening him, pin points of light bouncing inside his skull…his body was now screaming for air as he tried desperately to push down the intense pricks of ice that seemed to be trying to pull his lungs apart from the inside.

"Dean…" Sam breathed as he watched the nurses rush into their room and immediately to his brother's side, pushing his father out of the way as they did. He didn't know what type of alarm had gone off…but the medical staff seemed pretty damned concerned about it…and he was more than worried…he was getting scared. And that was another rule Dean had…_Don't scare Sammy…ever._

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _I did say that this was a trilogy and that the third installment would be a hunt and directly related to this story…this chapter is setting up that relationship. It is not just to torture Dean some more or make Sam worry either. It is essential to the next segment. Thanks to everyone that read the last chapter, your responses were humbling. ..so thank you._

**Please Review: The continued small responses you give had helped push this story forward. Please continue letting me know what you think.**


	22. Too Much Information

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_**Please Review:**__ Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Mentions of violence, nothing too specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 20**

_Too Much Information_

The alarms echoed through the small room inside of the hospital and the bustling voices of the medical staff sounded like buzz of angry bees as they hovered over Dean's body. The smell of the antiseptics and cleaning materials was wafting through the air and making for a pungent mixture that had Sam wrinkling his nose in disgust. He'd pulled his body into a tight ball as he sought some form of comfort as he listened to the strangers that were trying to save the life of the most important person in Sam's life.

He watched with a sinking heart as the nurses struggled to save Dean. The intense fear that he was feeling was climbing around inside him like a coiling snake...and he had no control over the roiling nausea inside his belly. Eventually, Sam had to turn away when they ended up putting an endotracheal tube down his brother's throat to ensure that Dean could breathe. Once the nurses had finally cleared the room, Sam found that he was alone with the silent form of his older brother. The only sound in their room was the soft push and pull of oxygen in and out of the ventilator. He shifted uncomfortably as he turned toward Dean's bed and then pulled his long legs out from beneath the white cotton blanket. He sighed when his shoulder reminded him of the injury and he wished that he could have taken even more of the injuries that his brother had sustained rather than just the damned shoulder.

A part of Sam knew that Dean was going to be pissed with a capital 'P'; as soon as he found out that Sam had taken on any of those injuries at all…but he didn't give a shit. Anything that he could do to help his brother get back to some semblance of his former health…he would do…and be grateful that he could help at all. But Dean wasn't going to understand that and Sam knew that. His brother had never been able to allow Sam to take on his share of the burdens that came with along their lives and this time Sam had made the decision on his own…and he knew that there would be a reckoning for that decision.

He slowly closed the distance between their beds and sank quietly down onto the uncomfortable mattress, near Dean's hip. Sam just wanted to be close to his brother and as he listened to the sounds of Dean's struggle to live…he found that his eyes were burning with rising emotion. He reached out with his good arm and gently touched Dean's slack face…the effect was instantaneous.

_Dean was seated on the hood of the Impala; he was looking off into the distance, a beer in one hand and the other supporting his weight as he leaned back. The sun was creating a beautiful array of oranges and purples with some pale blue mixed in as it set over the horizon. He watched with rapt interest as it sank below the hills and filled the valley with a fiery light that was slowly fading. The only thing that was missing was the presence of his younger brother. The fact that he was sitting alone wasn't in and of itself so unusual, but the fact that he wasn't worried about Sammy's absence should be cause for concern. His only thoughts were that it would be better if Sam were there…things were always better when he and Sam were together. But the silence was nice too. _

_Sam simply watched for a moment as Dean stared quietly into the distance and then sighed as he started forward, intent on joining his brother. He was surprised when he noticed that his shoulder wasn't bothering him and as his eyes dropped down to where the injury had been he saw only whole flesh. He furrowed his eyebrows when he saw that Dean also didn't seem to be suffering from the debilitating injuries that he had sustained inside the caves. "Dean?" He called. Sam watched Dean's head tilt to the side and then he shifted and turned so that he was looking in his brother's direction. His face broke into a smile and he waved Sam over to where he was sitting, the darkness was only now beginning to envelop the area, but the slowly rising harvest moon was beginning to cast an amazing amount of soft silver light over the land._

_"Sammy." Dean said as his little brother pulled himself up onto the hood of the Impala and settled next to Dean. "You okay?"_

_Sam narrowed his eyes and found that he couldn't quite remember how he'd gotten here. The last thing that he remembered…he couldn't really remember very much and he didn't understand why. "I…I don't know…why are we here?" _

_Dean looked away for a moment and thinned his lips as he tried to think back…he tilted he head again as a memory formed in his mind. The faint image of something attacking his little brother formulated and his eyes widened as he watched Sam kneeling next to the form of woman. She was touching his head and something else that was lying on the ground. Dean struggled to see around the large form and when he was finally able to make out what it was that she was connecting his little brother to, he gasped. "No…" His angry green eyes flashed up to meet Sam's confused gaze and his hands shot out and grabbed onto his startled brother's shoulders. "Sammy…what the hell were you thinking?" He said through clenched teeth._

_Sam gulped back his surprise at the sudden shift in Dean's demeanor. He hadn't expected it. "Dean…I don't understand." He said in a high pitched voice as his breathing increased. His brother's eyes were blazing with a mixture of concern and anger as he glared at Sam. _

_"What did you do, Sam?" Dean seethed. He could handle a lot of things, but not the idea that Sam would place himself in danger for him. He would never ask that from Sam…and he wouldn't want it. Dean had one job and that was to keep Sam safe…that was it. Everything else that he did paled in comparison to that one unbreakable order that rules all of Dean's decisions in life. _

_Sam swallowed hard before he pulled away from his brother's grasp and spun off the hood of the car. "I had to do it Dean. I couldn't let you deal with that alone…you would have died..."_

_"So?!" Dean cried angrily, throwing his hands up in the air in punctuation of his words._

_"SO? Really, Dean?" Sam couldn't believe that he'd just heard that. "You think that I could've lived with you dead? Are you that broken, Dean?" The pain that he felt at his brother's impressive lack of self-worth radiating inside the room like a black fog; he blinked several times as he watched his words land like a physical blow. Dean staggered off the car and away from Sam, shaking his head in dismay. Sam closed his eyes for a moment and then pushed away from the edge of the car, slowly following the retreating form of his brother. "Dean…" He said quietly when he saw the kneeling outline of his older brother several feet in front of him. Dean's shoulders were slumped forward in a dejected position and he looked almost like he was praying or something. _

_Dean wasn't sure how to handle this situation. He was angry that Sam had put himself in danger to help him and yet Dean knew that he would have done exactly the same thing as Sam…if their positions had been reversed. Hell, he would give up his own life in a heartbeat to save Sam's. He felt Sam's fingers close gently over his shoulder as his little brother sank down onto his knees next to Dean. "Dean…don't you understand. I would do 'anything' to save you…or help you. I can't help it." He sighed and shifted so that he could see into Dean's turbulent eyes, forcing a visual connection between them. _

_"Sammy…you can't feel that way man. It's not your job to save me." Dean's eyes were so lost and pained that Sam suddenly found it hard to breathe. How was it that Dean didn't know how important he was to this family? Had both Sam and their father managed to take advantage to the point that Dean thought he was the expendable one? How the hell had that happened? And where had Sam been that he hadn't noticed this side of his brother before? He felt the salty tears burning behind his wounded eyes as he stared in shock at Dean._

_"Dean…I've been watching you my whole life. Don't you think I picked up a few things?" He sighed and reached up to scrub his hand through his too long hair in frustration. "How could I not care about you the way you care about me? I had the best example of what a brother should be growing up…I learned to be like this…from you, Dean." Sam's voice dropped off into a whisper and faded into silence. _

_Dean twisted slightly and stared at the large puppy eyes of his younger brother and he couldn't help but see the sincerity swirling inside those blue-green windows to Sam's soul. And he'd thought that his heart couldn't ache any more than it already did, but as he looked at the open and honest expression on his little brother's face he knew he'd been wrong. He didn't have the right to ask Sam to do anything less for him than he would do for Sam. It wasn't fair…but to simply accept this felt as though a piece of Dean's soul was being forcefully ripped out of his chest and the pain that smashed into him was pure agony. He cried out when it overwhelmed his control and flared through his head and settled behind his eyes like a battle ax._

_Sam scrambled to his feet and crouched down in front of Dean. His brother was now clutching his chest and the look on his face was pure anguish as he struggled to breathe._

_"Dean!" Sam cried as Dean fell forward, his head landing on Sam's chest and pushing his little brother backwards until he landed heavily on his butt…his now unconscious brother struggling to breathe in his lap. "DEAN!" Sam repeated as he reached up to check his brother's pulse and couldn't stop the wash of relief when he felt a strong steady thump against his fingers. _

Sam was pulled back to the hospital by a slowly increasing pressure on his fingers. The fingers that he had wrapped around Dean's hand as he pushed his heavy eyelids open only to hear the slowly building struggles of his older brother. "Shh…Dean. It's okay. They had to put you on a ventilator to help you breathe…calm down." Sam said quickly as he recognized the building panic in his brother's slowly twisting body. His eyes collided with the worried gaze of his older brother and Sam saw the relief that instantly washed through Dean as he saw for himself that Sam was okay. His brilliant green eyes slid down Sam's body and then the glassy gaze narrowed when he noticed the sling on Sam's arm.

Dean reached up and carefully slid his fingers over the sling as his questioning gaze lifted to meet Sam's eyes once again. Sam knew that his brother was silently asking 'what had happened to him'…and he wasn't sure that that was a question that he wanted to answer just yet. He was still trying to sort through the weird dream he'd just had. Somehow whatever the connection was that the Pandora creature had created between them was still there. While he couldn't feel exactly what Dean was feeling, he could tell on a deeper level that Dean was seeking an answer. Sam stared at the worried expression that worked its way onto Dean's face, his pale features reflecting all things that his brother usually hid.

Dean didn't understand what was happening. He'd understood when Sam had told him about the ventilator and the need for it…he could barely feel the pull of oxygen into his burning lungs, so he knew that he needed the machine. But the pain of having something shoved down his throat along with the fiery waves of hell working their through his body reminded him that he wasn't in the best shape at the moment. He could feel the pinch of an IV in the top of his right hand and the grueling ache that had settled along his lower ribs and down his right hip was sheer torture. But the look on Sam's face beat all those other things right out his mind.

"Dean, I know you can't talk man…so I need you to listen." Sam gulped and licked his lips before he continued. "Please don't be angry with me…." His eyes took on a suspiciously wet gleam as he watched Dean struggled to push the pain out his own expression…Sam knew that he was trying to spare his brother the disturbing task of having to see it. "You don't have to do that for me, Dean. I'm not a kid anymore…I can handle this. I had to try and help you…I think when Pandora touched me and you…she connected us…I don't really understand it…but…I kinda feel what you feel?" Sam pulled his eyebrows together in an effort to strengthen his own conviction in what he was saying.

Dean heard the words and the immediate reaction was anger…and Sam felt it along the link…just like Dean suddenly felt the waves of guilt and concern rolling off his little brother down that same link. His eyes widened suddenly and he stared at Sam in both confusion and no small amount of sorrow. He would never have wished that Sam knew the things he did….understood the soul wrenching darkness that pulsed around inside of Dean all the time. And as he watched the expressive face of his little brother he wondered how he could stop this. The sudden rattle in his chest caused him to want to cough, but with the tube he couldn't do anything…the instantaneous reaction of Sam's own lungs to the lack of ability in Dean's was so fast that neither brother saw it coming.

Sam was suddenly bent over coughing in wet racking bellows as he tried to catch his breath and Dean felt the tickle inside his own chest fade as Sam struggled to pull in the much needed lungful of air. When he finally met Dean's gaze again, his were watery and red from the coughing attack and there was a slightly panicked look deep inside those ocean colored eyes.

Dean was well and truly terrified now as he caught the slight tinge of red at the edges of Sam's lips…blood. He was somehow affecting his brother with his affliction…Dean retreated into his own mind and slammed ever one of the many walls that he had built around his mind into place. The sudden unexpected quiet inside his head was unsettling and when he opened his eyes and looked at Sam again, he could see the same shocked expression on his brother's face. "What did you do Dean? I can't feel you…"

Dean's eyelids fell shut again and he slowly shook his head as he struggled to keep the mental wall in place. He hadn't realized that he could control the link until that exact moment…the moment he'd thrown that visual wall into place he'd felt the sudden absence of Sam's feelings. The darkness was knocking at his mind's eyes again demanding that he submit to it. His mind effectively shut itself down as he drifted into the dark realms of sleep.

Sam watched as Dean succumbed to the sleep his immensely overtaxed body required. He couldn't help the need to touch his brother for just a moment. He needed to see if he'd imagined the link…as he laid his hand on Dean's arm again he felt the sudden exhaustion that his brother must have been feeling when he'd fallen asleep. The pain was an underlying current of the emotions that he knew his brother had to be feeling and Sam sighed as he removed his fingers and the feelings vanished.

"I guess it's not over Dean." He said quietly.

XXXX

Dean's body responded to the treatments over the next week and he was finally taken off the ventilator as his oxygen stats improved to a point where the doctors were confident that he wouldn't need to be re-intubated. Sam had been released two days prior and only after a heated argument had he agreed to go back to Bobby's to get some rest. Dean wouldn't say it out loud, but he was secretly glad that his brother had finally headed out of the hospital. The constant need to keep his wall in place was draining Dean's energy in a way that he wasn't used to. He'd never had to try and constantly block his own mind…and he found that his mind was tired. It wasn't that he wanted Sam to leave, but whatever that creature had done to them while he'd been unconscious…it hadn't gone away when she had.

Dean had been careful to keep quiet about the information that the doctor's had given him about the tumor removal. He was still having slight headaches, but they explained that that could be from the actual surgery and may dissipate over time. The doctor had explained that it wasn't a normal thing for a person to develop a tumor as quickly as had, so they wanted to keep a close eye on him for a while longer to ensure that nothing else would was developing. Dr. Thompson had also warned that with the illness in his lungs there was a small chance of complications there as well. He'd sighed at the information, this whole 'sick' thing was getting way the hell out of control. He didn't seem able to get past everything that had gone wrong in the last several months…and while he wouldn't ever say anything to Sam or his father…it was really starting to wear on him.

Dean could feel his strength breaking a little more with every mental blow he took. He closed his eyes and swallowed, ignoring the raw feeling in his throat as he did so. Sam needed him and as much as he would like to just 'let go' at this point and crawl inside his own head and stay there…he wouldn't. Sammy needed him around…so he would just push down his own insecurities…because that was what he did.

Even now with Sam gone, Dean could feel the slight pull of his brother's emotional state. The link seemed to be a two-way street. If Dean was feeling something then so was Sam…so he replaced the wall, building it thicker, metaphorically speaking, and higher every time he thought about it.

"How're you feeling boy?" Dean was startled by the gruff voice and then he shook his head when he realized that he hadn't even heard Bobby enter his room. He needed to get the hell out of this hospital before he ignored something important trying to get into his room. Bobby looked at the worn out expression on the boy's face and narrowed his eyes in confusion. Dean had been in the hospital and all he seemed to do lately was sleep, _so how was it that he was still so tired_?

"Okay…just really tired." Dean's voice was a raspy whisper as he struggled to keep from coughing and was then reminding himself that when he did that, Sam suffered…so he coughed and let the painful tremors work their way through his system.

"Yeah…speaking of that. What's going on with you and Sam?" Bobby wasn't stupid, he knew that there was something happening to the boys and he wanted to know what it was. And he was done waiting for these stubborn Winchester brothers to come right out and tell him.

Dean's head snapped up and his eyes widened in surprise. "What do you mean?" He couldn't quite meet Bobby's eyes which told the old hunter that the boy _knew exactly _what he was asking.

"Really, Dean…I know you better than that boy. And things ain't normal between you and Sam. So what the hell is actually going on?" Bobby wasn't going to let him get away with misdirecting his questions and Dean frowned when he saw the determined look in the other man's blue eyes. He sighed and leaned further back into the pillows as he scrubbed a hand through his short blonde hair.

"I…Bobby it doesn't make sense." Dean stammered.

Bobby pulled off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair and then replaced the old green ball cap before he settled into the hard plastic chair near Dean's bed. "So what the hell about our lives does?" He leaned forward and then waited for the kid to continue.

"Uh…Sammy…I can kinda sense what he's feeling? I guess."

Bobby raised an eyebrow and then shook his head. "Excuse me?"

Dean pulled in a lungful of air and then cringed when his lungs twinged in fiery pain. He stared at the other man as he struggled not to cough…it hurt…after more than a week in the hospital, it still hurt like hell. "I can sorta sense Sam…and he can sense me too…"

"What the hell, boy. What do you mean you and Sam can feel each other…cuz that's kinda odd." Bobby waited for Dean to continue and hopefully to explain what he was talking about. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees and pulled in a breath. "Okay…that didn't come out right…do you think this has something to do with Pandora?"

"Yeah…I know it does. She did something to me and Sam…"

"Like what? Did this happen while you were in that cave? Can you shut him out?" He asked as Dean squirmed slightly at the barrage of question being hurtled at him. He finally nodded and Bobby blew out a long slow breath before answering.

Dean furrowed his forehead. "Yeah, a little bit. But this shouldn't be happening at all Bobby….it isn't good for me…and it sure as hell isn't good for Sammy." And that was Dean's main concern…the fact that Sam could _feel_ anything that was going on inside of him…was…_well it was fucking horrible_ as far as Dean was concerned. He watched as the older hunter shook his head in a mixture of frustration and understanding and the older hunter groaned before pulling himself to his feet.

"So what does all this mean, Dean?" He watched Dean shifting uncomfortably in the white cotton sheets of the bed, his face screwing up in pain as his injuries flared to life. The kid was shaking his head in a mixture of confusion and simple acceptance.

"I don't know." Dean whispered and then glanced away from the concerned expression on the other man's face. And he really didn't…he didn't know what all this meant for him and Sam…but since it affected his little brother…he was sure as hell going to find out…and fix it.

XXXX

TBC…

**Author's Note:** _As I said this is all building into the start of the third part of the trilogy. The connection between Dean and Sam will raise something far worse that Pandora could have anticipated. And now they have to deal with the fallout of Missing the Hunt and the ramifications of their involvement. Dean's going to develop a bit of an obsession with figuring this whole thing out and that is what will drive the next story. Sorry for all the angst in this, but I feel that Dean would only tell people what he absolutely had to…and he would hate the idea that Sam had any idea at all what was going on behind those walls of his. Thank you to all the guest reviewers that I can't PM._

**Please Review: Your reviews have kept me motivated to push this story forward.**


	23. Complications in Healing

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a story line, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brother?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_**Please Review:**__ Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Mentions of violence, nothing too specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Chapter 22**

_Complications in Healing_

When Desn woke up he was alone again. His room, vacant of his family or their friends…and he found he was grateful.

Telling Bobby that there was something wrong with him and Sam had been the second most difficult thing he'd ever had to do. The first had been telling Sam he might not make it out of the surgery for the tumor. He glanced around the dimly lit room and sighed as he wondered if their lives would ever get back to some semblance of normal. He hadn't told their father that there could be complications from the injuries he received during the trials he'd gone through in the caves and he certainly hadn't told Sam.

That was a whole other problem that he wasn't sure how to deal with. His little brother had made some sort of deal with the Pandora creature and Dean wasn't positive that that whole thing was finished with them yet. He was finding that he really didn't think so…the more he tried to piece together the things that they'd done, the more he wondered if there was more to this whole hunt than he'd suspected. He felt the scratches starting ahain alongthe back of his throat again, Dean reached for his mug of water, hoping to stop the coughing fit before it started, the nurses had been kind enough to leave it sitting on the rolling tray that served as his dining table.

Dean's fingers closed around the handle and as he lifted it…suddenly his arm felt as though it was being pulled from the socket by the sheer weight of the plastic mug. He cried out involuntarily as his fingers went numb and he watched the mug drop to the floor. The loud splash of water and ice was lost on him as he tried to breathe through the intense pain shooting through his nerve endings. His eyes rolled up into his head and his eyelids slammed shut as he clenched his teeth, trying to push the pain back down to a more manageable level. His entire body locked up and he found that all he could do was focus on the pain shooting through his nervous system. He knew that the nurses call button was close to his left hand, but simply 'knowing' that didn't help him actually grab the damn thing and call for help.

The sweat rolled down his face and was instantly soaked up by the cotton of his pillowcase, he could feel pain shooting through him...whenthe door to his room was pushed open; Dr. Thompson appeared to be reading something as he entered the room, when his eyes finally glanced up and he saw the massive seizure that was holding the young hunters body in a rigid position, he dropped the clipboard and called for help.

The next coherent memory for Dean came in the form of an agonizing exhaustion that seemed to permeate through his entire body. No matter how much he tried to move his muscles, he found that he was simply too tired to force his body to respond to his demands. Dean was cognizant enough to know that that was a very bad thing. He pushed his leaden eyelids open and found that just that simple action was taxing what little strength he did have.

"Dean? You with me?" He tried to turn his head and identify the speaker…as he slowly forced his head to the side, he fuzzy gaze fell on the doctor and his eyes finally managed to focus on the blob in front of him. The older man stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Dean's head, he was feeling for a fever and was gratified when he felt only a slight warmth in the boys skin. "You had one hell of a seizure, Dean." He explained as he turned and grabbed the clipboard, writing information as his gaze flickered between the machines still hooked to the young man in his care and the body lying quietly in the bed.

"Wh…?" Dean managed and then blinked several times as he forced himself to concentrate on making actual words. "W...w...what…se...seiz...seizure?" He groaned out.

The doctor pulled in a long breath and smiled slightly. "Well, you're talking…so that's a good sign." He again starting writing and Dean groaned again to get his attention back. The man's worried brown eyes connected with the scared green of Dean's gaze and he sighed loudly. "Yes, Dean. You had a seizure. A grand mal seizure. We need to do some scans to be sure, but…" He didn't want to tell the kid this next part…but eventually he was going to figure out that there was something wrong with him…and that was without the doctors input.

Dean's eyes were growing more frantic as he waited for the man to answer him. What the hell had happened? And where were his father and his brother? The doctor bit at his lower lip and then pulled the small plastic chair over and sank into it. _Oh God…that can't be a good thing._ Dean thought.

"The seizure, in connection to the other problems you've had in the past, what with the tumor and the elevated fever have caused...I'm afraid they have caused a small hemorrhage in the brain…near the location where we removed the tumor from..." He watched with sympathy as the young man's eyes widened in fear. "The hemorrhage caused some serious damage…"

"W...w...what d...does…that m...m...mean?" _Damn-it, what's with the stuttering?_ Dean was almost afraid to ask, because he was terrified that he might already know what the problem was. He asked himself 'what it was the doctor didn't want to tell him?' and then he tried to form the words more carefully before he spoke. Trying desperately to ensure that they came out in one clear sentence…but his brain kept circumventing what he wanted…and insisted on doing its own thing.

"Dean, I'm afraid that there is some damage to the brain itself and this is interfering with your ability to speak normally. Now with therapy this may improve somewhat…but I'm afraid this damage is most likely permanent…" Dean stared at the man like he'd lost his freaking mind. Dean Winchester did not have brain damage….he didn't…but as he carefully watched the man in front of him, he noticed that there was something that the doctor wasn't telling him.

He blinked hard and focused on the words he wanted to say. "…W..What…else?" The doctor's eyebrows shot up into his hair line and he sighed loudly.

"Dean…can you move the toes on your right foot?" He watched as the young man blinked at him in confusion and then grinding his teeth together as his eyes flashed down and stared daggers at his own foot. He watched with a sinking heart as the toes barely moved…he tried to kick the covers off his leg and was dismayed when his leg shifted about an inch and then came to rest again. Dean's shocked gaze searched out the doctors sad eyes and he felt the burn of tears behind his eyes. _He'd failed…he'd managed to defeat the monster, but he'd still failed. How could he protect Sam like this? How could he hunt like this? Oh…God…does dad know? _The thoughts were stampeding through his head faster than he could process them.

He listened to a bunch more crap that the doctor spewed about 'how this wasn't the end of his life' and that, 'he could learn to live with this'…and perhaps with time they could lessen the affect it would have on his quality of life. Dean's brain checked out at that point…he knew better...and he knew that the doc knew better as well. Hell, the man knew what their lives entailed and that there was no way for a kid that couldn't run and fight to be effective in this life.

"Is…i…it…per…perm…permanent?" He forced past his own uncooperative mouth. His shrewd eyes searching the medical professionals for any hint that he was lying when he finally answered.

"The damage to the leg…I'm not sure. I think with time that can be lessened…you may have a limp from here on out…but that depends on how much you work at the therapy." The doctor watched as the news sank into the kids head. Dr. Thompson hated giving this news to Dean, the kid had already suffered so much and now there was more misery being heaped onto an already overflowing plate of bitterness.

"B…b…b…but not…m…m…my speech?" Dean was finding that, where before he'd loved to hear himself talk…now he fucking hated it. The doctor shook his head with slight frown, dashing the small glimmer of hope Dean had tried desperately to hold on to.

"No. I'm so sorry Dean…but I'm afraid that is likely permanent…we can't repair it. But you can work to make it easier through speech therapy."

Both of their heads turned toward the door as it was pushed slowly open and Sam's eyes widened to see, not only that his brother was awake, but that the doctor seemed to be having a fairly intense conversation with him. His worried gaze flickered between the older man with the clipboard and his brother's silent form as he debated on whether or not to ask about their conversation. He decided not to as he saw Dean's eyes falling shut as the continued exhaustion of his body, and probably the drugs, pulled him again into the slumber.

"Is my brother okay?" Sam ventured when he was sure that Dean was asleep and the doctor had started to step out of the room. The man sighed and then shook his head.

"I'm afraid there have been some complications Sam…but I really think I should wait to explain them until your father gets here…." They were interrupted by the booming voice of John Winchester as he rounded the corner and caught the end of their conversation.

"Wait for me? Why…?" He asked. Bobby was only a few steps behind the oldest Winchester and the doctor decided that it would be easier to just explain this to all of them at the same time. Since none of them was going to take the news easily….it made sense to let them ask the questions together.

"Can you all please follow me to my office?" Their eyes all flashed to the shut door of Dean's room. "He'll be asleep for a while yet…I had the nurses give him something to help him rest….please, I need to speak to you all…together." He started walking and silently prayed that they would simply follow him…they did.

Sam was stunned. He was absolutely speechless, which for him was an accomplishment…he'd listened as the doctor had described the complications that had happened with Dean in the last several hours. He'd wanted to ask why the hospital hadn't immediately called them in…but his father had beaten him to it. The doctor had explained that at the time, he had been more concerned with stopping the seizure than trying to get ahold of anyone. And since the event had happened in the middle of the night, the hospital was short staffed and he had told the on-call nurse that he would make the phone call. He had been returning to his office to do exactly that, when they'd met him leaving Dean'a room. The medical professional explained that he had been concerned about the possibility of damage and had waited until he'd gotten the results back from the neurological testing to make any notifications, he'd wanted to have answers for the family, not just more questions. They'd just managed to come to the hospital before he'd had a chance to call them.

"Does Dean know?" John asked. His blues were intense and there was a deep sadness in them that the doctor knew stemmed from a lifetime of hardship.

Sam's gaze snapped up and collided with the soft brown of the older man's as he too waited for an answer to that question.

"Yes. I had just finished talking with him when you walked up. He knows about the damage and the extent…and he knows that he had can work to reduce its effect on his life…but it won't just go away….and he knows that too." Bobby swore under his breath and shoved his hands into his pockets, before leaning against the wall in angry silence.

"Dean is going to need support…not anger, Bobby." The doctor said matter of factly. Bobby tilted his head to the side and glared at the man before shaking his head slightly and pushing off the wall. Sam's mouth dropped open as a denial sprang to his lips and he narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"You think that we won't be supportive?" He shook his head and swallowed hard. The lump in his throat building to where it was difficult for him to talk, but he forced the words out anyways, ignoring the burning emotions that welled up inside him. "We will do whatever is best…_for Dean._" Both his father and Bobby nodded immediately.

"I'm glad to hear that." The doctor added a few more remarks and the three hunters were shuffling out of his sterile white office and toward Dean's small isolated room at the end of the hallway.

XXXX

Dean was kept in the hospital for another four days before the doctor felt that the worst was over. His lungs had started to clear and although he still had the occasional coughing fit and there was still a slight rasp to his breathing…he was doing better. The constant presence of his little brother over the past few days had tried his self-control at a level that Dean didn't even know existed. He was exhausted from keeping the wall securely in place inside his own head and he'd found that he wasn't that interested in talking to anyone anymore…not even Sam. Although he certainly wanted his brother around…but the current state of his body was making that a painful thing for him. Of course, Sammy didn't need to know that.

The only thing that his brother had said about the 'bond' between them was that he was still getting faint waves of sadness and maybe a little pain trickling through it. But Dean knew that if he let the wall slip, his brother would get the ghosts of his current pain and despair…and that he couldn't let happen. Sam didn't need to suffer any more than he already had. The doctor came in with a set of crutches and a set of walking canes…Dean's eyes narrowed as he looked at his future for the next few months. The therapist seemed to think that they could get him back to walking…although he would probably always have a limp…she didn't know if that would go away or not.

His speech was another problem entirely. They wanted him to talk and really focus on all his words before he said them…so that he could try and work around the 'lag time' in his head…since that was what was causing the stuttering. He groaned inwardly every time he heard himself saying something now…so he found that he was more likely _not_ to speak than he was to be forced to hear his own stuttering voice.

Dean was sitting in Bobby's living room staring at the old television. His crutches were lying discarded near the couch and he found that he didn't even know what was on TV…it was just something to take his mind off what they were dealing with…with him. His gaze traveled up and connected with Sam's as his little brother rounded the corner from the kitchen. His brother's worried puppy-dog eyes immediately latching immediately onto Dean's glazed expression.

"Dean? You okay?" Sam asked as he crossed the old wooden floor and sank onto the faded red couch near his brother. He looked down at the coffee table, it was scattered with meds and a full glass of water along with a barely touched sandwich. "You feeling okay? Not hungry or anything?" Sam pressed.

Dean looked over at Sam and pulled in a slow breath and then nodded that he 'fine' and that 'no', he wasn't hungry. Sam tilted his head and Dean could almost hear the admonition in the physical gesture…_Use your words Dean._

He licked his lips and thought about what he wanted to say and then tried to answer Sam. "I'm…o…ok…okay…S…Sa….S'my." He pushed out and then his face fell as he realized that he still couldn't say the words correctly…_man did this such out loud. _He thought in frustration, they always sounded perfect in his head. Dean watched as Sam listened to him and then a wave of sympathy tinged with anger slipped along the connection that they had. Dean's face must have registered something, because almost as quickly as the feelings had started they stopped.

"I'm sorry Dean…I'm still trying to learn how to control that…" He smiled sadly. "You're better at that than me." It wasn't something that Sam thought was a good thing…and the way he said it made that extremely clear to his silent older brother.

Dean nodded and forced a slight twitch to his lips that could be mistaken for a smile if one didn't look too closely. "S….okay…S…Sam."

Sam leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, dropping his head into his hands in frustration. "I don't know how to help you, Dean." He whispered. He felt a gentle touch reach up and grasp loosely at the base of his neck. There was a slight squeeze before the feather light touch disappeared. He turned toward Dean and watched as Dean let the wall slip just a bit and he could feel the love and devotion that his brother had for him tingling through his heart. His brother didn't say it often…that he 'loved Sam'…but the strength of that simple thread of emotion ensured Sam that he did.

"Love you too, Dean." He said as he watched his brother raise an eyebrow and shake his head with a genuine smile.

"G…girl…" He said.

It was Sam's turn to shake his head and laugh. Both of their gazes were pulled to the entry way as their father and Bobby stepped into the room. Neither of the older men looked happy…but they both looked to be at peace with something.

"Dean…Sam…Bobby and I have been talking and we think that you boys should stay here for a few more months…" He held his hand up and Dean's mouth opened as he readied an argument. "No, Dean. We all know that you need stability in your rehab and that Sam may as well finish out his sophomore year here in Sioux Falls and then I can pick you boys back up this summer…when you're feeling better." He didn't mention the _elephant in the room_…that is _if_ you are feeling better and won't be a danger to me and Sam on the hunts, otherwise you may find a permanent home here with Bobby.

Sam's eyes flashed dangerously at that and Dean cringed as he felt the instant anger slip along that unseen bond. "You're going to leave him? Seriously, dad…we just got everyone back together and you're leaving again?" His voice was rising as the anger built inside him and had very few places to go without exploding out of him and into the world. Dean's eyes filled with a deeply profound hurt that he instantly clamped down on when he saw his brother's concerned gaze turn instantly in his direction.

"Sam, I don't expect you to understand this...but it's what's best for all of us right now. I can't stop hunting…and you two _can't_ hunt right now." John hadn't meant it come out as an accusation but that was exactly how he saw his words reflected in the expressions of both of his sons. Sam's eyes were sparking with anger and then narrowed as they flashed in defiance…and Dean's? Well his were blank…there had been an instant of soul-wrenching pain in them…but then it was gone and John found that he was looking at a blank mask. He wasn't sure when Dean had gotten so good at hiding his emotions...but he was...good at it.

"You're right about that dad…I don't understand. How can you care more about hunting than your own sons? You care more about revenge than you do about us!" Sam yelled.

John bit back the angry retort and ground his teeth together in frustration. Sam truly didn't get it…Dean did…always had. But Sam had been so young when all that had happened with Mary, that he didn't understand what it was that drove both John and Dean to hunt. He found that his blue eyes flashed over to his eldest sons and he looked for the support that he desperately needed…he only had to look for an instant before Dean's face opened and he nodded slightly at his father…giving him permission to do what he had to do.

"Sam…i…it's…oka…okay." Dean said quietly.

His younger brother's head snapped in his direction with an incredulous look plastered on his young features. "What? What the hell, Dean….don't you want him here with us?" Sam watched as Dean clenched his own jaw and then nodded.

"I…I…I do, b-b-but…he n-n-nee-needs to g…go." Dean stammered through his words, hating himself the whole time for the weakness of his own body. He should have been strong enough to get around the injuries…his body shouldn't have turned on him like this.

Sam just shook his head…he didn't understand this blind loyalty that his brother had to their father…and at some point he was going to talk to Dean about that. But not today…today he would go along with what his older brother's eyes were silently pleading him for…_support._

XXXX

The link between Sam and Dean became something that the older brother fought with every fiber of his being and the younger brother embraced whole heartedly. As the months wore on and Dean's leg improved allowing him to walk…albeit with a heavy limp…the fight in the living room between the brother's and their father was pushed to backs of their minds. Sam focused on school…his grades excelling as he found that being one place for an entire school year had him on the honor roll and the soccer team. He was thriving…and the constant feelings of happiness that Dean could feel from his brother made him push his own rambling ways to the back of his mind.

Dean had never liked staying in one place for long…that had always been his favorite part of this life that they lived…moving. He got to meet people and then more on to another adventure…or hunt. But as the months wore on he found that he was pushing that part of himself further and further down to accommodate what his little brother seemed to need. His speech showed little signs of improvement and he found that he'd resorted to only speaking when he absolutely had to. He would grunt an answer if it was needed, but he wouldn't actually form words if he could get around it. Sam was more understanding about that than Bobby was.

The old hunter would _make_ Dean talk to him when they were out in the shop working on an old car. Dean's ability to get rid of the crutches had made it easier for him to get around the salvage yard and he found that he liked working with his hands…and he was good at it.

It was nearly June and that meant that the school year was nearly up and their father would be showing back up soon. John had called on and off over the last several months to check on the boys and make sure that they knew that he was doing okay. Dean found that he worried that without his backup on a hunt, his father might get seriously hurt…and he knew that he would blame himself if that happened.

Late in the month of May, it happened.

Bobby received a phone call from John letting him know that he needed the boys…he'd asked if Bobby thought that Dean could actually hunt first…and as soon as Bobby had confirmed that the boy _could_ hunt…he'd given the older hunter coordinates and told him to send the boys. Dean still had the Impala…he'd been able to start driving again a few months back…and that small piece of freedom had done wonders for his mood. He'd been less sullen and stoic and had actually come out of his self-imposed shell...a bit. Bobby had been grateful to see that.

While he'd known that the day would come when the boys would be pulled back into the world of the supernatural…he found that he wasn't ready when it actually happened. He didn't want them to go…he _liked_ having those boys in his home. Bobby had gotten used to the music that Dean blasted from their shared room on the second floor and then the argument that would, inevitably, ensue when Sam complained that he was trying to study.

Neither of the boys talked about the emotional connection again…so Bobby wondered if it had simply dissipated over time. He didn't dwell on the things of the past often...he had too many unfortunate things back there...and the boys had kept him moving forward.

He'd convinced John to give Sam another couple of weeks to finish up the school year, before the boys take off. When he'd given the news to both Sam and Dean later that night, he'd gotten mixed reactions from them both. Sam had been understandably upset about the possibility of missing his final weeks…Bobby had ensured him that that wouldn't be happening.

Dean, on the other hand, had been totally silent and had simply nodded. He'd pulled his tired body up from the table and limped to the stairs…Sam had glanced over at Bobby and then immediately followed his Dean. His brother hadn't been able to hide the instant flash of panicked fear mixed with anticipation that had nearly shocked Sam as it slid through the barrier that Dean had built and hit Sam without warning.

He followed his brother up the stairs and into their room. "Dean? You okay man?" He asked as Dean sank onto his bed, a pained expression on his face as he raised his sad gaze to meet Sam's worried one. He shrugged and closed his eyes as a sigh escaped between his slightly parted lips.

"I'm…f…ff…fine." He stuttered and then bit at his lower lip in disgust. Dean had hoped that he would be able to conquer this before they met back up with their father. And then there was the fact that he would have to actually _talk_ to other people. He didn't want to see the sympathy in their eyes as they had to listen to him stutter over simple words.

"Dean, you're not fine. I can see that….so stop trying to convince me that you are." Dean glared at him in response, but said nothing. "Dean…"

Sam was stopped when his phone went off; he grabbed the silver device and held it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Sammy?" His father's deep voice boomed from the tiny speaker. Sam raised an eyebrow and shook his head at the obvious question.

"Yeah dad…it's me…what's up?" He asked. Dean's ears pricked up when he realized that their father had called Sam and not him. His wounded heart took another stabbing blow and he curled in on himself a little. Sam had turned away from him as he talked to their father, so he missed the action.

"Sam, I have to head out to another case. I wanted to give you guys the new coordinates…meet me there when you leave." His father told Sam the numbers and then added one more thing before he hung up. "Sammy?"

"Yeah, dad?"

He heard the slowly inhaled breath of air over the phone. "Watch out for Dean."

_**The End…sorta**_…

**Author's Note:** _As I have said, this is a trilogy and I have already started the next story line. In that one we will see a bit of a time jump, getting Sam closer to graduation and Dean will have learned to handle his disability. The tension between Sam and John has grown to epic proportions and they have kind of let Dean's silence go unnoticed as they got angrier and angrier with each other over the last two years. When a hunt comes along that is too similar to the Pandora hunt…Dean feels that he must see it through…even when he learns that the ultimate cost could be more than he's willing to pay. Within the confines of this last segment we'll see Dean eventually restored as his confidence in himself is built back up and the rift that will form between him and Sam will widen. And then there is that pesky bonding between the brothers to be dealt with. I hope that you will all come along on this final journey with the brother's as they remember who they are…and what they want from life._

_I will be posting an epilogue to bridge the time gap between the two stories. The final part of the trilogy will be called 'A Missing Life'. _

**Please Review: I know you guys have been amazing at that so far…please let me know how you liked this last chapter and understand that I am coming full circle on the healing.**


	24. Epilogue

**Legalities: **_Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure._

**Idea:** This little fiction has a story line, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. _This is purely a selfish little piece_ that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

**_Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that._**

**Synopsis:** _Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brother?_

**Warnings:**_ This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series._

_**Please Review:**__ Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story._

**_WARNING...Mentions of violence, nothing too specific or graphic, but this might bother some people so consider yourself warned..._**there is quite a lot of ANGST in this chapter...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

**Epilogue**

Dean was sitting in the Impala. His hip was still bothering him, but not to the point that he couldn't drive and their father had called for them. So they would be going. Much to his little brother's dismay. To put it mildly, Sam was pissed...he wanted to stay in Sioux Falls. He'd been given a spot on the summer league of a soccer team and he wanted to have a bit of normal for once. Dean shook his head at the thoughts of having to deal with the petulant and irritated glances that Sam would be flinging in his direction the entire drive.

A knock on the window had him glancing up and then rolling down the glass as Bobby leaned against the car. "You boys got everything you need?" The older hunter asked as he lifted a bag that he'd filled with sandwiches for their drive...and some money stuffed in the bottom to help with expenses. Although he wasn't going to mention to Dean that that was in there...mostly because he knew that damn Winchester pride would get in the way of his accepting the money for what it was...a gift.

Dean's green eyes flickered up to meet his after he grabbed the bag. "W-w-what's t-t-this?" He asked and then shook his head at the infuriating stutter that he couldn't seem to lose.

Bobby raised his eyebrows and then laughed. "What's it look like boy...a puppy?" He watched as Dean's face cracked into a genuine smile and took the bag and looked inside. There were several sandwiches, some chips and couple of sodas for the road...he smiled at Bobby and nodded his thank you.

"You're welcome kid." Bobby glanced at the empty passenger seat and then looked toward the old farm house. Sam was just exiting the door, his pack thrown over his shoulders and a sullen look plastered on his teenage face. "He's not going to be too much fun, Dean."

Dean snorted. "T-t-t-tell m-m-me about-t-t it." He turned so that he could see over his shoulder as Sam stomped up to the car and pulled the passenger open with more force than was really necessary. "H-h-hey!" Dean said quickly.

Sam's eyes lifted to meet the irritated gaze of his older brother and he muttered an apology under his breath. He threw his pack into the back seat and then looked at Bobby over the top of the car. "I guess we'll see you when we see you?" He said around the lump forming in his throat.

Bobby nodded. He knew exactly how these boys were feeling. It was the same he was feeling...he hated to see them leave, but he'd known that their presence would be temporary...he just hated that it was. "Yeah...you have my number boy. Keep in touch." He lowered his gaze so that he was looking at Dean too. "And you too boy. Don't fall off the grid."

Dean smiled and nodded. Sam crawled into the car and Dean fired up the engine, reveling in the smooth rumble of her motor. They each waived one more time at their friend and then Dean was pulling out of the Singer Salvage Yard. Sam slumped down into his seat, the petulance nearly radiating off his body like a pheromone. Dean looked out at the open road and he couldn't help the contradictory feelings that were rolling around inside him. He was grateful to be back on the road, because that meant that he was finally past all that crap of the last year...but the other part of him...a part that he'd deny even existed...was scared. Scared of what was out there...and what it could mean for their small family. His eyes flickered quickly to Sam and he found a small smile forming at the edges of his lips..._whatever is out there Sammy...we're facing it together man...because you and me? We can beat anything._ Deans thoughts shifted back to watching the treeline fly by as they sped down the old highway toward another hunt.

**Author's Note:** _The third part of this story is going up tonight. **So go check out 'A Missing Life'**._ Thank you to everyone that took a chance and read this story from start to finish and the amazing reviews that you posted. I have loved writing it and am looking forward to the next part of this storyline.

**Reviews are Amazing**


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